balancing act
I'm sick and I'm in a rambling mood. I came to work despite running a slight fever because work has been crazy. But home life is crazy, too, and most days seem too short to fit in everything I want to do and have to do. LJ has been much neglected as I try to get in my exercise classes, take care of family obligations, hire a new secretary here at work and make time for friends, too.
They say it's all about balance, don't they?
When I went out with a friend this week, she brought me the latest pile of newsclips her mother had sent to her. One was entitled, "Are You a Human Being?" and talks about meditation and making time to just "be," instead of making ourselves "human doings." This columnist decries our "goal-oriented society" and the list-making people do.
But Rich and I have found the opposite to be a problem, too. We've never set a lot of goals for ourselves. I'd like to say that was because we were busy meditating on higher matters, but it's not true. I mean, we both believe in enjoying life and seizing the day. But the lack of long-term planning comes from laziness and lack of focus. And we find ourselves at age 49 with no clear idea of where we want to be next year, five years from now, or even a few months from now.
Appalling as it would be to columnist-know-it-all, I have a "to do" list in my purse covering things I need to do at home each night and menu plans for the week ahead. I have lists of books I want to check out of the library and people I need to call or visit. I even have some goals, though I don't need to write those down (staying alive; being able to travel this summer; paying off credit cards).
But Rich and I are sadly lacking in measurable goals that we've set together. We've drifted through the years, saying things like "we'll have kids someday" or "we'll go there soon." When I think about how little we've planned, I'm amazed at what we've managed to accomplish. But we both believe we could have done more.
Then again, I'm very happy. Is that balance? I'm not sure I believe that ambition is the enemy of happiness. Setting goals doesn't have to equate to discontent with what you have. If you don't set any goals, you may wind up going nowhere. Then again, you can plan whatever you wish, and life may still take you in a completely different direction.
I think the only balance I understand is being wishy-washy.
I've been going to a Chinese doctor for acupuncture treatments and to get herbal teas they mix up for me. It isn't that I believe the Chinese have a cure for cancer; more that I'm hoping I can improve my immune system, enabling my body to fight the cancer more effectively. I mean, the chemo treatments I've received actually can work; some people go into remission. Why them and not me? The drugs are the same, so what's different is how my body is reacting.
I do qi gong at work every day, I dose myself with goldenseal tinctures, I drink my tea (which Rich calls "dirt tea" and yes, he tasted it) morning and evening. And I listen to my Chinese doctor when she talks to me about balance. She actually advised me to stop drinking so much water, which no one has *ever* told me before. But Chinese medicine seems big on balance, and you can get too much of even a good thing. She doesn't advise me to eat only brown rice, or only vegetables. Moderation in everything, advice I might have gotten from my Grandma Sadie, seems to be the theme.
I didn't tell Dr. Mei Ling about the qi gong, but she gave me three exercises and told me to do them every day -- and all three are part of a standard qi gong workout. I know, that's serendipity, not balance. But still.
I'm trying to keep up with my friends here, but I'm doing a lousy job of it and mostly lurking. Even if I'm too rude to be telling you, please know that you all brighten my day whenever I can make it over to LJ.
They say it's all about balance, don't they?
When I went out with a friend this week, she brought me the latest pile of newsclips her mother had sent to her. One was entitled, "Are You a Human Being?" and talks about meditation and making time to just "be," instead of making ourselves "human doings." This columnist decries our "goal-oriented society" and the list-making people do.
But Rich and I have found the opposite to be a problem, too. We've never set a lot of goals for ourselves. I'd like to say that was because we were busy meditating on higher matters, but it's not true. I mean, we both believe in enjoying life and seizing the day. But the lack of long-term planning comes from laziness and lack of focus. And we find ourselves at age 49 with no clear idea of where we want to be next year, five years from now, or even a few months from now.
Appalling as it would be to columnist-know-it-all, I have a "to do" list in my purse covering things I need to do at home each night and menu plans for the week ahead. I have lists of books I want to check out of the library and people I need to call or visit. I even have some goals, though I don't need to write those down (staying alive; being able to travel this summer; paying off credit cards).
But Rich and I are sadly lacking in measurable goals that we've set together. We've drifted through the years, saying things like "we'll have kids someday" or "we'll go there soon." When I think about how little we've planned, I'm amazed at what we've managed to accomplish. But we both believe we could have done more.
Then again, I'm very happy. Is that balance? I'm not sure I believe that ambition is the enemy of happiness. Setting goals doesn't have to equate to discontent with what you have. If you don't set any goals, you may wind up going nowhere. Then again, you can plan whatever you wish, and life may still take you in a completely different direction.
I think the only balance I understand is being wishy-washy.
I've been going to a Chinese doctor for acupuncture treatments and to get herbal teas they mix up for me. It isn't that I believe the Chinese have a cure for cancer; more that I'm hoping I can improve my immune system, enabling my body to fight the cancer more effectively. I mean, the chemo treatments I've received actually can work; some people go into remission. Why them and not me? The drugs are the same, so what's different is how my body is reacting.
I do qi gong at work every day, I dose myself with goldenseal tinctures, I drink my tea (which Rich calls "dirt tea" and yes, he tasted it) morning and evening. And I listen to my Chinese doctor when she talks to me about balance. She actually advised me to stop drinking so much water, which no one has *ever* told me before. But Chinese medicine seems big on balance, and you can get too much of even a good thing. She doesn't advise me to eat only brown rice, or only vegetables. Moderation in everything, advice I might have gotten from my Grandma Sadie, seems to be the theme.
I didn't tell Dr. Mei Ling about the qi gong, but she gave me three exercises and told me to do them every day -- and all three are part of a standard qi gong workout. I know, that's serendipity, not balance. But still.
I'm trying to keep up with my friends here, but I'm doing a lousy job of it and mostly lurking. Even if I'm too rude to be telling you, please know that you all brighten my day whenever I can make it over to LJ.