Fic: The Four Loves
Title: The Four Loves
Author: Lorien_Eve
Pairing: Harry/Ron
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "The ones who love us never truly leave us."
Warnings: The biggest warning is character death. There is a small bit of implied het, but it's mostly just a misunderstanding between Harry and Ron.
Disclaimer: In my dreams, I own Harry and Ron. In reality, they're J.K. Rowling's. Also, I borrowed the title from the C.S. Lewis book by the same name.
Author's Notes: This was my therapy after reading Half-Blood Prince. Many thanks to Lena for her help, picks and all. ;)
Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley were officially dating. They quickly became the most interesting and envied couple at school. Ginny got her fair share of jealous glares from the other girls. I sent her a few myself, though I don’t think she noticed. She only had eyes for Harry, and any time he was around, which was quite often, Ginny’s world shrank to the size of a quill tip. A quill tip with Harry’s mug on it.
I started spending even more time with Hermione. We had our Head Boy and Girl duties, not to mention our N.E.W.T classes, which took up a lot of our time. It was just as well. I missed Harry like crazy, but I felt like a rickety old third wheel anytime I was around him and Ginny.
Hermione and I got on surprisingly well. Sure, she could be a nag at times, but she meant well. She was always helping me out when I got into trouble, whether it was with homework or cheeky first years who wouldn’t follow orders. Hermione wasn’t Harry, but she would do in a pinch. And I was definitely in a pinch.
****
Busy with his budding romance, Harry seemed to have forgotten about the Horcruxes. Or so I thought. And hoped. I should’ve known him better than that, but he had changed a lot lately and I was beginning to think I never knew him at all. But two weeks after he and Ginny became an item, he hunted Hermione and me down in the library. Ginny was following at his heels like a rat on a leash.
“Hermione, do you know what the next Horcrux is?” he asked.
He didn’t even bother with a greeting, just got right to the point. I thought about being offended, but I wasn’t really mad at him. Well, maybe just a little.
Hermione seemed startled, but set down her quill. “Well, I have an idea, but…”
“C’mon, I really need your help,” he pleaded. “You’ve been right about them so far, and I need to get cracking if I’m ever going to get to Voldemort.”
I flinched at the name, but Hermione didn’t seem to notice. She was silent for a moment as she collected her thoughts.
“Oh, alright, then,” she said. “This one was tricky, definitely the most difficult one so far. I didn’t know for sure until recently, but…I think Tom Riddle’s diary was the Eros Horcrux.”
Harry stared at her. “The diary? But that’s already been destroyed.”
“I know,” said Hermione. “That’s why I wasn’t sure until recently. But it fits, doesn’t it? Eros is romantic love, and Ginny was the one with the diary.”
Ginny was beaming. She looked like Christmas had come early this year. I felt like hexing her, but I was afraid she’d try that bat-bogey curse on me.
At least Harry had the decency to blush. “Er, Hermione, I don’t think-”
I had gotten used to not speaking much during these meetings. I more or less just listened, letting Harry and Hermione trade ideas. But I had to speak up this time. Just to remind everyone that I was still around.
“So that means this Eros rubbish is all about Harry and my little sister?” I tried to keep the venom in my voice to a minimum, but it was bloody well impossible. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want Harry going after another Horcrux. But I wished I’d been the one and not Ginny.
“No, Ron, I don’t think that’s what she’s saying,” said Harry, though he wouldn’t look me in the eye.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying, Harry,” insisted Hermione. “The diary was the Eros Horcrux, only it got destroyed before we knew the significance of it. It makes perfect sense. You and Ginny-”
Harry cut her off. “Er, Hermione, can I talked to you? Alone?”
“Well…okay.” Hermione seemed rather put off, but she gathered up her books and followed Harry out of the room.
Meanwhile, I tried to think of ways to get my sister expelled. Or better, sent to Durmstrang.
****
Hermione showed up in the common room a couple of hours later, but Harry was nowhere to be seen. Probably off with Ginny, doing something I didn’t want to think about. That’s where he always was these days.
“Ron, I have to talk to you.” Hermione grabbed me by the arm and dragged me away from the chess game I had going with Neville.
“What’d you do that for?” I protested, trying to wrench my arm free. “I was winning!”
“You always win at Wizard’s chess. Now shut up for a minute and listen to me.”
I knew Hermione must be serious. She hardly ever told me to shut up. Though I’m sure she felt like it a lot of the time. Before I even had time to look insulted, she started rattling on like those nutter Creevey brothers.
“Harry doesn’t like Ginny. I mean, he likes her, but he doesn’t like her.”
I wished she wouldn’t speak in riddles. She knew I wasn’t the sharpest knife in the dresser. “Hermione, what are you talking about?”
“When he asked her out, he only did it because he thought you and I were-”
“Were what?” My eyes grew as wide as dinner plates.
“Ron!” Hermione threw her hands up in the air, looking thoroughly frustrated with me. “Harry thought you and I were a couple!”
“A what?” I asked, utterly dumbstruck. “Why would he think that? That’s crazy! You and me…”
I had never been the most sensitive bloke, and I guess that just proved it. Small tears welled up in Hermione’s eyes. I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. I hadn’t even realised she felt that way about me.
“Hermione, I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to do, so I patted her on the shoulder. That always seemed to work with my mum. “I didn’t know…”
She sniffed and wiped away the tears. “Of course you didn’t know. You only had eyes for Harry.”
She didn’t sound angry about it, just hurt, and maybe even sympathetic. I had to hand it to her, though. She really was the brightest witch in our year. She’d known about my feelings for Harry even before I did.
