SPN Fic: "Help a Sister Out"
I've been inspired by the mini fics over at comment_fic. Yesterday's theme was "bad sex" which then somehow inspired a drabble about Dean getting cursed and turning into a girl.
Title: "Help A Sister Out"
Author: lori_leaf
Genre: Gen (Sam and Girl!Dean)
Rating: R
Summary: Sam had a horrible, terrible, no good week. His older brother Dean had been cursed and was now his younger sister Dean.
Sam had a horrible, terrible, no good week. His older brother Dean had been cursed and was now his younger sister Dean. Or at least Sam assumed he was younger. Somehow Dean as a girl looked younger. Or maybe that's just because his six foot tall brother was currently a full foot shorter then Sam. He was freakin' tiny! Of course that didn't effect Dean's ability to be completely and totally annoying.
Dean had been a girl for a week. An entire week. This was a week of Sam being dragged to clothing stores because nothing fit right and Dean needed to buy clothes... including under-clothes which meant that Sam had to listen to Dean bitch about the uncomfortableness of his underwire and how his thong was riding up more then his ass. Sam needed freakin' brain bleach after that conversation.
A full week of glaring at guys who dared to leer at his sister. A week of Dean forcing him to help tie Dean's hair in a pony tail because "Sam you've always been a girl. Help a sister out." A week of Dean stumbling around like a drunken sailor because apparently girls have a different center of gravity. A week of Dean's awkward revelations about the female body. "I'm more flexible Sam! I can smell better Sam! Look how perky my boobs are Sam! Those girls think you're hot. They were talking about sucking your dick in the bathroom. Dude, girls are dirty."
Just when Sam thought his week couldn't get worse he walked into their hotel room where Dean had locked himself in the bathroom. There were frustrated noises emanating from the thin walls and eventually Sam heard a fist thump against the door and his sibling emerged looking decisively pissed off.
Dean announced, "I can't get off."
"Dean!" Ew. They were not having this conversation. "Can you just... not talk about that?"
Dean repeated, "I can't get off! It's been a fucking week and I can't come. I hear all this bullshit about women and their multiple orgasms and I can't have ONE." He whined, "I just want ONE Sammy!"
Sam sighed because apparently they were having this conversation. "Dude you've had sex with like a billion women, can't you just... I don't know, do whatever it is you do to get them off?"
Dean threw his tiny feminine hands up in the air, "I've tried and it doesn't work The angles all wrong or something!" Dean actually pouted, "I wanna come Sam. Go buy me a vibrator."
"Hell no!"
Dean's lower lip trembled pathetically. "Please? I don't wanna go. People look at me like they wanna eat me or something."
Sam was disgusted, "Dean! They always look at you like that!"
"Yeah, but usually I don't have tiny baby hands to fight them with. I have freakin’ baby hands Sam! How am I supposed to kick someone’s ass when I have a stupid shrunken baby body?"
There was a huge argument about self defense and feminine empowerment that was on the tip of Sam's tongue but honestly, he could see where Dean was coming from. It wasn't that women couldn't defend themselves, but Dean was freaked out to suddenly be 5"5 and 115 lbs.
That is how Sam ended up making a midnight run to X-Mart to buy the ten dollar vibrating egg. His good deed was rewarded by an incredibly awkward amount of noise from the bathroom that Sam desperately tried to block out with a pillow over his head. At around three am Dean finally unlocked the bathroom door and gleefully announced to the darkened room. "Multiple orgasms are not a myth!"
And thus concluded Sam's horrible, terrible, no good week.
Title: "Help A Sister Out"
Author: lori_leaf
Genre: Gen (Sam and Girl!Dean)
Rating: R
Summary: Sam had a horrible, terrible, no good week. His older brother Dean had been cursed and was now his younger sister Dean.
Sam had a horrible, terrible, no good week. His older brother Dean had been cursed and was now his younger sister Dean. Or at least Sam assumed he was younger. Somehow Dean as a girl looked younger. Or maybe that's just because his six foot tall brother was currently a full foot shorter then Sam. He was freakin' tiny! Of course that didn't effect Dean's ability to be completely and totally annoying.
Dean had been a girl for a week. An entire week. This was a week of Sam being dragged to clothing stores because nothing fit right and Dean needed to buy clothes... including under-clothes which meant that Sam had to listen to Dean bitch about the uncomfortableness of his underwire and how his thong was riding up more then his ass. Sam needed freakin' brain bleach after that conversation.
A full week of glaring at guys who dared to leer at his sister. A week of Dean forcing him to help tie Dean's hair in a pony tail because "Sam you've always been a girl. Help a sister out." A week of Dean stumbling around like a drunken sailor because apparently girls have a different center of gravity. A week of Dean's awkward revelations about the female body. "I'm more flexible Sam! I can smell better Sam! Look how perky my boobs are Sam! Those girls think you're hot. They were talking about sucking your dick in the bathroom. Dude, girls are dirty."
Just when Sam thought his week couldn't get worse he walked into their hotel room where Dean had locked himself in the bathroom. There were frustrated noises emanating from the thin walls and eventually Sam heard a fist thump against the door and his sibling emerged looking decisively pissed off.
Dean announced, "I can't get off."
"Dean!" Ew. They were not having this conversation. "Can you just... not talk about that?"
Dean repeated, "I can't get off! It's been a fucking week and I can't come. I hear all this bullshit about women and their multiple orgasms and I can't have ONE." He whined, "I just want ONE Sammy!"
Sam sighed because apparently they were having this conversation. "Dude you've had sex with like a billion women, can't you just... I don't know, do whatever it is you do to get them off?"
Dean threw his tiny feminine hands up in the air, "I've tried and it doesn't work The angles all wrong or something!" Dean actually pouted, "I wanna come Sam. Go buy me a vibrator."
"Hell no!"
Dean's lower lip trembled pathetically. "Please? I don't wanna go. People look at me like they wanna eat me or something."
Sam was disgusted, "Dean! They always look at you like that!"
"Yeah, but usually I don't have tiny baby hands to fight them with. I have freakin’ baby hands Sam! How am I supposed to kick someone’s ass when I have a stupid shrunken baby body?"
There was a huge argument about self defense and feminine empowerment that was on the tip of Sam's tongue but honestly, he could see where Dean was coming from. It wasn't that women couldn't defend themselves, but Dean was freaked out to suddenly be 5"5 and 115 lbs.
That is how Sam ended up making a midnight run to X-Mart to buy the ten dollar vibrating egg. His good deed was rewarded by an incredibly awkward amount of noise from the bathroom that Sam desperately tried to block out with a pillow over his head. At around three am Dean finally unlocked the bathroom door and gleefully announced to the darkened room. "Multiple orgasms are not a myth!"
And thus concluded Sam's horrible, terrible, no good week.