(no subject)
so, identity crisis, majorly. what keeps making me think that i'm so boring? i have friends...they don't really call anymore, but lately i've just been like "so what?" i don't have a boyfriend, noones really interested in being my boyfriend, but lately i've just been like "so what?" you know what? the problem is that i hate words. i don't like having conversations, i don't like talking to people. words bug me. they take these great ideas and they define them, constrain them. words strangle ideas until they can no longer breathe, until the idea is only half of what you thought of, the great idea becomes something that someone's already come up with, and then, as you speak more, it becomes more and more constrained, it becomes a cliche. but the truth is that you know that before the words defined it that it was something yours, something better, something great. but nonetheless, here i am, trying to describe this great idea i had today in a livejournal, a journal for the world to read. and written down in words, this idea doesn't seem as great as it did when i thought of it. maybe it's our inescapable need to communicate, to share things. it's our need to relate to someone, to feel comfortable, to have a shoulder to cry on in this world. to know that someday when you're sick or old, someone will bring you a bowl of soup because you can't get it yourself because, let's face it, you can't be independent your whole life.