“But the Horcrux…” I said suddenly. “You’ve been right about the other ones. If that diary really was the Eros Horcrux, then that means-”
“No, no, you don’t understand,” she interrupted, flapping her hands about like some mad bird. “Think about the other two Horcruxes. They weren’t about Harry’s feelings, they were about others’ feelings. Storge was about his mum’s feelings for him. Philia was about Regulus’s feelings for Sirius.”
Understanding dawned on me like the brightest, hottest sunrise in the history of the world. “So then Eros has to do with Ginny’s feelings for Harry, not Harry’s feelings for her…”
“Exactly.”
I felt like I could kiss her, but I thought that might give her the wrong idea. I hoped to be Harry’s bloke now, and that meant I couldn’t go around kissing girls.
“Thanks, Hermione. For everything. I’ve gotta go find Harry.”
She wiped her cheek with the back of her hand, but still managed to give me a smile. “He’s at the top of the Astronomy Tower, waiting for you.”
****
Even with a broom, I don’t think I could’ve made it to the Astronomy Tower fast enough. I didn’t care about my Head Boy duties tonight. Hermione could hand out detentions to the cheeky first years. Not even the Dung Bomb Squad could spoil my mood. Though I’m sure they’d try, if given the chance.
By the time I climbed the stairs to the top of the tower, I was out of breath and my heart was pounding. I was about to take a step that was a lot bigger than any steps I had taken so far. I had no doubts about my feelings for Harry. I was as sure about them as I was about Gryffindor’s chances for winning the Quidditch Cup. But things were about to change, for both of us, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit nervous.
The moon was full and white, hanging overhead like a giant cotton blossom. Harry was leaning against the parapet, between two telescopes. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he was staring down at his feet. I must’ve startled him because he jumped like a rabbit when I climbed out onto the landing. What, he didn’t think I’d show?
“Hiya, Harry.”
He looked up at me and smiled. He was nervous, I could tell. He shoved his hands in his pockets and shuffled his feet. But he seemed happy, and to me, that was the most important thing.
I put my hand up to the telescope and spun one of the dials. I decided the best place to start was at the beginning. “Hermione told me-”
“I knew she would. Hoped so, anyway.” He grinned up at me through his dark fringe.
“You should’ve said something, mate, really.”
He shrugged. “I didn’t know what to say, or how to say it. It’s silly, I guess, to worry about such a thing. With all this other stuff going on.”
“Nah, not silly,” I whispered. I reached out for the hem of his t-shirt and pulled him to me. I’d been waiting seven years for this.
I’d like to say that we kissed for hours, that we only broke apart when we needed a breath, and that the stars exploded over the castle like fireworks. In reality, it only lasted a few seconds, and though the stars twinkled a bit, they didn’t explode. But it was the best kiss I’d ever had.
He blushed a little when we pulled away, and by the warmth in my cheeks, I knew I was blushing, too.
“’Bout time,” he said. “Do you know how long I’ve been envying Hermione?”
“For about as long as I’ve been envying Ginny?” I asked.
“I only asked her out because-”
I put my hands up to stop him. “I know, I know. But Hermione? Honestly, Harry, I think you’ve been hit by a Bludger one time too many.”
“I think you’re right.” He laughed, and I could feel the vibration of it against my chest. “But it all worked out, didn’t it? Just took a bit.”
From above, the moon lit him up, gave him a pale glow. He looked almost like a ghost. But I could see him, I could feel him. I knew he was real. I knew this was real, and all the charms in the world couldn’t come close to the magic he and I had. I leaned in and kissed him again. I couldn’t help it.
He kissed like he did everything else, with all of his heart. I felt his arms around my neck and his body pressed to mine, and I knew that he’d been wanting me for as long as I’d been wanting him. This time, we really did kiss until we were breathless. My hands grasped for every part of him, and in between kisses, he chanted my name. If I could relive one moment in my life, it would be this night. Now I know why they make Pensives.
I would’ve been happy to stay up there all night, kissing, touching, and maybe even talking. A little. But I hoped I wouldn’t be sleeping alone tonight, and having Harry in my bed was an even better thought than having him here on top of this drab old tower. He seemed to be thinking the same thing.
“We should go back to the dorm,” he said, with a smirk that would’ve rivaled Fred and George.
“Brilliant,” I said.
I kissed him again, just for good measure. Then we took off down the stairs and back into the castle. We’d have to tell Ginny about us tomorrow, but for tonight, Harry and I were the only two people in the world.
****
Harry Potter and Ron Weasley were officially dating. We quickly became the most interesting and envied couple at school. I got my fair share of jealous glares from the girls, though Ginny was responsible for most of them. I hardly noticed. I only had eyes for Harry, and any time he was around, which was always, my world shrank to the size of a quill tip. A quill tip with Harry’s mug on it.
I strutted all around school with my arm around Harry’s shoulder. Or sometimes his waist, depending on who was around. I guess it was my protective nature. That, and the fact that I didn’t want anyone to mistake who he was with. There were two Weasleys in school, but this Weasley had him and the other one didn’t.
The other students accepted our relationship, no questions asked. I had expected a few odd looks, or even some smart comments. I guess I should’ve had more faith in them. Maybe they suspected it all along, so when it actually happened, it didn’t come as a surprise. Malfoy was the only one who gave us any trouble, but I think that was because Harry’s tongue was in my mouth, not his.
