(no subject)
I have never been so scared in my life. There are so many things that I want. Things that I know that I will never have. I have thrown away so many chances, and it isn't fair to even think of another. I don't end up hurting anyone but myself. No one did this to me. I did it to myself. I know that. I accept it. But I can't just move on w/ it. It hurts too much to move on. But I can't hold on to a glimmer of hope that things can or will change, because they won't, and I know that. And most days I'm fine with that. Most days I'm okay. But I can't always be okay with it. There are so many things I wish I could change. I wish that I had a time machine and that I could just go back and fix everything and put it back the way it was supposed to be. But I can't do that, and I can't keep hurting myself either. I want to be better. I want to happy. I want to be like everybody else.