(#1735)
Everything is moving so fast. I'm afraid I won't be able to keep up.
God, I don't know what I'm going to do.
Everything is just so big and ominous and insurmountible (baaaad spelling..). What if I can't move, or I never get my check, or something comes up and I can't get up there and I'm stuck and then what if they throw me out? Where will I go?
I can't just calm down and let it all happen. I can't think about how I'll get through my finals, have the shakes all through graduation, and then pack and move. I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I'm ready to be the grown-up I've been trying to be for the last two months.
It's so hard. No one ever said this was easy, but my GOD, this is SO hard. I'm not even going to be on my own, really - I've still got people making sure I've got somewhere warm and safe to sleep, someone making sure I'm fed. I'll still be living with people and kind of being taken care of when I move to Kitsap.
When I move?
What if I don't?
But where would I go if I didn't?
I'm so confused and scared and... I don't know. Young, I guess. I don't really feel young, but I know when I'm thirty, or forty, or fifty, I'll look back and say, "WOW, was I ever young."
I'm kind of starting to hit an epiphany of sorts, I guess.
It's about time I started using my damn vocabulary.
I have to type something.
Bye.
God, I don't know what I'm going to do.
Everything is just so big and ominous and insurmountible (baaaad spelling..). What if I can't move, or I never get my check, or something comes up and I can't get up there and I'm stuck and then what if they throw me out? Where will I go?
I can't just calm down and let it all happen. I can't think about how I'll get through my finals, have the shakes all through graduation, and then pack and move. I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I'm ready to be the grown-up I've been trying to be for the last two months.
It's so hard. No one ever said this was easy, but my GOD, this is SO hard. I'm not even going to be on my own, really - I've still got people making sure I've got somewhere warm and safe to sleep, someone making sure I'm fed. I'll still be living with people and kind of being taken care of when I move to Kitsap.
When I move?
What if I don't?
But where would I go if I didn't?
I'm so confused and scared and... I don't know. Young, I guess. I don't really feel young, but I know when I'm thirty, or forty, or fifty, I'll look back and say, "WOW, was I ever young."
I'm kind of starting to hit an epiphany of sorts, I guess.
It's about time I started using my damn vocabulary.
I have to type something.
Bye.