My marks took a nosedive, but that didn’t matter. It was nearly the end of the school year, and I knew I’d be able to get by with my earlier marks. School had never been my top priority, and now that Harry and I were dating, it fell off the radar entirely. Why worry with homework when I could be spending time with Harry alone in the dorm? Or the prefect’s bathroom. Or the Room of Requirement. Or any other place, really. We weren’t picky.
I tried to keep my hands off Harry in public, I really did. But it was bloody difficult. He was more of a tease than any girl, finding any possible excuse to bend over and show off his arse. We got caught snogging in the corridors at least once a day, and one evening in the Great Hall, we got caught doing more than snogging. I tried to explain to McGonagall that it was all Harry’s fault, but he gave her that charming smile of his, and she walloped me over the head instead.
The house-elves didn’t bother making Harry’s bed. He never used it anymore. He was in my bed every single night, though we did almost everything except sleep. I owe Flitwick a hamper of cherry syrup and soda for teaching us that Imperturbable charm. I think Neville, Dean, and Seamus owe him one, too.
I won’t even mention Quidditch. Harry riding a broom is a brilliant sight, let me tell you.
As the weeks went by, I realised how much my life had changed. Because of Harry. Because he cared for me in the same way I cared for him, and even though it took us a bit to get together, we were together now. I marveled at my good fortune. I started thinking that maybe someone loaded my drink with Felix Felicis when my back was turned. Good things didn’t happen to the Weasleys, and good things especially didn’t happen to Ron Weasley. But suddenly there I was, with everything I’d ever wanted.
I was happier than I’d ever been. I should’ve known it wouldn’t last.
****
We’d successfully solved the mystery of three Horcruxes. Just one left on the way to You-Know-Who. But that last one had us baffled, even Hermione. Agape was godly love, we knew that, but we didn’t believe in God the way most Muggles did. Wizards either believed in many gods, or no gods at all. So which was it?
“I thought those were just stories made up by some batty old men,” I said to Hermione one afternoon. We’d gathered in the second-floor girls’ bathroom. Not prime property, I know, but we were running out of hiding places.
Hermione was sitting on a sink, swinging her legs. “Most of it is. But there’s scientific fact to support some of it, of course. It’s legend, and there’s always a bit of fact in all legends. It has to be based on something, after all.”
Harry threw a wad of wet tissue at the wall, where it stuck like Hagrid’s porridge. “While you guys debate the existence of God, there’s a madman on the loose who I’m responsible for killing. I could use a bit of help here.”
He began pacing back and forth in front of the stalls. Puddles of water flooded the floor, but I don’t think he noticed or even cared. He’d gotten restless over the past few days, and although I’d done my best to help him relax, the effects were only temporary. Hermione and I watched him. We were worried, but he hated it when people made a fuss over him, so I kept my trap shut.
“Maybe it’s more spiritual, less about God, you know?” said Hermione. “Voldemort wouldn’t believe in any gods. There has to be something else.”
“What about a graveyard?” I suggested in a low voice. I didn’t want to upset Myrtle. “Lots of spirits there.” I began tapping at the puddles with my toe. Harry was still pacing, and it made me nervous. I wished he would sit down.
“I don't think it's a graveyard," said Hermione. She was being nice, I could tell, and not laughing at me for being dense. "It has to be a symbol of love. But what kind of symbol would it be?"
I stared at the water around my feet as I thought. I could see my reflection in the tile. I could see Harry’s, too, passing back and forth in front of me as he paced. It was like looking into a crystal ball. I was rubbish at Divination, but some things were obvious, even to an Inner Eye as blind as mine. Harry and me, together. Just the two of us. But then he passed away, and all I could see was my own reflection.
Hermione snapped her fingers. “Wait a minute, Ron, you may be onto something!”
"What's that?" I wondered if I’d heard her right. My theories were almost always rubbish.
"Not a graveyard, but spirits."
"Huh? Oh, yeah...yeah, that's what I meant." I was such a ruddy liar.
Harry was still pacing, back and forth, back and forth. I reached out to grab him, but almost slipped on the slick floor. We fell together into a stall, but I didn’t mind. I liked it when he was aggressive, and as of yet, we hadn’t fooled around in this bathroom. It would give Myrtle the treat of her life. Or her death, I should say. Too bad Hermione was hanging about.
“Sometimes spirit and soul are interchangeable,” she said. Then she shook her head. “But a spirit couldn't be a Horcrux. Oh, it just doesn't make sense!"
I felt Harry’s body go rigid. The muscles in his back tensed, and even when I tried to rub them loose, he didn’t relax. He stood there like someone who had been Petrified. I kept rubbing his back, his neck, and across his shoulders. He was pressed against me, and it was impossible not to touch him. I wondered if Myrtle was lurking around, sneaking a peek at us. She would’ve been jealous, I’m sure.
Harry jerked back to life so suddenly that he almost knocked me into the toilet. I caught myself just before I took the plunge.
“I think that’s it, Hermione!” he said, pulling away from me and bursting out of the stall. “A spirit can't be a Horcrux...” He started pacing again. Clop, clop, clop through the water. He made me so bloody nervous. “A Horcrux has to be contained. It has to be inside something. A locket, a book, something…” That blank look crept back into his eyes. Then, without a word, he splashed through the puddles and out of the bathroom.
I looked at Hermione. "What was that all about?"
"Well...I'm not sure."
Something was wrong. Hermione was always sure.
Then something occurred to me. I don't know where it came from, but it hit me like a Bludger. I felt a jolt of terror from my throat to my feet. It ran through my body like a current.
