Here it goes...
I'm going to start on a positive note. I kinda want to write this entry before I begin this hell-driven night. I will not be sleeping... tonight... and probably not tomorrow if I can pull it off (which I doubt... I slept only 1/3 of the needed amount last week and 6 hours on a Saturday night... the only night I have to get sleep back. That's right... My recovery sleep is 6 hours now. Kill me.) ANYWAY, this will come later. First about last night...
She was gorgeous. (I hope I spelt that right.) Absolutly stunning. I really just couldn't take my mind off her all day, and then it was worse all night. I definitely felt like an ass most of the night. I felt like she didn't get enough attention. She deserved so much more. But the dance was decently bad. The DJ killed it, and the food was sub-par. (and I know about food) But the whole night was amazing because I got to be with Charlene. I really realized it yesterday... through the night with her, the long time I had to think about her after getting home at 1 something... and all of today when I was trying to salvage my mind. She really is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. I feel like I want to spend every waking minute around her... and every non waking minute. I know that makes me a psychopathic stalker or something, but seriously... that is what I feel.
But anyway, Charlene, thank you for everything yesterday. And thanks for being so understanding about all my shit right now. You're so awesome.
That made me happy writing about that... I miss her right now just as I'm thinking about writing this... and about what I have to write about next. Ugh... Charlene: My anti-drug. My anti-sleep. My anti-nail-biting. Lol. ;) (Alright I'll stop. ;) )
Anyway, today. so much to do, so little time. I have so much work to still finish... there isn't enough time between now and when I have to wake up to do it all. And here I am, typnig in my LJ. Something to give me happiness before I potentially just get so fed up I jump out my window. (For those of you that don't know, I'm on the second floor.) Cold taco bell isn't great... but that's what I am eating right now. Just please, give me a prayer tonight if you read this. I am probably not going to survive this night. I feel like curling up and crying... I am really unhappy. And worst of all, I have to spend my entire night doing homework. *sigh* This is not what I expected my senior year to be like. I have to work a lot because I have no fucking money... and I have homework up the wazoo and too much stuff to do all the time. Mrs. Keller is like "you're over-extended again". Damnit, sometimes she just doesn't fucking understand. I can't just be like "yeah, let me say fuck it to all my shit and just concentrated on academics." IT'S NOT SO EASY. I don't have any money, none. Few can understand what I'm going through right now. Anyone reading this can't. Anyone in school with me right now can't. You all have it so easy... fuck you guys. I wish I had someone to give me money. Even those of you that work for 'your money'. You guys fucking live in nice houses and had things there for you. ...
Sorry. Venting.
Anyway, now I'm off to start work. I feel like absolute shit, and I hope I don't have to see daylight again. But, that won't happen. 6 hours... I have 6 hours to get what seems to be 10 hours of homework done. *sigh* Someone kill me... please... just end this misery...
She was gorgeous. (I hope I spelt that right.) Absolutly stunning. I really just couldn't take my mind off her all day, and then it was worse all night. I definitely felt like an ass most of the night. I felt like she didn't get enough attention. She deserved so much more. But the dance was decently bad. The DJ killed it, and the food was sub-par. (and I know about food) But the whole night was amazing because I got to be with Charlene. I really realized it yesterday... through the night with her, the long time I had to think about her after getting home at 1 something... and all of today when I was trying to salvage my mind. She really is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. I feel like I want to spend every waking minute around her... and every non waking minute. I know that makes me a psychopathic stalker or something, but seriously... that is what I feel.
But anyway, Charlene, thank you for everything yesterday. And thanks for being so understanding about all my shit right now. You're so awesome.
That made me happy writing about that... I miss her right now just as I'm thinking about writing this... and about what I have to write about next. Ugh... Charlene: My anti-drug. My anti-sleep. My anti-nail-biting. Lol. ;) (Alright I'll stop. ;) )
Anyway, today. so much to do, so little time. I have so much work to still finish... there isn't enough time between now and when I have to wake up to do it all. And here I am, typnig in my LJ. Something to give me happiness before I potentially just get so fed up I jump out my window. (For those of you that don't know, I'm on the second floor.) Cold taco bell isn't great... but that's what I am eating right now. Just please, give me a prayer tonight if you read this. I am probably not going to survive this night. I feel like curling up and crying... I am really unhappy. And worst of all, I have to spend my entire night doing homework. *sigh* This is not what I expected my senior year to be like. I have to work a lot because I have no fucking money... and I have homework up the wazoo and too much stuff to do all the time. Mrs. Keller is like "you're over-extended again". Damnit, sometimes she just doesn't fucking understand. I can't just be like "yeah, let me say fuck it to all my shit and just concentrated on academics." IT'S NOT SO EASY. I don't have any money, none. Few can understand what I'm going through right now. Anyone reading this can't. Anyone in school with me right now can't. You all have it so easy... fuck you guys. I wish I had someone to give me money. Even those of you that work for 'your money'. You guys fucking live in nice houses and had things there for you. ...
Sorry. Venting.
Anyway, now I'm off to start work. I feel like absolute shit, and I hope I don't have to see daylight again. But, that won't happen. 6 hours... I have 6 hours to get what seems to be 10 hours of homework done. *sigh* Someone kill me... please... just end this misery...