Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day Grandma. R.I.P
It's been just over a month since you passed. It's been so hard. I never realized how much a part of my life you were untill you left. It's so hard, even more so since we were so close. I finaly broke down today since the funeral, realizing it's the first Mother's Day with out you....that I couldn't give you a call this year and tell you I love you. You know me......I'm not one to show my emotions and very few people have seen me cry, but I couldn't hold it in any longer, and everytime I tried to stop, it made it worse. It sucks without you around. It so fucking sucks. It sucks trying to hold it together and pretend like I'm ok.
Watching you pass was a blessing and a burden at the same time. It was a blessing, because I had that heads-up of time to tell you I love you and be with you, but such a burden to sit for days and watch you die. It wasn't easy, but I had to do it. Your grandchildren were your life, and I knew I had to be there for you in your most darkest hour.
I know you're in a better place, and you're probably looking down on me and laughing at me for blubbering like an idiot, lol....and if you were here, you'd comfort me after. I realize now how important family realy is, and what a hole it leaves when they leave. I cry at the most retarded stuff, like you would, lol....like a birth of a friend's baby, or a sick kid or something. It's so what you would have done.
I just hope you're having the time of your life, cancer free in heaven. Know that you are so very missed and loved. I love you.
Lauren
xoxoxox
It's been just over a month since you passed. It's been so hard. I never realized how much a part of my life you were untill you left. It's so hard, even more so since we were so close. I finaly broke down today since the funeral, realizing it's the first Mother's Day with out you....that I couldn't give you a call this year and tell you I love you. You know me......I'm not one to show my emotions and very few people have seen me cry, but I couldn't hold it in any longer, and everytime I tried to stop, it made it worse. It sucks without you around. It so fucking sucks. It sucks trying to hold it together and pretend like I'm ok.
Watching you pass was a blessing and a burden at the same time. It was a blessing, because I had that heads-up of time to tell you I love you and be with you, but such a burden to sit for days and watch you die. It wasn't easy, but I had to do it. Your grandchildren were your life, and I knew I had to be there for you in your most darkest hour.
I know you're in a better place, and you're probably looking down on me and laughing at me for blubbering like an idiot, lol....and if you were here, you'd comfort me after. I realize now how important family realy is, and what a hole it leaves when they leave. I cry at the most retarded stuff, like you would, lol....like a birth of a friend's baby, or a sick kid or something. It's so what you would have done.
I just hope you're having the time of your life, cancer free in heaven. Know that you are so very missed and loved. I love you.
Lauren
xoxoxox