Painful Adjustments part 7
A/N: Don’t throw things please…I’m so so sorry about the delay in this chapter. My RL has been so screwed up the last few weeks and it caused a MAJOR writer’s block. I knew exactly where I wanted to go but couldn’t get it onto the paper. I’m hoping this turned out ok and gets my point across while still being enjoyable to read. Thanks to Hilsonlover at LJ and ShadowCat65 at FF.Net for their words of encouragement to get going again. Anyway, thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!! (Caution-still a bit angsty)
ANYONE KNOW WHY THE LJ CUT ISN'T WORKING?
Fic Rating: Pg-13
Fic Warning: slash, season 6 premier spoiler
Disclaimer: David Shore owns them not me!
Pairing: House/Wilson (mostly) A bit of House/OFC and Wilson/OFC
Sequel to: www.fanfiction.net/s/5240505/1/Tell_Me_You_Will_Understand
Chapters 1-6 found here: www.fanfiction.net/s/5431612/1/Painful_Adjustments
CHAPTER 7
Three days had passed since House kicked Wilson out of his life. They had both made a point to avoid the other at all costs; each for their own reasons. Wilson had spent that agonizing time thinking about the months spent with House after his release from Mayfield; the relationship that he felt was blossoming into something they both would possibly want for the rest of their lives. With each passing hour however, his thoughts turned darker, Wilson became more angry; angry at House, angry at Lydia, at an unborn child that was a victim in this vicious mess, angry at life in general. All he wanted was to feel better; the kind of better that came from a good strong bottle of liquor and a warm body by his side. Needless to say, he wasn’t surprised to wake up on the fourth day next to Nurse Ellen or Sandy, or was it Angela? Wilson didn’t know which, and it really didn’t matter. The feeling of pleasure didn’t last long enough for him to care, and the act itself left him feeling lonelier than he had been before.
Wilson laid in his bed staring at the young petite blond that had been flirting with him since she was assigned to the oncology ward two months prior. House had been a bit jealous of the attention that she showered the handsome oncologist with; an act that always made Wilson feel more wanted by House. It was memories like that which kept Wilson conflicted in his emotions toward their breakup. The memories of their brief time together did not mesh with the reason and suddenness of the way it ended.
His thoughts turned to the night before and the sex that he had with Girl who’s name he couldn’t remember. It was nice, it served its purpose, but it wasn’t fulfilling…not like it was with House. Wilson hadn’t realized until then what an attentive lover House was and how right it felt to be with him. More right than it had ever felt with anyone in the past…even with Amber. He really missed House.
The knock at the door took Wilson by surprise. His bed mate next to him simply stirred but didn’t awaken as Wilson made his way from the bedroom out to see who dare add to his annoyance at this early hour on a Sunday morning. He certainly did not expect to see the person who greeted him.
“House, what are you doing here?”
“I was in the neighborhood?” Wilson’s hand attached to the familiar spot on the back of his neck while he took in House’s demeanor, he looked…hopeful?
“House, why are you really here?” House fidgeted where he stood, discomfort written all through his body.
“You’ve been avoiding me, I just wanted to make sure you were…you know….okay.”
Wilson couldn’t stop the anger that had been building in him since their breakup from pushing through his good guy exterior. “Why the fuck would you care if I’m alright? You left me, remember?” As Wilson spoke Miss Whoever made her presence known.
“James, what are you doing? It’s early, come back to bed.” As she spoke she approached Wilson and leaned on him. Even though Wilson could give two shits about this woman, he couldn’t help to feel a bit vindictive over House dismissing him for Lydia and played her presence up. Wilson put his arm around her and greeted the pretty blond with a warm smile. “You know Doctor House, he just stopped by to say hello and is leaving now.”
A fleeting emotion...hurt perhaps, passed along House’s face before his mask took its place again, but not soon enough for Wilson to miss it. Wilson felt horrible inside for rubbing this in House’s face but the wound his friend had left behind was still too fresh for him to truly care.
“I see it didn’t take you long to move on.”
“Well you know me and as you can see, I’m fine. Go back to your new family House and leave me alone.” With that, Wilson shut the door on a speechless House.
