haha

[lorrriee]

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards arebestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, is the gloriouswinner:1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot didsomething that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and triedthe trigger again. This time it worked.....And now, the Honorable Mentions: 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cuttingmachine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to hisinsurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. Thechef's claim was approved.3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during ablizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driverfound that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting fromHarare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a freeride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling thestaff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious headwounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received theinjuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptlyprovided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'djust throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window.The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbedher purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was ableto give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back tothe store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand therefor a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a BurgerKing in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said theyweren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived atthe scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home nearspilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tankby mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying thatit was the best laugh he'd ever had.In the interest of bettering humankind, please share these with your friends and family ... unless of course one of these 10 individuals by chance is adistant relative or long lost friend. In that case be glad they are distantand hope they remain lost.
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