Back and Bigger

[__orli__]

Jesus that last guy was lame. I know some guys get off on my voice, but all I did was read the menu from China One and talk about how the food makes my mouth water! Although they do have some kick ass dumplings. Mmmm pan fried dumplings sounds good! Damn now my mouth IS watering.

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[elijah__j__wood]

I am nervous when I turn up to the address I was given. An apartment block, not in a nice area of town, not a nice looking building and certainly not anything Orli should be living in. If it wasn't for the fact I know I can protect myself and/or have help instantly if I needed it I would never have come here alone

[__orli__]

"Lig?"

What - how... oh God. He can't see me like this! I panic and lower my voice, "Uhh... no habla english"

I roll my eyes at myself. Like he's gonna fall for that. I already said his name. Fuck.

My heart aches when I think about him. Once Hayden and I... then Ben... I never thought they'd all desert me, but no one seemed to care. But he's here now...

I clear my throat, "Bloody hell..."

Unlocking the door and sliding the chain off I open the door just a crack and look at him. My heart warms instantly, "Oh Lig."

[elijah__j__wood]

Uhh... no habla english

If it wasn't for the voice I would have questioned my information. My heart sinks a fraction. He does not want to see me. For a brief second I consider going into his head but then stop myself. I will not use my powers on my friends, that is not fair to them.

Then I hear him curse and the sounds of the door being unlocked, a chain, then a gap and then his eyes appearing in it.

Oh Lig.

My heart swells and I have trouble containing it but the fact the door wasn't opened wide in welcome drags it back down. "Orli?!"

[__orli__]

I sigh and look away. This is why I didn't want to see any of them. I muster up a smile and look at him, "Yeah, it's me. Bigger than life.. so to say."

I take this as part of my punishment and open the door so he can see ALL of me. My heart breaks knowing he will be shocked. I can't look at him, the disgust in his eyes. It's hard enough to see it in mine when I make the mistake and look at my reflection.

[elijah__j__wood]

He opens the door and oh god my heart hurts so painfully when I see what Ben did to him. But then those eyes I saw in the crack of the door shine bright in my mind, that is my Orli. This broken person I see in front of me, that's my Orli too. One and the same.

I ignore the fact he is obviously ashamed and can't look at me. It does not stop me from wrapping my arms around his neck and just about strangling him in a hug. I squeeze him so damn tight. "Fuck I've missed you!"

[__orli__]

My first reaction is fear, but it's only a fraction of a second before I feel the warmth and true caring coming from his genuine hug. God it's been so long since I've felt this...

I wrap my arms around him and choke back a sob. Burying my face in his neck I squeeze him tight, "Fuck Lig...I've just fallen to shite."

He smells clean and sweet with the hint of clove. Fuck I've missed him too. Missed feeling cared about. I'm so ashamed of how I look, how I live, but I for as much as I wanted him to go away I don't want to let go now.

[elijah__j__wood]

I smile so big at that word. Shite. Billy infected us all with it. The Billy before all the bad stuff.

I pull back and take his face in my hands and look at him. I see the same insecure Orli that has always been there, maybe a bit more insecure than usual. "You're never shite Orli, not to me." I put my hand on his chest. "I know what is in here. The rest is just superficial crap."

[__orli__]

I feel the tears fall from my lashes and I give him a small smile, "Oh Lij... I hope Rhys knows what a treasure you are."

Pulling him back to me I hold him. I often wondered if he and I could ever have had a chance. But I know his love for Rhys is so strong, so unbelievable frighteningly strong I could never have held on to him.

To be loved like that much be heaven.

[elijah__j__wood]

I sigh as I hold him back just as tightly. "Nothing is ever that perfect." It's been so many years. Obviously Orli does not know about the break up.

I do not want to let him go just yet and I snuggle my face into his neck. "Things can be worked out though Orli, for the better." I stroke my hand over the back of his head. "I'm really sorry I wasn't there for you."

[__orli__]

I shrug with one shoulder and sniffle, "Ben would have only hurt you too. At least I got away from him for good now."

The neighbor comes out of his place and gives a glare. I have laugh half sob, "How 'bout we close the door?"

Letting go of him I push the door shut, but the door is so swollen I have to put both my hands on it and shove it hard to get it to close. I turn around and look at Lij, "Not exactly the Taj Mahal."

As if on que we hear gunshots, screams, then arguing. I jump and grab Lij and move behind him quickly. He barely covers me, some friend I am. I could block two of him.

[elijah__j__wood]

I want to tell Orli that he does not have to worry about his safety around me but that is one secret I am not sure he is ready for just yet. Still I step away from him and turn to look at him. "The gunshot was out there Orli, not in here."

I look around his apartment and it's a testament to the state of him at the moment. I'm not sure if he will take my help but I can not help but to offer it. "You know Orli... you can come stay with me and Rhys, you don't have to stay here." I look at him. "This place, it's not you.."

[__orli__]

I smile at him, "Same Lij, always the protector."

I hug him again, "Unfortunately it is me at the moment."

Pulling back I cup his face then let my hand fall, "Thanks Lij, but... I am just not ready to see - well anyone. And Rhys... is just one step from Hayden."

Biting my lower lip my heart aches at the thought of what I once had, "H-how is Hayden?"

[elijah__j__wood]

I'm not happy with him staying here and I will not give up on finding a solution to getting him out of this place. This place is depressing and to give him more bad news isn't what I really want to do but he wants to know about Hayden, what am I supposed to say, I can't lie to him. Either way I don't think any news of Hayden will make him feel any better.

I sigh softly and move to sit on the small sofa. I have to move some empty takeaway containers to sit but I try to not make a big deal of it, just push them aside. I look up at him. "Hayden is not doing so good. He's taken to drinking, a lot. He's not happy Orli... not as bad as Shox got after Craig but heading that way."

[__orli__]

I frown as my heart breaks - again for Hayden. He broke up because he couldn't handle the pressure from his family and himself. He couldn't see past being gay to see our love.

"He brought it on himself. We all have our addictions to deal with now."

I know it sounds callous and I willingly went back to Ben, but if Hayden had been able to deal with us... well I'd not be here for sure. My phone rings and I look at it with a bit of panic. I don't Lig to know what I'm doing for money.

Moving to the table I just unplug it and turn around, "I've got to get back to work Lig... I'm sorry you came down to this part of town for such a short visit. Maybe I should walk you to your car."

[elijah__j__wood]

I eye the phone then look back at him. Talking about Hayden was too much for him and now he obviously has something else he wants to hide from me. Something to do with his job, and the phone. I could easily get the answer my own special way but I would prefer if Orli was truthful to me. After what I have been through nothing he tells me could honestly bother me. I would think no less of him.

I don't stand up, just stay sitting. "I could drop you at work if you want..."

[__orli__]

I shake my head, "No it's ok... it's not far from here."

To make a show of it I grab my jacket and slip on some shoes. I hate lying to him, but he's already seen me I can't take anymore pity.