Alcoholic nostalgia
The combination of half a bottle of wine and reading SGA Earth-based "The Return" fanfiction is a potent combination. Which probably means nothing to most of you, but is true nonetheless. In so many of these stories the characters realize that what is important to them maybe isn't what it used to be or what they thought it was all along. It's the people that matter, not so much the big decisions that get agonized over in daily life.
Maybe it's because I'm buzzed and a bit maudlin right now, but that is just...so true. When I think about important events from my past, it's not the choices that seemed so agonizing at the time that stick out - it's the little everyday things with my friends that I miss. What I should major in, or how I did on a test isn't what strikes me when I think of UD, even though a lot of my time there was spent dithering over these so-called "important" choices. No, it's the memories of time spent with people or for causes that stick out. Hanging out on the porch, Spring BreakOuts and retreats, and exploring cities together during band trips - these are the things I miss. The honesty, the connection to other people, the idea that, for a moment, something I said or did had an impact on someone, are all very powerful.
It could just be because these are things that are missing in my life right now though. Maybe if I had a crap job (or no job) I would be thinking about all my academic achievements with a nostalgic tone and remembering how it all came so easy even though I seemed to struggle with it at the time. But somehow, I just don't see that having the same impact.
Of course, right now, I'm also just upset I missed alumni weekend and the friends I never get to connect with all gathered in one place without me. So take it as you will.
Maybe it's because I'm buzzed and a bit maudlin right now, but that is just...so true. When I think about important events from my past, it's not the choices that seemed so agonizing at the time that stick out - it's the little everyday things with my friends that I miss. What I should major in, or how I did on a test isn't what strikes me when I think of UD, even though a lot of my time there was spent dithering over these so-called "important" choices. No, it's the memories of time spent with people or for causes that stick out. Hanging out on the porch, Spring BreakOuts and retreats, and exploring cities together during band trips - these are the things I miss. The honesty, the connection to other people, the idea that, for a moment, something I said or did had an impact on someone, are all very powerful.
It could just be because these are things that are missing in my life right now though. Maybe if I had a crap job (or no job) I would be thinking about all my academic achievements with a nostalgic tone and remembering how it all came so easy even though I seemed to struggle with it at the time. But somehow, I just don't see that having the same impact.
Of course, right now, I'm also just upset I missed alumni weekend and the friends I never get to connect with all gathered in one place without me. So take it as you will.