My week of speaking out

[lorrainemt]

So I did it.  I decided to be bold and speak out at different events this week with my work on changing the food system.  Here is what I learned about me and speaking out:

1. I need a lot of chocolate for strength.
2. yes, it's hard to open myself up to what I'm being drawn to do
3. and it makes me feel vulnerable.
4. which is fantastic
5. because I'm learning that all the blocks I put up about not allowing myself to be vulnerable
6. limit me.
7. I've learned that letting everything hang out and speaking out can make me doubt myself
8. with cutting words like "what do you know?" and "you're stupid"
9. and if I look into those words, I see that it's about protecting a self image
10. that doesn't exist.
11. And protecting myself from the notion that if people think I'm stupid, obnoxious, whatever, they won't love me.
12. And maybe they won't.  
13. But then, does love really come and go?
14. and do I have control over it?
15. or anything for that matter.
16. I'm learning to be open, be open, be open
17. and all the thoughts and fears about that come and go
18. and what's left is the motion of the universe manifesting through me as love.

Thanks for sharing this journey with me.