“Hermione, you don’t think-”
But she cut me off. She must’ve known what I was thinking. “Don’t be silly, Ron. A person can’t be a Horcrux.”
****
Hermione was wrong. In all the years I had known her, she’d never been wrong about anything. Why, of all things, did she have to be wrong about this?
I took off down the corridor, chasing after Harry. He’d given me the slip twice before, and I’d be damned if he did it again. He had a head start, though, so I had to work to keep up. I cornered him in Gryffindor Tower, upstairs in the dorm. He must’ve known I was following him. He was standing by my bed, facing the doorway, waiting on me.
“What d’you mean, running off like that?” I yelled. I slammed the door as I marched over to him. I was angry with him for shutting me out. Again.
He didn’t answer my question. Dunno if he even heard it.
“I think Voldemort left behind more than one Horcrux that night.” He turned away from me and bowed his head. “I think he murdered my mum for this last Horcrux.”
“You think there were two Horcruxes at Godric’s Hollow?” I asked, a little less angry now. I thought about it for a moment, trying to work it out in my head. This Horcrux business could be bloody confusing.
He spun back around to face me. “It’s me, Ron. I’m the last Horcrux.”
My knees gave way, and I fell back on the bed like someone had pushed me. I could hardly breath. “No, you’re not.” I didn’t believe him. “You’re wrong, Harry. It’s a good theory, but you’re wrong.”
“I’ve thought about it,” he said. “It all fits. Voldemort killed my mum to splice his own soul, then he transferred that part of his soul to me. That’s why I have this scar. He marked me. Remember the prophecy? ‘And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal.’ It’s not from the Avada Kedavra like we all thought.”
I stared out of the window. I didn’t speak. I couldn’t.
Harry went on, though his voice was quieter than before. “It’s like Dumbledore always said. I’ve got powers that Voldemort doesn’t have. Love. And not being afraid to die.”
“Bollocks!” I yelled, leaping to my feet. “I’m not gonna listen to this! If you think for one bloody second that I’m gonna to let you walk out of here alone-”
“I’m not going alone this time. You’re coming with me.”
“Well, it’s about bloody time! You kept running out on me before-no, no, wait a minute! Neither one of us is going anywhere!” I was furious. He’d run out on me all the other times, and now, of all times, he wanted me to go with him?
“I need you, Ron. I can’t do this by myself. Voldemort doesn’t know that I’m the last surviving Horcrux. He’ll come after me, and then…” He was silent for a minute. “I need you to kill him.”
“Me?” I took a deep breath. “Kill Voldemort? Harry, I don’t-”
“There’s no other way. Someone has to do it, and I can’t.”
“I’m not going! I won’t do it!” I crossed my arms in a huff. I could be the most stubborn person on the planet, and Harry was about to witness that first-hand.
But he was more persuasive than I gave him credit for. “You promised. You said you wouldn’t let me do it alone.” He looked up at me with those intense green eyes. “You’re my second, remember?”
And I remembered. But it wasn’t about Quidditch, it was about life. It was about living and dying and saving and destroying. Harry was sacrificing himself to save our world, and he needed me there with him. I’d always felt like I was the one who needed him, but I guess war changes things. It was easy for him to be great. He always was. But now he looked to me to be great. I couldn’t let him down.
I grabbed him and pulled him to me. His chest rose and fell against mine, and when I put my face in his hair, he smelled like me. I smelled my life and my love, and everything that meant anything to me. I smelled the Quidditch pitch and crumpled sheets and seaweed and new parchment and many-scented bubbles and drafty corridors. It all smelled like him. And it all smelled like me.
I had the arms of a Keeper, long and lean, but they still weren’t enough to hold him. He pulled away, leaving a space too big for anyone else to fill. He went over to his trunk, got his invisibility cloak.
He handed it to me. “You wear this. I don’t need it.”
I wouldn’t take it. “Nothing doing, Harry.”
“Look, it’s got to be done. And I’ve got to be the one to do it. So help me out, would you?” He offered me the cloak again.
My hand was shaking, but I took the cloak. Under the folds, I grasped his hand. I wanted to wrap him in the cloak and crawl inside with him. I wanted us to disappear to a world where Dark Lords and heroes didn’t exist. It may have been selfish, but I wanted Harry all to myself. I didn’t want to share him with Voldemort or the Wizarding World or any ruddy girl. I wanted to leave school with him, get a flat with him, work along side him, and when the time came, I wanted to die with him. But I didn’t want to do it yet.
But I couldn’t tell him no. I had promised, after all. Only I didn’t know that promise would be the hardest thing in the world to keep. Harder than anything I’d known up to that point. And harder than anything I’ve known since. Except living without him.
“I thought we had forever,” I said. “You and me. Us.”
But forever wasn’t long enough, and I didn’t feel like we’d even had one day. Seven years I had known him. And loved him. Yet all those years seemed as small as a speck. They went rushing past me, slipping through my fingers and out of my hands.
“I love you, you know that, don’t you?” I asked. “’Cause if you don’t, I’ll keep telling you until you believe it.”
“I know it,” said Harry. He smiled. “Always have. But I don’t mind you telling me again.”
So I told him again. And again. And I kissed him so many times that even Hermione would’ve lost count. I would’ve kept kissing him, too, if he hadn’t stopped me.
“We’ll walk to Hogsmeade, then Disapparate from there.”
I nodded, and shoved the cloak in my pocket. I grabbed his hand and held it tightly. I knew only one of us would come back from this, but I wasn’t letting go until I had to. I loved him beyond the brightest sun and the palest moon and the countless stars in the sky. And in the end, that was all I had left.
