While I Was Away Chapter 2
A/N: So here is chapter 2. I had said that there would be 3-5 chapters…well, there’s definitely going to be more than 3 and possibly more than 5, so I won’t try to gauge the length anymore. I’m not sure I’m 100% satisfied with this chapter as I was hoping for a bit more dialogue but at the same time, I think the inner thoughts of both House and Wilson are necessary for the story. I wanted to thank everyone for all the wonderful reviews. Between LJ and FF.Net, I received a great deal of them and they were all very encouraging and helpful. I also want to insure all the readers that commented about “Painful Adjustments”, after this story is finished (which won’t be too long), I’m going to go back to ‘PA” and finish it as if my life depends on it. I never meant to leave it hanging and I’m so sorry I have. RL sucked for a long time, but hopefully that’s behind me and I can concentrate again! Enough with the speech, onward to Chapter 2!
Rating: T (pg-13) for sexuality and language. Will eventually be M (NC-17)
Pairings: House/Wilson, Wilson/OMC, Mentions of past House/Cuddy
Warnings: Pre-slash and slash, spoilers for Season 7 and takes place beginning of Season 8
Word count: this chapter 2500
Disclaimer: David Shore owns them not me!! (except for Andrew)
Chapter One here: lorib12.livejournal.com/25742.html
Chapter 2
The apartment at 221B Baker Street was far more dreary and desolate than he could ever remember. The faithful flat that had been his most constant companion, his sanctuary, and even at times, his prison was now just a hole in which to crawl when nothing at all made sense in his life anymore. The dust that had settled on the once pristine baby grand told tales of neglect it had suffered from the year long absence of its owner. Just another item to add to a long list of reminders that House was indeed all alone in the world; not a single soul to tend to his worldly possessions during his unplanned detainment…not even the man he had always depended on. No, his best friend…his only friend; the one person that he truly loved had not only moved on without him, but seemingly now in a romantic relationship with another man.
House always suspected that Wilson had the potential to play on both sides of the gymnasium…hell it had been made quite clear to him the night they first met. The night that a drunken Wilson practically molested him in the younger man’s hotel room when House had escorted him back from a night of heavy drinking to forget the first ex-Mrs. Wilson. The sheer animalistic hunger that Wilson displayed toward his new friend was at the same time scary and amazingly hot. The only way that House could describe what the younger man looked like at the time…he would say, possessed. House was taken by surprise at the aggression that the display held, the bigger surprise however, was his own reaction to it. If House were to be honest with himself…which he rarely was…he’d admit for the few moments that the exchange took place, it was one of the most erotic moments of his life.
It was crystal clear that House had been taken by the younger man from the moment he first laid eyes on him. After twenty years of mixed emotions and denial as to his love and attraction to another man, House finally puzzled out what he truly wanted in his life; the destination that he so desired to meet. He loved his best friend…he was in love with him and knew beyond question that he wanted to spend his life with Wilson, not just as best friends, but also as lovers. The only question that remained in House’s mind just before his release from prison was whether the object of his new epiphany would reciprocate his feelings, or was this just another unrequited love in the older man’s life?
Even though the event happened all those years back and Wilson had some obvious idiosyncrasies that some would find stereotypically gay; House believed that Wilson never acted on the hidden tendencies again. His best friend always followed pro-quo; never one to draw attention to himself: always needing to be the good son, compassionate doctor, and loving husband. It was House’s firm belief that Wilson would never risk the persona that he worked so hard to create and reveal his true self. Of course, Wilson never ceased to surprise him; just as House was ready to take the plunge and confront his friend with his long buried and recently accepted feelings (jail has a way of prioritizing things), he finds Andrew, Wilson’s new….boyfriend? House had to admit to himself, he did not see that coming! That thought brought a sad smile to his face and words reminiscent of a road trip long ago: ‘still not boring’!
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Wilson lay in bed with Andrew snoring softly beside him. His lover sated from the passionate sex that had occurred just after Wilson’s unexpected visitor had left. Wilson needed to forget House again; he needed to remember just why he was with Andrew and not running after his former best friend to declare his undying love. Andrew was everything that Wilson needed in a relationship; everything that he told himself he wanted. Sexy, kind, even tempered, loving, open to discussion. He was everything that House wasn’t…’well except for the sexy part’ Wilson thought to himself. House was indeed very sexy; more so than any other man he’d known but he didn’t posses the other qualities that Wilson was looking for in a lover and partner. Yet there was still an ache in Wilson’s heart, an ache that he knew Andrew wouldn’t be able to repair.
He looked over at his lover’s slumbering body and just sighed and turned his attention to the fascination of his ceiling. He’d become very acquainted with said ceiling in the month that he’d been seeing Andrew. Even though House was out of his life, he could never quite get him out of his thoughts; something he never shared with the man lying next to him. That thought gave a twinge of guilt in Wilson’s conscience.
It’d been easy to deter his thoughts about House during the year the older man had been incarcerated; easy to pretend that the person he secretly loved and longed for over the years was out of his life for good. Wilson had fought a tumultuous inner battle over his love of his best friend and over his own sexuality. Coming to terms with who he truly was didn’t come easy but he’d made it; he was living as an out bi-sexual man; everyone in his life knew that he was with Andrew and for the most part had accepted it. He was happy with the gorgeous man lying next to him; he truly was…really.
‘Why did House have to show up again? Didn’t he get the hint when I had no contact with him over the past year? Why does he have to come and fuck with my life now…why can’t he just let me go? ‘ Wilson answered his own question…’because you don’t want him to.’ Wilson rolled over with his back to the man that he was determined to stay committed to and sighed…’time, that’s all I need to forget House again…just time.’
