Fic: Trade Mistakes
Fic: Trade Mistakes
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Peter/Sylar, mentions of others
Summary: Gabriel knows what he wants, but he's not sure he deserves it. On the day of Peter's 32nd birthday, he realizes maybe he should just let things happen.
Warnings: Unbeta'd, some angst, but with a happy ending
Notes: For the Peter/Sylar Advent Calendar 2011! Sorry it's late, I was sort of busy today, what with it being so close to Christmas.
The title and some of themes are from Panic! at the Disco's song "Trade Mistakes", which is just so beautiful and perfect for the boys. Look under the cut for the song to listen while you read.
Through his entire life, Gabriel Gray could always depend on two things. One: That through it all, he could always depend on facts and logic to guide him, and two: Most people, for whatever reason, did not want to touch him. Hell, most people didn't even want to look him in the eyes when they talked to him. He often wondered if it was his tall stature, or how...creepy he often looked when he hadn't shaved for a few days and he was wearing his favorite black coat.
How could he possibly help that the way he looked often had a bearing on the way people treated him? How could he help that before, he was quiet and no one paid attention to him, and then, when he became Sylar, he could command the attention he needed?
But things had changed. He was trying to be better, he was hoping that he could get the attention of the one person who he actually wanted to be with, but...things aren't always that easy. His tendency to get those he cared about killed, sometimes by his own hand and rage, was the hitch in his plan for happiness. Getting a certain EMT's attention wasn't hard; but keeping him alive and well? That would prove to be a challenge.
And so, Gabriel Gray didn't do a damn thing about it. He waited, and waited, and was patient, and soon enough, he saw it. Through careful recollection, he noticed that Peter was almost constantly touching him, looking him in the eye, standing near him, and essentially, spending all his time with him. Peter cared for him and wanted him in his life, but how much longer could such a wonderful feeling last?
Despite his preference for the mind, Gabriel gave in to the heart on one cold winter's day, on Peter's 32nd birthday, after he had given the medic a homemade gift and Peter thanked him by very enthusiastically kissing him full on the mouth. After that, there really was no turning back, they could never really be anything else, could they?
But Gabriel knew, oh did he know, how this story would end. He watches as a weak downpour of snowflakes makes its way down outside, and the way Peter's chest rises and falls in his sleep, and he just wants to reach and out and touch so badly, but instead, he contents himself with watching. In sleep, Peter was so much more peaceful, his features smooth and young again. Gone were the worries that so often plagued him during the day; Instead, in their place was a young man whose heart wasn't at war with the rest of the world. It warmed Gabriel to see the sight, but he still couldn't help the little nagging voice in the back of his head, the one that whispers Peter's too good for you, you don't deserve him...you'll only hurt him... and he shakes his head furiously as if to force the thoughts from his head.
A car alarm blares down below and the spell is broken; Peter shifts and groans, opening his eyes and staring up at Gabriel, and he just fucking smiles and reaches a hand out to him, to pull him closer, and Gabriel is so disgusted at how weak he's being, but he lets it happen.
When they're settled down with the thick comforter pulled up around them, Peter curls his fingers tighter in Gabriel's hair and tries to comfort him, but Gabriel can't settle down.
"You should run far away from me," he says, more of a breath than actual words, and Peter shakes his head lazily and holds on tighter.
"You're not getting rid of me that easy," he drawls back, and the tone of his voice has a slight edge to it, a hidden warning that can only imply how much he truly cares about the other man. Gabriel's traitorous hands come up to rest on Peter's slim hips, pulling him closer, and he sighs.
"I've made a lot of mistakes-"
"-So have I."
Instead of waiting for the taller man to say anything else, Peter cranes his neck up and presses a kiss to his forehead.
"Go to sleep. We have a lot to look forward to tomorrow."
Gabriel nods, weakly, and waits for Peter's eyes to droop shut and his breathing to slow before letting himself lay back against the pillows.
"If I could trade my mistakes to help you, Peter, I would," he whispers, but Peter doesn't seem to hear him, too busy lost in slumber. He lays his head back and waits, knowing he won't be able to sleep tonight, too worried about what will come.
He only hopes that things will get better instead of worse, that his luck will improve, that the world will forgive him for his sins...but he knows to never hold out hope for too long. It never works, and all that comes is pain, and disappointment, and loss.
He pulls Peter tighter to his body and shuts his eyes. Before he even realizes he's dreaming, he's being bombarded with these terrible images, images of Peter bleeding out on cold concrete somewhere, of Emma crying, of burning buildings and scissors and a small toy car-
-He's being shaken awake before the dream can go on, and he realizes, through the confusion of being only half asleep still, that Peter is on his knees on the bed next to him, a strong grip on his arms and a worried look on his face.
"Are you okay?" he asks, and Gabriel stares for another moment before slowly nodding his head yes. The medic doesn't ask what he was dreaming about, opting instead to reach a hand up to brush the taller man's hair out of his eyes.
"It's okay baby, it's okay, I'm here. I'm not leaving you," he murmurs, and for once, Gabriel believes the promise being made to him. He reaches up to wrap his fingers around the hand on his forehead, caressing it softly with his thumb.
"Thank you, Peter," he whispers back, and the man in question just smiles softly and lays back down, pulling the covers back over them. A few minutes later, they're both back to sleep, at least for a few more hours until the sun finishes coming up and they have to get ready to help with some volunteer work, seeing friends- mostly Peter's- and enjoying some old Christmas classics. But until then, there's just the two of them, content to just be together, oblivious to the new beginnings happening all around them.
Outside, the snow continues to fall in swirling tendrils, leaving the world outside covered in pure, untouched whiteness.
