Extra! Extra! World Wrestling "Entertainment" makes me need imaginary new words!
As you may recall, I do not think pro wrestling is something intelligent people should like. I accept that some people, maybe even some of you, my beloved and high-brow readership, might enjoy it as a "boy's soap opera" or "intellectual slumming", but I think these people should still be very embarrassed, and should only watch wrestling in closets, blushing furiously. Tonight, in any event, I accidentally had wrestling on the TV for a minute or two, and I am sorry to report that they have reached a new trench of human loathsomeness, a nadir untouched by any atrocity in recorded history. In a move which hearkens to the time when caesars forced lame midgets to hack at each other in the coliseum, WWE has introduced a new character. A retarded guy. They have an actor, pretending to be a retard, pretending to be a wrestler. Since there is no word that expresses this level of wrongness, I have been forced to make one up. And that word is "Ashcroftastic."
I will alert you to other signs of the apocalypse as I continue to notice them with growing concern.
I will alert you to other signs of the apocalypse as I continue to notice them with growing concern.