Insights on Love - Repost 10/20/2004
I’m not sure falling in love is the same as love. Falling in love is a mad rush of feelings. I imagine after 10 years of marriage a couple no longer is “in love”, but have replaced the immature “in love” with real love. This real love is a special kind of friendship that simply allows for sexual intimacy.
I hope I never fall in love again, but I would like someone to love. My ideal situation would be to find a girl I am attracted to, I get along with and that shares a common interest in spirituality or meditation, not necessarily Zen, but, some kind of “practice”. Personally I don’t need that much sex to be happy, (or any) as much as I need intimacy.
This person could be my friend without any obligation to marry me, live with me (although that would be nice), to bear me children, or to be my official girlfriend or novia. It would be a "no strings attached policy." We would be best friends and on occasion we could just make out on the couch. This is more then just friends, but, without all the patriarchal gender politics.
As a severely disabled guy the “more then friends”, friend could help me do things that are more intimate then what seems appropriate for a standard friendship. For instance, I need help bathing, and stretching, to keep my muscles from contracting into rigidity (insurance won’t cover it and the local physical therapist charges $50 per 15 minutes). Having an intimate friend around really would make my life more livable, instead of how stressful living alone can be. I could provide a place to live for the person and enough food money to squeak bye feeding two adults. This person could be a college student whose entire paycheck can go to their schooling or other artistic needs. It could be a mutually beneficial arrangement.
I think sex can neither damn you or save you. In order to be happy people must be completely self reliant.
I hope I never fall in love again, but I would like someone to love. My ideal situation would be to find a girl I am attracted to, I get along with and that shares a common interest in spirituality or meditation, not necessarily Zen, but, some kind of “practice”. Personally I don’t need that much sex to be happy, (or any) as much as I need intimacy.
This person could be my friend without any obligation to marry me, live with me (although that would be nice), to bear me children, or to be my official girlfriend or novia. It would be a "no strings attached policy." We would be best friends and on occasion we could just make out on the couch. This is more then just friends, but, without all the patriarchal gender politics.
As a severely disabled guy the “more then friends”, friend could help me do things that are more intimate then what seems appropriate for a standard friendship. For instance, I need help bathing, and stretching, to keep my muscles from contracting into rigidity (insurance won’t cover it and the local physical therapist charges $50 per 15 minutes). Having an intimate friend around really would make my life more livable, instead of how stressful living alone can be. I could provide a place to live for the person and enough food money to squeak bye feeding two adults. This person could be a college student whose entire paycheck can go to their schooling or other artistic needs. It could be a mutually beneficial arrangement.
I think sex can neither damn you or save you. In order to be happy people must be completely self reliant.