As House made his way to his car, he felt like he’d been sucker punched in the gut. He wasn’t sure what brought him to Wilson’s apartment; he’d been out driving around in an effort to quell his mind and just found himself at his ex-lover’s door. He wasn’t lying when he said that he wanted to make sure the younger man was okay, but maybe a part of him also wanted to see if he made a mistake letting Wilson go.
House knew he shouldn’t put too much stock in Wilson having a woman in his bed so soon after their breakup. After all, it’s how Wilson operated; he needed the comfort. That thought however, wasn’t enough to make it hurt any less seeing the attractive woman wearing Wilson’s robe and being in his arms. Arms that used to be reserved for House, even if it was for only a few short months.
House shook the hurt from his mind and returned to rational thinking. He did the right thing letting Wilson go and seeing him already moving on was proof enough of that; Wilson needed to be loved and cared for, not forced into parenthood with an aging cripple. He realized he also needed to try and move on. He still hadn’t talked to Lydia since their lunch date and they needed to discuss the baby and what that baby… and Lydia would mean to House’s life.
“Lydia, it’s Greg. I’m ready to talk about this now, about….us. Meet me in my office at one o’clock tomorrow.”
*****
Lydia walked into House’s office at one o’clock as instructed but found both his office and the conference room empty. After waiting fifteen minutes, she decided to look for House in the corridor. As she was leaving House’s office she noticed a familiar face heading toward the elevator.
“Doctor Wilson?”
Wilson recognized the voice immediately and slowly pivoted to look at the woman that turned his life upside down. He put on his friendliest smile to greet her; after all, she wasn’t aware of the relationship that he had shared with House until she came along.
“Hello Lydia, what can I do for you?”
“I was supposed to meet Greg in his office twenty minutes ago but he hasn’t shown up yet. I was wondering if maybe you knew where he was.”
More tersely than he intended, he answered. “I have no idea where he is, you would know better than me.”
Lydia picked up on the anger in his voice but didn’t speak of it. She knew from their first meeting in House’s apartment that there was something between the two men; she didn’t know what that something was…at least not yet anyway.
“I’m sorry to bother you Doctor Wilson, I’ll just go wait for him in his office.”
Wilson dropped his head with shame at the small outburst.
“Lydia, I’m sorry for being rude. It’s just been a rough few days and…well, I’m sure House will be there soon. If I see him though I’ll be sure to let him know you’re waiting.”
Lydia studied Wilson’s face and noticed the weariness that sketched his features.
“Thank you.”
Just then House exited the elevator to see Lydia and Wilson.
“Filling her head with all sorts of crazy stories about me Wilson?”
Though House’s tone was in jest, Wilson didn’t miss the underlying edge to his voice. “Wouldn’t dream of it House, just a few minutes alone with you and I’m sure she’ll be able to form her own opinion.”
“Touché my dear boy but as you can clearly see, I’ve already spent more than a few minutes alone with her.” Wilson outwardly flinched at the implications of that remark. He felt maybe he deserved it for flaunting his conquest the morning before but God did it hurt all the same.
“Well if you two will excuse me, I have a patient to see.”
Lydia silently took in the obviously strained banter between the two friends. On the outside, it seemed to be two guys throwing harmless barbs to get a rise out of the other in all good fun, but she could tell there was something hidden in what was transpiring in front of her.
“Thanks again Doctor Wilson. It was nice seeing you.”
“Yeah, see ya Jimmy boy. Me and my baby mama have got things to do.”
Wilson quickly made his exit with a curt nod goodbye. It felt like the hall was closing in on him and his breathing became shallow. He made his way to the nearest men’s room and shut himself in one of the stalls. Why was he feeling this way? Sure he loved House but it was over, they were friends for years before this, it can be that way again, can’t it? Why the hell was this hurting him so God damn much? They spent less than five months together as more than just friends, it’s not like it was a lifetime.
He has Lydia now, he’s obviously happy with her and I’m happy for him. He deserves to have what makes him happy even if that isn’t me. Maybe if I came out when he asked me to, maybe then he would have been more compelled to stay with me instead. It doesn’t matter now; I just need to find a way to be his friend again because the thought of not having him in my life at all is unbearable.
*****
“Have a seat.” Lydia took a seat opposite House in his office and studied the man before speaking.
“Thanks. Um…Doctor Wilson seemed a bit upset just now. Is everything okay with him? You two seemed a little…strained.”
