it was in the march of the winter i turned seventeen
ugh. things used to be so good and now they're shit.
i used to get along with my parents. back when they didn't have rules. back when things were better. or maybe i only think they were better because that's my perspective as a kid. but no, i definitely don't remember feeling this shitty all the time. i hate how guilty they make me feel. it makes me want to kill my dad when he tells me not to do the things he does. and then he proceeds to do them in front of me during the conversation.
i hate school for ruining the best times of my life.
and i know what you're thinking. i'm not even complaining about this grounding. i like it, it gives me time alone. i just hate feeling so... restricted. it's just impossible for me. i can't just be trapped like this. all my energy just flows toward negative things. like long ranty livejournal posts. (i'm only posting on livejournal because myspace is broken, so don't get too excited).
gah. all i want to do is go total anarchy. sneak out EVERY night, get into trouble. run away and never come back. but then i think back on how i used to have a good relationship with my parents and it just makes me really sad that i went from everything being virtually perfect to a worse relationship than normal kids have with their parents.
why did any of the stuff that happened have to happen? why can't things just be how they were? back when i still knew you. back when you still knew me. what ever triggered this downward spiral i'm caught in?
i used to get along with my parents. back when they didn't have rules. back when things were better. or maybe i only think they were better because that's my perspective as a kid. but no, i definitely don't remember feeling this shitty all the time. i hate how guilty they make me feel. it makes me want to kill my dad when he tells me not to do the things he does. and then he proceeds to do them in front of me during the conversation.
i hate school for ruining the best times of my life.
and i know what you're thinking. i'm not even complaining about this grounding. i like it, it gives me time alone. i just hate feeling so... restricted. it's just impossible for me. i can't just be trapped like this. all my energy just flows toward negative things. like long ranty livejournal posts. (i'm only posting on livejournal because myspace is broken, so don't get too excited).
gah. all i want to do is go total anarchy. sneak out EVERY night, get into trouble. run away and never come back. but then i think back on how i used to have a good relationship with my parents and it just makes me really sad that i went from everything being virtually perfect to a worse relationship than normal kids have with their parents.
why did any of the stuff that happened have to happen? why can't things just be how they were? back when i still knew you. back when you still knew me. what ever triggered this downward spiral i'm caught in?