Author: Lorien_Eve
Pairing: Harry/Ron
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "The ones who love us never truly leave us."
Warnings: The biggest warning is character death. There is a small bit of implied het, but it's mostly just a misunderstanding between Harry and Ron.
Disclaimer: In my dreams, I own Harry and Ron. In reality, they're J.K. Rowling's. Also, I borrowed the title from the C.S. Lewis book by the same name.
Author's Notes: This was my therapy after reading Half-Blood Prince. Many thanks to Lena for her help, picks and all. ;)
Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley were officially dating. They quickly became the most interesting and envied couple at school. Ginny got her fair share of jealous glares from the other girls. I sent her a few myself, though I don’t think she noticed. She only had eyes for Harry, and any time he was around, which was quite often, Ginny’s world shrank to the size of a quill tip. A quill tip with Harry’s mug on it.
I started spending even more time with Hermione. We had our Head Boy and Girl duties, not to mention our N.E.W.T classes, which took up a lot of our time. It was just as well. I missed Harry like crazy, but I felt like a rickety old third wheel anytime I was around him and Ginny.
Hermione and I got on surprisingly well. Sure, she could be a nag at times, but she meant well. She was always helping me out when I got into trouble, whether it was with homework or cheeky first years who wouldn’t follow orders. Hermione wasn’t Harry, but she would do in a pinch. And I was definitely in a pinch.
****
Busy with his budding romance, Harry seemed to have forgotten about the Horcruxes. Or so I thought. And hoped. I should’ve known him better than that, but he had changed a lot lately and I was beginning to think I never knew him at all. But two weeks after he and Ginny became an item, he hunted Hermione and me down in the library. Ginny was following at his heels like a rat on a leash.
“Hermione, do you know what the next Horcrux is?” he asked.
He didn’t even bother with a greeting, just got right to the point. I thought about being offended, but I wasn’t really mad at him. Well, maybe just a little.
Hermione seemed startled, but set down her quill. “Well, I have an idea, but…”
“C’mon, I really need your help,” he pleaded. “You’ve been right about them so far, and I need to get cracking if I’m ever going to get to Voldemort.”
I flinched at the name, but Hermione didn’t seem to notice. She was silent for a moment as she collected her thoughts.
“Oh, alright, then,” she said. “This one was tricky, definitely the most difficult one so far. I didn’t know for sure until recently, but…I think Tom Riddle’s diary was the Eros Horcrux.”
Harry stared at her. “The diary? But that’s already been destroyed.”
“I know,” said Hermione. “That’s why I wasn’t sure until recently. But it fits, doesn’t it? Eros is romantic love, and Ginny was the one with the diary.”
Ginny was beaming. She looked like Christmas had come early this year. I felt like hexing her, but I was afraid she’d try that bat-bogey curse on me.
At least Harry had the decency to blush. “Er, Hermione, I don’t think-”
I had gotten used to not speaking much during these meetings. I more or less just listened, letting Harry and Hermione trade ideas. But I had to speak up this time. Just to remind everyone that I was still around.
“So that means this Eros rubbish is all about Harry and my little sister?” I tried to keep the venom in my voice to a minimum, but it was bloody well impossible. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want Harry going after another Horcrux. But I wished I’d been the one and not Ginny.
“No, Ron, I don’t think that’s what she’s saying,” said Harry, though he wouldn’t look me in the eye.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying, Harry,” insisted Hermione. “The diary was the Eros Horcrux, only it got destroyed before we knew the significance of it. It makes perfect sense. You and Ginny-”
Harry cut her off. “Er, Hermione, can I talked to you? Alone?”
“Well…okay.” Hermione seemed rather put off, but she gathered up her books and followed Harry out of the room.
Meanwhile, I tried to think of ways to get my sister expelled. Or better, sent to Durmstrang.
****
Hermione showed up in the common room a couple of hours later, but Harry was nowhere to be seen. Probably off with Ginny, doing something I didn’t want to think about. That’s where he always was these days.
“Ron, I have to talk to you.” Hermione grabbed me by the arm and dragged me away from the chess game I had going with Neville.
“What’d you do that for?” I protested, trying to wrench my arm free. “I was winning!”
“You always win at Wizard’s chess. Now shut up for a minute and listen to me.”
I knew Hermione must be serious. She hardly ever told me to shut up. Though I’m sure she felt like it a lot of the time. Before I even had time to look insulted, she started rattling on like those nutter Creevey brothers.
“Harry doesn’t like Ginny. I mean, he likes her, but he doesn’t like her.”
I wished she wouldn’t speak in riddles. She knew I wasn’t the sharpest knife in the dresser. “Hermione, what are you talking about?”
“When he asked her out, he only did it because he thought you and I were-”
“Were what?” My eyes grew as wide as dinner plates.
“Ron!” Hermione threw her hands up in the air, looking thoroughly frustrated with me. “Harry thought you and I were a couple!”
“A what?” I asked, utterly dumbstruck. “Why would he think that? That’s crazy! You and me…”
I had never been the most sensitive bloke, and I guess that just proved it. Small tears welled up in Hermione’s eyes. I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. I hadn’t even realised she felt that way about me.
“Hermione, I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to do, so I patted her on the shoulder. That always seemed to work with my mum. “I didn’t know…”
She sniffed and wiped away the tears. “Of course you didn’t know. You only had eyes for Harry.”
She didn’t sound angry about it, just hurt, and maybe even sympathetic. I had to hand it to her, though. She really was the brightest witch in our year. She’d known about my feelings for Harry even before I did.