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Peter/Sylar, mentions of others
Summary: Gabriel knows what he wants, but he's not sure he deserves it. On the day of Peter's 32nd birthday, he realizes maybe he should just let things happen.
Warnings: Unbeta'd, some angst, but with a happy ending
Notes: For the Peter/Sylar Advent Calendar 2011! Sorry it's late, I was sort of busy today, what with it being so close to Christmas.
The title and some of themes are from Panic! at the Disco's song "Trade Mistakes", which is just so beautiful and perfect for the boys. Look under the cut for the song to listen while you read.
Click to viewThrough his entire life, Gabriel Gray could always depend on two things. One: That through it all, he could always depend on facts and logic to guide him, and two: Most people, for whatever reason, did not want to touch him. Hell, most people didn't even want to look him in the eyes when they talked to him. He often wondered if it was his tall stature, or how...creepy he often looked when he hadn't shaved for a few days and he was wearing his favorite black coat.
How could he possibly help that the way he looked often had a bearing on the way people treated him? How could he help that before, he was quiet and no one paid attention to him, and then, when he became Sylar, he could command the attention he needed?
But things had changed. He was trying to be better, he was hoping that he could get the attention of the one person who he actually wanted to be with, but...things aren't always that easy. His tendency to get those he cared about killed, sometimes by his own hand and rage, was the hitch in his plan for happiness. Getting a certain EMT's attention wasn't hard; but keeping him alive and well? That would prove to be a challenge.
And so, Gabriel Gray didn't do a damn thing about it. He waited, and waited, and was patient, and soon enough, he saw it. Through careful recollection, he noticed that Peter was almost constantly touching him, looking him in the eye, standing near him, and essentially, spending all his time with him. Peter cared for him and wanted him in his life, but how much longer could such a wonderful feeling last?
Despite his preference for the mind, Gabriel gave in to the heart on one cold winter's day, on Peter's 32nd birthday, after he had given the medic a homemade gift and Peter thanked him by very enthusiastically kissing him full on the mouth. After that, there really was no turning back, they could never really be anything else, could they?
But Gabriel knew, oh did he know, how this story would end. He watches as a weak downpour of snowflakes makes its way down outside, and the way Peter's chest rises and falls in his sleep, and he just wants to reach and out and touch so badly, but instead, he contents himself with watching. In sleep, Peter was so much more peaceful, his features smooth and young again. Gone were the worries that so often plagued him during the day; Instead, in their place was a young man whose heart wasn't at war with the rest of the world. It warmed Gabriel to see the sight, but he still couldn't help the little nagging voice in the back of his head, the one that whispers Peter's too good for you, you don't deserve him...you'll only hurt him... and he shakes his head furiously as if to force the thoughts from his head.
A car alarm blares down below and the spell is broken; Peter shifts and groans, opening his eyes and staring up at Gabriel, and he just fucking smiles and reaches a hand out to him, to pull him closer, and Gabriel is so disgusted at how weak he's being, but he lets it happen.
When they're settled down with the thick comforter pulled up around them, Peter curls his fingers tighter in Gabriel's hair and tries to comfort him, but Gabriel can't settle down.
"You should run far away from me," he says, more of a breath than actual words, and Peter shakes his head lazily and holds on tighter.
"You're not getting rid of me that easy," he drawls back, and the tone of his voice has a slight edge to it, a hidden warning that can only imply how much he truly cares about the other man. Gabriel's traitorous hands come up to rest on Peter's slim hips, pulling him closer, and he sighs.
"I've made a lot of mistakes-"
"-So have I."
Instead of waiting for the taller man to say anything else, Peter cranes his neck up and presses a kiss to his forehead.
"Go to sleep. We have a lot to look forward to tomorrow."
Gabriel nods, weakly, and waits for Peter's eyes to droop shut and his breathing to slow before letting himself lay back against the pillows.
"If I could trade my mistakes to help you, Peter, I would," he whispers, but Peter doesn't seem to hear him, too busy lost in slumber. He lays his head back and waits, knowing he won't be able to sleep tonight, too worried about what will come.
He only hopes that things will get better instead of worse, that his luck will improve, that the world will forgive him for his sins...but he knows to never hold out hope for too long. It never works, and all that comes is pain, and disappointment, and loss.
He pulls Peter tighter to his body and shuts his eyes. Before he even realizes he's dreaming, he's being bombarded with these terrible images, images of Peter bleeding out on cold concrete somewhere, of Emma crying, of burning buildings and scissors and a small toy car-
-He's being shaken awake before the dream can go on, and he realizes, through the confusion of being only half asleep still, that Peter is on his knees on the bed next to him, a strong grip on his arms and a worried look on his face.
"Are you okay?" he asks, and Gabriel stares for another moment before slowly nodding his head yes. The medic doesn't ask what he was dreaming about, opting instead to reach a hand up to brush the taller man's hair out of his eyes.
"It's okay baby, it's okay, I'm here. I'm not leaving you," he murmurs, and for once, Gabriel believes the promise being made to him. He reaches up to wrap his fingers around the hand on his forehead, caressing it softly with his thumb.
"Thank you, Peter," he whispers back, and the man in question just smiles softly and lays back down, pulling the covers back over them. A few minutes later, they're both back to sleep, at least for a few more hours until the sun finishes coming up and they have to get ready to help with some volunteer work, seeing friends- mostly Peter's- and enjoying some old Christmas classics. But until then, there's just the two of them, content to just be together, oblivious to the new beginnings happening all around them.
Outside, the snow continues to fall in swirling tendrils, leaving the world outside covered in pure, untouched whiteness.