Wow
It's amazing what a little time and perspective will do for a person, isn't it? Looking back through all my old entries, I just have to shake my head. Was this person really me? Was my mindset really like that? Was I always that down and negative on myself?
I used to believe that nothing good could ever come of my life. I'd convinced myself that I could never achieve my dreams, so what was the point in even trying?
Man, was I dumb! I'm way too young to have given up so easily!
I know better now. I'm finally growing up and learning to stand on my own two feet without someone having to hold my hand. I've accepted myself for who I am and I'm not trying to hide it anymore. I've learned to love myself as I am, but I've also learned how to motivate myself to be a better person. I'm slowly starting to take care of myself. I've even taken up running! Sure I'm still slow and get winded easily, but no matter how slow I'm going, I'm still lapping everyone still on the couch!
And, best of all, I've learned the art of patience. I know what I want from life now. But I also know that I can't have it immediately. I have to settle down for awhile and put some real effort into it. Work hard to save up the money I need to go to photography classes. Then work hard to start building up a portfolio that will get me actual paying work.
One way or another, I'm going to do it. Event photography is what I love. What I've always loved. Now I just need to make it work. Will it ever be my full time job? Will I ever be able to make a living off of it? Maybe not. But that doesn't matter. The point is that I'll be doing it at all. Even part time. I even have a plan: work hard and take photography classes, then start doing free photoshoots at local cons and for friends to build up my portfolio. This also gets my name spread around through references and word of mouth. Then, and only then, will I start charging for my services. A moneysink at first, but it's my dream and I'm willing to do that.
I refuse to back down anymore. I may not ever be as confident as I dream, but the fact that I've learned to stand up for myself and have started really taking charge of my life is enough for me.
For now.
I used to believe that nothing good could ever come of my life. I'd convinced myself that I could never achieve my dreams, so what was the point in even trying?
Man, was I dumb! I'm way too young to have given up so easily!
I know better now. I'm finally growing up and learning to stand on my own two feet without someone having to hold my hand. I've accepted myself for who I am and I'm not trying to hide it anymore. I've learned to love myself as I am, but I've also learned how to motivate myself to be a better person. I'm slowly starting to take care of myself. I've even taken up running! Sure I'm still slow and get winded easily, but no matter how slow I'm going, I'm still lapping everyone still on the couch!
And, best of all, I've learned the art of patience. I know what I want from life now. But I also know that I can't have it immediately. I have to settle down for awhile and put some real effort into it. Work hard to save up the money I need to go to photography classes. Then work hard to start building up a portfolio that will get me actual paying work.
One way or another, I'm going to do it. Event photography is what I love. What I've always loved. Now I just need to make it work. Will it ever be my full time job? Will I ever be able to make a living off of it? Maybe not. But that doesn't matter. The point is that I'll be doing it at all. Even part time. I even have a plan: work hard and take photography classes, then start doing free photoshoots at local cons and for friends to build up my portfolio. This also gets my name spread around through references and word of mouth. Then, and only then, will I start charging for my services. A moneysink at first, but it's my dream and I'm willing to do that.
I refuse to back down anymore. I may not ever be as confident as I dream, but the fact that I've learned to stand up for myself and have started really taking charge of my life is enough for me.
For now.