Drumroll, Please- it's time for more apologies!
Well, the snow has gotten me into a mood to set things straight.
So for all you that I've wronged here goes:
- Hey, Amy- remember when I told you that "there is no Santa Clause" and you cried and cried and cried. Well after that day a week back I've since had a couple of drinks with a jolly old man at the bar. Once I had a few shot's of Red Death in him he told me that he is indeed santa! So, long story short he's the one that came down your chimney last night and exposed himself to you. Sorry, I didn't know that he was a pervert.
- Sorry to "Santa Clause" for sending you into Amy's house where you got the crap beat out of you by her dad.
- I'm sorry, Ms. Jackson- I am for real!
- On a recent trip to see the Constitution the tour guide made the mistake of leaving me alone in the room with it. So just so you all know there have been some changes made. It mostly has to do with farting and people not being allowed to wear spandex anymore unless they are a hot girl. Oh, and there's a part in there that men aren't allowed to wear speedo's to the beach or any public area again. I also changed a few of the amendments, like the old "right to bear arms" is now, "the right to bear boobs anywhere."
- The other day I got up and put my body in motion, apparently this cause a commotion, sorry about that.
- I'd like to apologize to any fans of Sean Paul who were at the recent show I attended. Who knew that I could stop the show by throwing a whiskey bottle at his head! Oh, and sorry about the fifteen stitches you needed, Sean- see you at the court date next month.
- In my recent post, "20 things that your little brother needs to learn now." I told everyone that you should teach him to "roll like a gangsta, so drop him off in the ghetto" apparently there are actual bad people with guns and knives in the ghetto! Sorry to anyone who followed my advice and lost a sibling. I still stick by my suggestion that "all 10 year old's should learn to use a shotgun", though.
- Allyson, sorry about crashing your car the other night- who knew LSD was a bad drug to try to drive on! At least now you can use the bus again.
That's it for now, lovins.
So for all you that I've wronged here goes:
- Hey, Amy- remember when I told you that "there is no Santa Clause" and you cried and cried and cried. Well after that day a week back I've since had a couple of drinks with a jolly old man at the bar. Once I had a few shot's of Red Death in him he told me that he is indeed santa! So, long story short he's the one that came down your chimney last night and exposed himself to you. Sorry, I didn't know that he was a pervert.
- Sorry to "Santa Clause" for sending you into Amy's house where you got the crap beat out of you by her dad.
- I'm sorry, Ms. Jackson- I am for real!
- On a recent trip to see the Constitution the tour guide made the mistake of leaving me alone in the room with it. So just so you all know there have been some changes made. It mostly has to do with farting and people not being allowed to wear spandex anymore unless they are a hot girl. Oh, and there's a part in there that men aren't allowed to wear speedo's to the beach or any public area again. I also changed a few of the amendments, like the old "right to bear arms" is now, "the right to bear boobs anywhere."
- The other day I got up and put my body in motion, apparently this cause a commotion, sorry about that.
- I'd like to apologize to any fans of Sean Paul who were at the recent show I attended. Who knew that I could stop the show by throwing a whiskey bottle at his head! Oh, and sorry about the fifteen stitches you needed, Sean- see you at the court date next month.
- In my recent post, "20 things that your little brother needs to learn now." I told everyone that you should teach him to "roll like a gangsta, so drop him off in the ghetto" apparently there are actual bad people with guns and knives in the ghetto! Sorry to anyone who followed my advice and lost a sibling. I still stick by my suggestion that "all 10 year old's should learn to use a shotgun", though.
- Allyson, sorry about crashing your car the other night- who knew LSD was a bad drug to try to drive on! At least now you can use the bus again.
That's it for now, lovins.