“I think it’s that time of the month; Wilson is like a woman. He gets all weepy, eats chocolate, and cries during stupid ass movies.” House’s words fell just shy of the snark that he intended; it just seemed forced.
“Very funny Greg, I thought he was supposed to be your friend. Maybe you should go talk to him.”
House fidgeted in his chair, discomfort over the current conversation obvious in his features. “Look, I wanted to talk to you about the baby, not about Wilson. Can we do that?”
“Of course, yes…I’m sorry. What do you have on your mind?”
House looked everywhere but at Lydia. He seemed scared, he held the same look when she brought him sheet music to Mayfield and he asked where their relationship was heading before walking out.
“I want to make sure this kid is mine first of all and if it….is, then I want to try and be a father to it. I need to be a father to it.”
Lydia looked thoughtful for a moment, taking what House had just said to her. She was hoping for his participation and she expected the paternity issue to come up.
“What about the person you’re seeing, how does she feel about this…about your decision to be a part of our baby’s life?”
Distress, hurt, sadness…all of the above spread across House’s face, “we broke up a few days ago…it’s for the best.”
“God Greg, I’m so sorry. Was it because of this…because of me?”
House knew that yes it was because of the baby, because of Lydia, because of Wilson’s indecision about his sexuality, about what was best for Wilson’s future. None of those things were something he was willing to share with Lydia.
“It just didn’t work out. People break up all the time, it’s no big deal and I don’t want to discuss it with you.”
Lydia started at the tone of House’s voice but quickly recovered from hearing this part of House; a part that she never saw in Mayfield. She realized for the first time since her arrival, that perhaps there is a great deal she doesn’t know about the father of her unborn child.
“Okay Greg, that’s fine. We don’t need to talk about it.”
“Good. Are you planning on sticking around until the baby is born?” House quickly needed to get his emotions under control and get the topic of conversation back on task.
“Yes, I plan on living in the house until it sells and then getting an apartment closer to Princeton. When my son comes home from Germany at the end of the school semester in May he’ll be staying with me since his father travels so much. I also thought it would allow the baby to be closer to you. “
House nodded his head to that but didn’t say anything.
“I was hoping you could recommend an Ob/Gyn for the remainder of my prenatal care and for delivery.”
“Yeah I’ll get you set up with Doctor Snyder, we’ll set up an appointment for a sonogram to verify the conception date as well. If he requires an amniocentesis then we will do a DNA paternity test at that time, if one isn’t needed then we’ll wait until the baby is born. I don’t want to risk the health of the kid just for that.”
“Thanks for being there for me and for the…baby, it means a great deal to me.”
As Lydia was getting up to leave, assuming the discussion was over, House called her back.
“Lydia, what do you see happening between us…I mean as a couple?”
“I had no expectations. I would be lying if I said I didn’t think about us being together. The short time we had was beautiful but I wasn’t expecting you to want it to continue…especially not after how I left.”
House thought about that for a moment but said nothing more regarding them as more than just…what? He didn’t know.
“I’ll talk to Snyder this afternoon and call you with the appointment times. I want to be at all the appointments…if you won’t allow it then that’s a deal breaker.”
“Of course Greg, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’ll talk to you later.”
With that, Lydia rounded House’s desk and gave him a small kiss on the cheek; nothing romantic, just perhaps a peace offering of sorts. House didn’t respond, just nodded his acknowledgment of her parting words.
After Lydia left, House found himself reflecting alone in his office; the events of the past thirty six hours running through his head. House finding himself on Wilson’s doorstep, finding Wilson in bed with a pretty young woman, Lydia, the baby, Lydia being open to whatever relationship House wants to pursue. God he needed a case, he needed the damn distraction to take his mind off of his fucked up life. When he left Mayfield, he had it all figured out; he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Wilson. He realized how selfish that notion was and how Wilson needed more than he could ever offer. Could he offer Lydia what she needed? Or the baby for that matter? He didn’t love Lydia but he cared enough and she was so much like Wilson. Would it be enough? House smirked at himself. Wilson dated Amber who was my proxy and now I’m thinking about dating his. God we are so fucked up.
TBC
A/N: There you have it, again, I’m so sorry about the delay and I hope you didn’t lose interest because of my slacking. I would love to hear from who’s still out there about what you thought of this chapter’s developments. Thanks so much for reading!!!