“But the Horcrux…” I said suddenly. “You’ve been right about the other ones. If that diary really was the Eros Horcrux, then that means-”
“No, no, you don’t understand,” she interrupted, flapping her hands about like some mad bird. “Think about the other two Horcruxes. They weren’t about Harry’s feelings, they were about others’ feelings. Storge was about his mum’s feelings for him. Philia was about Regulus’s feelings for Sirius.”
Understanding dawned on me like the brightest, hottest sunrise in the history of the world. “So then Eros has to do with Ginny’s feelings for Harry, not Harry’s feelings for her…”
“Exactly.”
I felt like I could kiss her, but I thought that might give her the wrong idea. I hoped to be Harry’s bloke now, and that meant I couldn’t go around kissing girls.
“Thanks, Hermione. For everything. I’ve gotta go find Harry.”
She wiped her cheek with the back of her hand, but still managed to give me a smile. “He’s at the top of the Astronomy Tower, waiting for you.”
****
Even with a broom, I don’t think I could’ve made it to the Astronomy Tower fast enough. I didn’t care about my Head Boy duties tonight. Hermione could hand out detentions to the cheeky first years. Not even the Dung Bomb Squad could spoil my mood. Though I’m sure they’d try, if given the chance.
By the time I climbed the stairs to the top of the tower, I was out of breath and my heart was pounding. I was about to take a step that was a lot bigger than any steps I had taken so far. I had no doubts about my feelings for Harry. I was as sure about them as I was about Gryffindor’s chances for winning the Quidditch Cup. But things were about to change, for both of us, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit nervous.
The moon was full and white, hanging overhead like a giant cotton blossom. Harry was leaning against the parapet, between two telescopes. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he was staring down at his feet. I must’ve startled him because he jumped like a rabbit when I climbed out onto the landing. What, he didn’t think I’d show?
“Hiya, Harry.”
He looked up at me and smiled. He was nervous, I could tell. He shoved his hands in his pockets and shuffled his feet. But he seemed happy, and to me, that was the most important thing.
I put my hand up to the telescope and spun one of the dials. I decided the best place to start was at the beginning. “Hermione told me-”
“I knew she would. Hoped so, anyway.” He grinned up at me through his dark fringe.
“You should’ve said something, mate, really.”
He shrugged. “I didn’t know what to say, or how to say it. It’s silly, I guess, to worry about such a thing. With all this other stuff going on.”
“Nah, not silly,” I whispered. I reached out for the hem of his t-shirt and pulled him to me. I’d been waiting seven years for this.
I’d like to say that we kissed for hours, that we only broke apart when we needed a breath, and that the stars exploded over the castle like fireworks. In reality, it only lasted a few seconds, and though the stars twinkled a bit, they didn’t explode. But it was the best kiss I’d ever had.
He blushed a little when we pulled away, and by the warmth in my cheeks, I knew I was blushing, too.
“’Bout time,” he said. “Do you know how long I’ve been envying Hermione?”
“For about as long as I’ve been envying Ginny?” I asked.
“I only asked her out because-”
I put my hands up to stop him. “I know, I know. But Hermione? Honestly, Harry, I think you’ve been hit by a Bludger one time too many.”
“I think you’re right.” He laughed, and I could feel the vibration of it against my chest. “But it all worked out, didn’t it? Just took a bit.”
From above, the moon lit him up, gave him a pale glow. He looked almost like a ghost. But I could see him, I could feel him. I knew he was real. I knew this was real, and all the charms in the world couldn’t come close to the magic he and I had. I leaned in and kissed him again. I couldn’t help it.
He kissed like he did everything else, with all of his heart. I felt his arms around my neck and his body pressed to mine, and I knew that he’d been wanting me for as long as I’d been wanting him. This time, we really did kiss until we were breathless. My hands grasped for every part of him, and in between kisses, he chanted my name. If I could relive one moment in my life, it would be this night. Now I know why they make Pensives.
I would’ve been happy to stay up there all night, kissing, touching, and maybe even talking. A little. But I hoped I wouldn’t be sleeping alone tonight, and having Harry in my bed was an even better thought than having him here on top of this drab old tower. He seemed to be thinking the same thing.
“We should go back to the dorm,” he said, with a smirk that would’ve rivaled Fred and George.
“Brilliant,” I said.
I kissed him again, just for good measure. Then we took off down the stairs and back into the castle. We’d have to tell Ginny about us tomorrow, but for tonight, Harry and I were the only two people in the world.
****
Harry Potter and Ron Weasley were officially dating. We quickly became the most interesting and envied couple at school. I got my fair share of jealous glares from the girls, though Ginny was responsible for most of them. I hardly noticed. I only had eyes for Harry, and any time he was around, which was always, my world shrank to the size of a quill tip. A quill tip with Harry’s mug on it.
I strutted all around school with my arm around Harry’s shoulder. Or sometimes his waist, depending on who was around. I guess it was my protective nature. That, and the fact that I didn’t want anyone to mistake who he was with. There were two Weasleys in school, but this Weasley had him and the other one didn’t.
The other students accepted our relationship, no questions asked. I had expected a few odd looks, or even some smart comments. I guess I should’ve had more faith in them. Maybe they suspected it all along, so when it actually happened, it didn’t come as a surprise. Malfoy was the only one who gave us any trouble, but I think that was because Harry’s tongue was in my mouth, not his.
