*sighs* How many things do I have to break to get you to notice me...
I am such a child sometimes...
This afternoon, after feeling tottally broken with everything that is going on around me I lashed out. One might have said that it was pure isanity, that it was a whim of emotions. That might have been when I just through my pillows against the walls in shear anger. But I noticed how my mother just sat there... I pushed the fridge hard against the wall... I slammed my fist against tables and tossed books across the rooms. All I wanted to see was a reaction... I just wanted to see her try and stop me, ask me why I was doing these things. I wanted to know that she was thinking of me and not herself. But she just sat there, and then left the house all pissed off... Of course I can understand this... I am a horrible child and a horrible person. I hate everything about myself more and more... What does it matter, writing in this damned journal to express myself. To what end, to show everyone out there a side of me I try to hide. Heh, what can I say... I don't fucking care any more. Let the world know what a bastard of a person I am. I'm tired of hiding back just to see people smile and not look down upon me.
I am who I am... and you don't like that...
Goodbye...
This afternoon, after feeling tottally broken with everything that is going on around me I lashed out. One might have said that it was pure isanity, that it was a whim of emotions. That might have been when I just through my pillows against the walls in shear anger. But I noticed how my mother just sat there... I pushed the fridge hard against the wall... I slammed my fist against tables and tossed books across the rooms. All I wanted to see was a reaction... I just wanted to see her try and stop me, ask me why I was doing these things. I wanted to know that she was thinking of me and not herself. But she just sat there, and then left the house all pissed off... Of course I can understand this... I am a horrible child and a horrible person. I hate everything about myself more and more... What does it matter, writing in this damned journal to express myself. To what end, to show everyone out there a side of me I try to hide. Heh, what can I say... I don't fucking care any more. Let the world know what a bastard of a person I am. I'm tired of hiding back just to see people smile and not look down upon me.
I am who I am... and you don't like that...
Goodbye...