Trans Woman's Journey (Justice #11)

[lorrraine]

Hi,

Having come out of the closet, Trans Woman faces a period of adjustment wherein her life rebalances itself as symbolized by Justice.

Comments

[lorrraine]

Hi,

I loved that stage. When people I knew stopped expecting me to play the male role I got a real taste of freedom. I didn't really set out consciously with any strong goals in terms of how much I wanted when. I just set out to live as an out Trans Person and to do the things that I had not given myself permission to do before. Unconsciously my mind had scripts and programming of Womanhood that I did not even recognize and that led me to end up much less androgynous than I originally thought I would. It amazes me when folks refer to Trans Women as becoming Women because we fetishize the idea or trappings of womanhood. Initially I did not set out to become a woman. I never found make up or clothing more than mildly enjoyable, although I will admit that I enjoy shopping for clothing quite a bit. I wanted consciously to live as some sort of completely gender neutral individual, but my subconscious kept tripping me up, which didn't make sense until I realized that not only did almost everyone else see me as a woman no matter how gender neutral I thought I had gotten, but also that the womanhood that I displayed has a lot of little things that I seem to have picked up from my mom without any conscious effort on my part. This led to my coming out again to myself (Strength) as a Woman and not just as Trans, which provides one illustration of how sometimes the cards do play out in a nonstandard order in our lives.

Congratulations of getting your life back together after the economic troubles and on getting your body into a shape that works for you.

Thanks,
Lorrraine

[kara_h]

Actually, I joked with my Mom that it was a good thing I was not a CD as I would get kicked out of the club. I just bought my first silicone falsies recently.

Oh, and yes, my Mom is a TS too. I did not know that when I first met her though.

[lorrraine]

Hi,

I feel reasonably content with the breasts that hormones gave me. I have developed a fondness for neckties since I transitioned. They signify something different when I wear them now than they did the few times I had to wear them before transition. No clothing really counts as cross dressing to me when I wear it. It all just serves as clothing now. I have some personal insecurity with nudity, but that issue stands seperate from clothing strangely enough.

Thanks,
Lorrraine

[kara_h]

My ex-endo had me on a low dosage of hormones when I was pre-op. It was something I suspected, but did not confirm until it was too late to make a difference.

As to neckties: I always did hate the things and was glad when I would never have to wear one again.

[lorrraine]

Hi,

Getting the right hormones means a lot. And that varies from person to person.

I despised neckties before I transitioned, but now I like them. I especially like the weird ones with odd designs or cartoon characters. I own and wear some of the oddest clothing and I wear it in some fairly odd combinations too. Strangely enough on me these things seem to work.

Thanks,
Lorrraine