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House strode into PPTH with the determination to get his old life back. The one before his disastrous relationship with Lisa Cuddy; the one that included medical puzzles, harassing his ducklings, and having lunch every day with his best friend. He needed to know that life could move forward. Yes, he fucked up again, yes he currently didn’t know if he still had a job to go back to, and yes…more than anything, he knew Wilson was very angry with him and that is what hurt him the most. He needed Wilson in his life, if not romantically, then at the very least, as his friend. He didn’t want to screw with another relationship his friend was in, but damnit, Wilson was his not slick talking lover boy’s.
After a meeting with the new Dean of Medicine; Doctor Robert Chase…’what the fuck was that all about, Chase? Really?’ He managed to get his old job back (‘Chase secretly loves me’) with certain conditions of course…something about staying out of legal trouble, no harassing the staff (‘yeah right’), not driving a car through Chase’s apartment, yada yada yada…He scratched getting his job back off of his ‘not fucking my life up anymore’ mental checklist and made his way to the fourth floor.
House swung the door open unceremoniously; reveling in the sound it made as it bounced off of the door jam with a loud thump. Wilson looked up from his desk, catching the older man’s eyes for a brief moment before turning his attention back to the file laid out in front of him.
“What do you want House?” No emotion in the voice, just cold and impersonal. House winced inwardly at the stab in the heart he felt. Of course he’d never show his emotional hand to anyone.
“Well hello to you too. “ The older man made his way across the office to sit down on the couch that he’d frequented many times over the years. “Just wanted to share the good news…I’ll be your neighbor again, Chase gave me my old job back. What’s up with that anyway, what happened with Cuddy and how the hell did Chase get the job?”
The younger man’s heart soared momentarily upon hearing that House was back at the hospital, but sunk just as fast when his brain caught up with the thought. He didn’t want House around, he needed to forget House, not see him every damn day! He decided to stick with the pretense that he didn’t care anymore. He shrugged…”She left, you drove her away and Chase wanted the job. I don’t know all the details and frankly I don’t care, so can you just leave now?”
House looked at his friend with suspicious eyes; the younger man’s body language was not matching the harsh tone of his voice. He decided to push Wilson a bit. “So, you’re playing for the other team now huh?”
“No House, I’m bi, I like to play for both teams and I’m very happy in my relationship with Andrew so just leave it alone.” House got up from the couch and leaned in to look Wilson in the eyes. “Your words say you’re happy but your eyes say; please House…help me.” That said with his hands cupped together and a mock pleading tone. Anger flared up in Wilson and he stood up to be on even ground with his former best friend.
“House, I have no room for you in my life anymore, I don’t want your insanity, your schemes, your uncaring fucking attitude. I’m with Andrew as my lover and as my friend…he’s all I need!” By the time Wilson made it to the end of his tirade, his face was red and had been yelling loud enough for any passersby to hear.
House had expected angry, he’d expected the cold shoulder, but what he didn’t expect was out right denial of a place in the younger man’s life. Was Wilson really that happy with his new squeeze? Did he love him? ‘No! This isn’t how it’s supposed to be!’ House realized that he wanted Wilson to be his lover, not to be with the first guy that flashed a stunning smile and offered a shoulder to cry on. Wilson was his and that’s all there was to it. He loved him; Wilson had to love him back! With all the emotion that built within House he pulled his former friend toward him, practically dragging him over the top of the desk and smashed their lips together. Wilson stood stunned but didn’t pull back; House took that as permission to continue. He had to make Wilson understand that he loved him, he needed him, he wanted him!
Teeth and lips moved in a frantic pace, Wilson had reciprocated and tongues begged for entry. It was harsh, it was powerful, it was full of pure raw emotion: pain and love alike. It was perfect….
“No! House, NO! I don’t want this. You can’t pretend to be gay just to get me to be your friend again. It’s over, I’ve moved on!” House pulled back, or rather was pushed back from the desk and looked bewildered at the man he loved. ‘What does he mean, pretend to be gay? Is he that fucking blind?’
“Wilson, what the fuck? I’m not pretending to be gay just to get you back. Damnit, I love you, can’t you fucking see that?” It was Wilson’s turn to be dumbfounded; did House just say he loved him? No, it’s just a game, just a sick little mind game to get Wilson to come running back into the insanity again.
“House, I don’t know what the hell you’re up to and really, I just don’t have the ambition to care anymore. I don’t know, maybe this is your way of mocking me for coming out, or maybe you think I’ll feel sorry for you and be your friend again. Thing is, I’m done with this…I’m done with you! I’m not going to let you fuck things up with Andrew and myself, he’s what I need, he gives me what I need House, not you. “ Wilson stood; his chin jutted with determination that he didn’t feel, hands on hips, he continued…”House, please leave!”
The older man held Wilson’s stare for a moment too long, he was sure that his former friend could see the naked hurt in his eyes, something that he never showed to anyone, but now he just couldn’t hide it. He was hurt, worse than he’d ever been before. He’d concede this time. He needed to gather his thoughts; he needed to reflect on what the fuck just happened. With a firm nod of his head he turned around and left the younger man’s office with a lot less force than when he’d entered.
Wilson sat back down at his desk; head in hands and began to weep. ‘Damnit House, why did you have to lie and say you loved me, why did you have to kiss me, why did I enjoy it so much? He doesn’t want me that way, he just doesn’t want anyone else to have me, well not this time House, I may not love Andrew like I love you but he at least respects me enough to not mock my feelings.’ While that angry thought lingered in his mind, he picked up the phone to call his lover.
“Hi Andrew…you available for lunch? I was thinking something…private.”
Yes, he’d forget about House…he just had to!
TBC
A/N: Next chapter where going to get to know Andrew a bit, both from Wilson's pov as well as House's. Hope to see you back!