very important. maybe.
There's a lot of talk thrown around about post-partum depression. Maybe I just think there's a lot of talk thrown around about it because I'm very addicted to this pregnancy thread. Up until recently, I thought that anxiety had just made my normal craziness go into hyperactivehyperdrive. Someone started posting about their issues with dealing with a bad case of PPD and I started finding all that she wrote FAR too familiar. I bet that a lot of moms get it and try to soldier on like I have, and it makes me wish I had gone to my six week checkup and told them I had become so frustrated with everything that the only way to turn the anger/sadness/anxiety off was to cut myself. I wish I hadn't been such a loser and actually told someone about it. Anyone. To compensate and make myself not cut anymore, I let the anger out to play in the open and I don't know how to corral it anymore. After Steve and I get into the house we'll be getting married and I'll be able to go get a checkup for free. I can ask why my period is acting wonky (with negative pregnancy results) and why I'm so quick to go from annoyed to SEETHING BLIND RAGE. I hate fantasizing about how beating the shit out of someone will make me feel more relaxed. This is NOT normal and I am hoping that recognizing that is half the battle.
Someone once told me that insane people keep doing things the same exact way and expect different results. At least I think that's how it went. I don't see myself doing that, and I definitely realize something is off-kilter. I'm hoping that it will right itself once we're in the townhouse and we're building our little life together. If it doesn't, I have the marriage and the subsequent insurance and doctor visits to fall back on.
Tomorrow brings a trip to IKEA with the Krista and I'm hoping a little fresh air and retail therapy will soothe the trouble soul.
Closing has been moved back AGAIN to the 31st. WTF. In a month though, we'll be unpacking and painting and will barely remember the mess it's been trying to get this damn place. Damnit. :)
Someone once told me that insane people keep doing things the same exact way and expect different results. At least I think that's how it went. I don't see myself doing that, and I definitely realize something is off-kilter. I'm hoping that it will right itself once we're in the townhouse and we're building our little life together. If it doesn't, I have the marriage and the subsequent insurance and doctor visits to fall back on.
Tomorrow brings a trip to IKEA with the Krista and I'm hoping a little fresh air and retail therapy will soothe the trouble soul.
Closing has been moved back AGAIN to the 31st. WTF. In a month though, we'll be unpacking and painting and will barely remember the mess it's been trying to get this damn place. Damnit. :)