My marks took a nosedive, but that didn’t matter. It was nearly the end of the school year, and I knew I’d be able to get by with my earlier marks. School had never been my top priority, and now that Harry and I were dating, it fell off the radar entirely. Why worry with homework when I could be spending time with Harry alone in the dorm? Or the prefect’s bathroom. Or the Room of Requirement. Or any other place, really. We weren’t picky.
I tried to keep my hands off Harry in public, I really did. But it was bloody difficult. He was more of a tease than any girl, finding any possible excuse to bend over and show off his arse. We got caught snogging in the corridors at least once a day, and one evening in the Great Hall, we got caught doing more than snogging. I tried to explain to McGonagall that it was all Harry’s fault, but he gave her that charming smile of his, and she walloped me over the head instead.
The house-elves didn’t bother making Harry’s bed. He never used it anymore. He was in my bed every single night, though we did almost everything except sleep. I owe Flitwick a hamper of cherry syrup and soda for teaching us that Imperturbable charm. I think Neville, Dean, and Seamus owe him one, too.
I won’t even mention Quidditch. Harry riding a broom is a brilliant sight, let me tell you.
As the weeks went by, I realised how much my life had changed. Because of Harry. Because he cared for me in the same way I cared for him, and even though it took us a bit to get together, we were together now. I marveled at my good fortune. I started thinking that maybe someone loaded my drink with Felix Felicis when my back was turned. Good things didn’t happen to the Weasleys, and good things especially didn’t happen to Ron Weasley. But suddenly there I was, with everything I’d ever wanted.
I was happier than I’d ever been. I should’ve known it wouldn’t last.
****
We’d successfully solved the mystery of three Horcruxes. Just one left on the way to You-Know-Who. But that last one had us baffled, even Hermione. Agape was godly love, we knew that, but we didn’t believe in God the way most Muggles did. Wizards either believed in many gods, or no gods at all. So which was it?
“I thought those were just stories made up by some batty old men,” I said to Hermione one afternoon. We’d gathered in the second-floor girls’ bathroom. Not prime property, I know, but we were running out of hiding places.
Hermione was sitting on a sink, swinging her legs. “Most of it is. But there’s scientific fact to support some of it, of course. It’s legend, and there’s always a bit of fact in all legends. It has to be based on something, after all.”
Harry threw a wad of wet tissue at the wall, where it stuck like Hagrid’s porridge. “While you guys debate the existence of God, there’s a madman on the loose who I’m responsible for killing. I could use a bit of help here.”
He began pacing back and forth in front of the stalls. Puddles of water flooded the floor, but I don’t think he noticed or even cared. He’d gotten restless over the past few days, and although I’d done my best to help him relax, the effects were only temporary. Hermione and I watched him. We were worried, but he hated it when people made a fuss over him, so I kept my trap shut.
“Maybe it’s more spiritual, less about God, you know?” said Hermione. “Voldemort wouldn’t believe in any gods. There has to be something else.”
“What about a graveyard?” I suggested in a low voice. I didn’t want to upset Myrtle. “Lots of spirits there.” I began tapping at the puddles with my toe. Harry was still pacing, and it made me nervous. I wished he would sit down.
“I don't think it's a graveyard," said Hermione. She was being nice, I could tell, and not laughing at me for being dense. "It has to be a symbol of love. But what kind of symbol would it be?"
I stared at the water around my feet as I thought. I could see my reflection in the tile. I could see Harry’s, too, passing back and forth in front of me as he paced. It was like looking into a crystal ball. I was rubbish at Divination, but some things were obvious, even to an Inner Eye as blind as mine. Harry and me, together. Just the two of us. But then he passed away, and all I could see was my own reflection.
Hermione snapped her fingers. “Wait a minute, Ron, you may be onto something!”
"What's that?" I wondered if I’d heard her right. My theories were almost always rubbish.
"Not a graveyard, but spirits."
"Huh? Oh, yeah...yeah, that's what I meant." I was such a ruddy liar.
Harry was still pacing, back and forth, back and forth. I reached out to grab him, but almost slipped on the slick floor. We fell together into a stall, but I didn’t mind. I liked it when he was aggressive, and as of yet, we hadn’t fooled around in this bathroom. It would give Myrtle the treat of her life. Or her death, I should say. Too bad Hermione was hanging about.
“Sometimes spirit and soul are interchangeable,” she said. Then she shook her head. “But a spirit couldn't be a Horcrux. Oh, it just doesn't make sense!"
I felt Harry’s body go rigid. The muscles in his back tensed, and even when I tried to rub them loose, he didn’t relax. He stood there like someone who had been Petrified. I kept rubbing his back, his neck, and across his shoulders. He was pressed against me, and it was impossible not to touch him. I wondered if Myrtle was lurking around, sneaking a peek at us. She would’ve been jealous, I’m sure.
Harry jerked back to life so suddenly that he almost knocked me into the toilet. I caught myself just before I took the plunge.
“I think that’s it, Hermione!” he said, pulling away from me and bursting out of the stall. “A spirit can't be a Horcrux...” He started pacing again. Clop, clop, clop through the water. He made me so bloody nervous. “A Horcrux has to be contained. It has to be inside something. A locket, a book, something…” That blank look crept back into his eyes. Then, without a word, he splashed through the puddles and out of the bathroom.
I looked at Hermione. "What was that all about?"
"Well...I'm not sure."
Something was wrong. Hermione was always sure.
Then something occurred to me. I don't know where it came from, but it hit me like a Bludger. I felt a jolt of terror from my throat to my feet. It ran through my body like a current.
“Hermione, you don’t think-”
But she cut me off. She must’ve known what I was thinking. “Don’t be silly, Ron. A person can’t be a Horcrux.”
