(no subject)
in the situation that i have set up, i am the only one that is going to get hurt. i promised myself that i would put my feelings ahead of anyone else's, yet i find myself in the same situation. i am too scared to ask for a defintion, because what if i don't get the answer that i want? will i actually do something to change it? probably not...why? because i'm weak? because i'm scared?...i just want to know what is going on, and i do not think that that is too much to ask. i don't think that asking for a defintion of my own life is tough. it isn't right the way i let other dictate my emotions. i mean, he hasn't done anything wrong---at all. but why do i think/hope that i can change people...i know that i cannot---i know that people don't change easily. i just pray for the courage to be able to do something about it, or at least say something. i need to...i will...i know i will, but hopefully it will be before i end up getting my heart broken, because i cannot go through that again...i like him...i do...but the ball is in his court...i always let the other person take the ball...