****
Hermione was wrong. In all the years I had known her, she’d never been wrong about anything. Why, of all things, did she have to be wrong about this?
I took off down the corridor, chasing after Harry. He’d given me the slip twice before, and I’d be damned if he did it again. He had a head start, though, so I had to work to keep up. I cornered him in Gryffindor Tower, upstairs in the dorm. He must’ve known I was following him. He was standing by my bed, facing the doorway, waiting on me.
“What d’you mean, running off like that?” I yelled. I slammed the door as I marched over to him. I was angry with him for shutting me out. Again.
He didn’t answer my question. Dunno if he even heard it.
“I think Voldemort left behind more than one Horcrux that night.” He turned away from me and bowed his head. “I think he murdered my mum for this last Horcrux.”
“You think there were two Horcruxes at Godric’s Hollow?” I asked, a little less angry now. I thought about it for a moment, trying to work it out in my head. This Horcrux business could be bloody confusing.
He spun back around to face me. “It’s me, Ron. I’m the last Horcrux.”
My knees gave way, and I fell back on the bed like someone had pushed me. I could hardly breath. “No, you’re not.” I didn’t believe him. “You’re wrong, Harry. It’s a good theory, but you’re wrong.”
“I’ve thought about it,” he said. “It all fits. Voldemort killed my mum to splice his own soul, then he transferred that part of his soul to me. That’s why I have this scar. He marked me. Remember the prophecy? ‘And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal.’ It’s not from the Avada Kedavra like we all thought.”
I stared out of the window. I didn’t speak. I couldn’t.
Harry went on, though his voice was quieter than before. “It’s like Dumbledore always said. I’ve got powers that Voldemort doesn’t have. Love. And not being afraid to die.”
“Bollocks!” I yelled, leaping to my feet. “I’m not gonna listen to this! If you think for one bloody second that I’m gonna to let you walk out of here alone-”
“I’m not going alone this time. You’re coming with me.”
“Well, it’s about bloody time! You kept running out on me before-no, no, wait a minute! Neither one of us is going anywhere!” I was furious. He’d run out on me all the other times, and now, of all times, he wanted me to go with him?
“I need you, Ron. I can’t do this by myself. Voldemort doesn’t know that I’m the last surviving Horcrux. He’ll come after me, and then…” He was silent for a minute. “I need you to kill him.”
“Me?” I took a deep breath. “Kill Voldemort? Harry, I don’t-”
“There’s no other way. Someone has to do it, and I can’t.”
“I’m not going! I won’t do it!” I crossed my arms in a huff. I could be the most stubborn person on the planet, and Harry was about to witness that first-hand.
But he was more persuasive than I gave him credit for. “You promised. You said you wouldn’t let me do it alone.” He looked up at me with those intense green eyes. “You’re my second, remember?”
And I remembered. But it wasn’t about Quidditch, it was about life. It was about living and dying and saving and destroying. Harry was sacrificing himself to save our world, and he needed me there with him. I’d always felt like I was the one who needed him, but I guess war changes things. It was easy for him to be great. He always was. But now he looked to me to be great. I couldn’t let him down.
I grabbed him and pulled him to me. His chest rose and fell against mine, and when I put my face in his hair, he smelled like me. I smelled my life and my love, and everything that meant anything to me. I smelled the Quidditch pitch and crumpled sheets and seaweed and new parchment and many-scented bubbles and drafty corridors. It all smelled like him. And it all smelled like me.
I had the arms of a Keeper, long and lean, but they still weren’t enough to hold him. He pulled away, leaving a space too big for anyone else to fill. He went over to his trunk, got his invisibility cloak.
He handed it to me. “You wear this. I don’t need it.”
I wouldn’t take it. “Nothing doing, Harry.”
“Look, it’s got to be done. And I’ve got to be the one to do it. So help me out, would you?” He offered me the cloak again.
My hand was shaking, but I took the cloak. Under the folds, I grasped his hand. I wanted to wrap him in the cloak and crawl inside with him. I wanted us to disappear to a world where Dark Lords and heroes didn’t exist. It may have been selfish, but I wanted Harry all to myself. I didn’t want to share him with Voldemort or the Wizarding World or any ruddy girl. I wanted to leave school with him, get a flat with him, work along side him, and when the time came, I wanted to die with him. But I didn’t want to do it yet.
But I couldn’t tell him no. I had promised, after all. Only I didn’t know that promise would be the hardest thing in the world to keep. Harder than anything I’d known up to that point. And harder than anything I’ve known since. Except living without him.
“I thought we had forever,” I said. “You and me. Us.”
But forever wasn’t long enough, and I didn’t feel like we’d even had one day. Seven years I had known him. And loved him. Yet all those years seemed as small as a speck. They went rushing past me, slipping through my fingers and out of my hands.
“I love you, you know that, don’t you?” I asked. “’Cause if you don’t, I’ll keep telling you until you believe it.”
“I know it,” said Harry. He smiled. “Always have. But I don’t mind you telling me again.”
So I told him again. And again. And I kissed him so many times that even Hermione would’ve lost count. I would’ve kept kissing him, too, if he hadn’t stopped me.
“We’ll walk to Hogsmeade, then Disapparate from there.”
I nodded, and shoved the cloak in my pocket. I grabbed his hand and held it tightly. I knew only one of us would come back from this, but I wasn’t letting go until I had to. I loved him beyond the brightest sun and the palest moon and the countless stars in the sky. And in the end, that was all I had left.