What The Heart Wants

[4l1s0n]

Why must we fight? We have so much in common, maybe that's it. But I don't want to fight him. I want to get to know him, learn all about him, help him learn to read and write. He thinks he is so smooth, but I know his secret and I want to help him before the others find out as well.

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[4l1s0n]

I take his jacket and cover myself careful not to get it soiled, but I'm a mess and it's gets dirty anyway.

"Yes, my Lord. Thank you."

They walk off and Lord Ash turns and winks, "Nice begging by the way!"

I close my eyes and hang my head to the sound of his laughter. Fuck. Going back into the den I grab our clothing and head to my quarters to get cleaned up.

I don't regret what happened. I'm pissed as fuck at Marcel, but I don't regret it. It was fucking good - and, and right! We fight and it may look like we hate each other, but - well I don't.

Actually I have alot of respect for Marcel but he is just so fucking intense and has this HUGE chip on his fucking shoulder. I rinse off and stand there drying off trying to think of how the hell I can fix this. And without a fight!

I pull on some white linen pants and a royal blue linen shirt not even bothering to button it then head over to Marcel's quarters. Fuck I hope he is there.

Standing outside his door I again try to think of something but I was never good at making plans so I just knock and figure I'll just go with it.

"Marcel, come on open up. Don't be stupid!"

Nice going there Ali.

[m4rc3l_c]

I get to my room and I pace around, I feel cornered, trapped, like I can't breath. I grab some clothes but then realise I am covered in blood so I get into the shower.

The water would normally soothe me, relax me but it doesn't this time. I feel like I am suffocating. I lean against the wall with my head back and let the water run over me. Why did this have to happen, now he knows everything about me, every damn thing. I feel so vulnerable and exposed. All my secrets, how stupid I am, how unwanted.

I slip down till I am sitting on the floor of the shower and bring my knees up then rest my arms across them and bury my face in them. I so wanted to belong here. Wanted to be a part of something. But I'm never good enough. I can never fit in.

Now Alison. He's always putting me down and fighting with me and now this. He's won and my life is going to be even more miserable. I can't take it anymore. Worse, I actually like him. But he's from the street and it's survival of the fittest and no different in here. I just don't cut it.

I sit under the water with all my useless thoughts running through my head wishing I could just wash away down the drain.

[4l1s0n]

Fucktard won't even talk through the damn door!

I grab the knob and turn it prepared to push it off it's fucking hinges, but it's unlocked. Wow, he is upset if he forgot to lock it. I hear the shower running and sit on his bed waiting for him.

My mind drifts and I start to go through his blood memories. Really nothing there I didn't already know or suspect. He is a bit of a softy actually. I smile at that and rather like that only I know that. Well me and Lords Edward and Ash.

Hmmm, he likes me. I touch my face and feel the heat, fuck I'm blushing! I shake my head and laugh at myself. I frown though when the shower continues to run. Standing I walk into his bathroom to check on him.

Grabbing one of the lush towels on his stand before I turn I stop in my tracks when I see him. I don't want him to hurt.

"You know you and I are alot alike Marcel. And I think this family is damn lucky to have us both."

I swear if he throws the soap at me it is on!

[m4rc3l_c]

I hear him come in and I'm just going to take whatever he throws at me. I'm sick of fighting. I've had enough.

You know you and I are alot alike Marcel. And I think this family is damn lucky to have us both.

Fuck what ploy is he playing at now? What is this suddenly be nice to Marcel day or something. I lift my head enough to look at him from out under all my wet hair. I eye him warily. "Oh really, and how is that exactly Alison? Because from where I see it. Actually I don't see it."

I wave at him with my hand. "You're..." I'm not about to admit he is smart dammit but he is. "You fit in." I look up at him all the way. "I don't. It's simple." Cause I'm not educated or classy. I'm dumb. And I'm not about to say that to him because he already knows and he will just rub it in my face.

[4l1s0n]

I frown at him sitting there having a little pity party for himself. THAT is not him!

I throw the towel at him, fuck it let it get soaked! "If I'd known this is what sex did to you, I would have resisted! I'd rather smash your face in then listen to you whine!"

Stepping closer, I growl at him, "You've never backed down from anything! I've watched you fight some of the biggest and baddest with full confidence! I've watched you seduce some of the most powerful only to see if you could - and you did!"

I'm right at the shower now looking down at him, "You were accepted by your taste into the most powerful and respected clans and yet you still have the audacity to whine about not fitting in!?"

Reaching into the shower I grab the soap and throw it at him, "You think Quinton could navigate the back streets like you? Do you think Michael has contacts in the seedier side of town?! So the fuck what if you don't play chess, wear Armani or read Tchaikovsky!? When it comes down to what this clan is about I, and everyone else in this family needs YOU by their side! And that NEED is what makes you fit in!"

[m4rc3l_c]

The soap hits me and bounces off landing in the water with a splash. His words just make me angry and I didn't want to get fucking angry but he pushed.

I stand up bringing my hands up and shove him hard in the chest. He doesn't fall but staggers back a bit and I get up in his face pushing him back into the wall behind him. "Oh so it's what everyone else needs from me is it that makes me fit in, that's what you think!"

I sneer at him. "Just because you know shit from my blood doesn't mean you know me. Maybe I want to fucking play chess or read chai.." I can't remember the shitting fucking name. "Whoever the fuck you said! You ever think of that?! No you didn't cause you can do all that shit if you want!"

I snarl at him. "I can't can I, you know that don't you?! Maybe I'm sick of being the dumb fucking grunt everyone looks down on! So fuck off Alison, you don't know shit!"

I give him one final shove then turn and storm out into my room, grabbing my clothes off the chair.

[4l1s0n]

Well that's better I suppose.

Going after him I can't help but admire his bare ass. I smile at the scratches on his back knowing I put them there.

He's trying to get his pants on, but I walk up behind him and push him forward causing him to fall onto his bed, "Well fuck-tard since I do know you shouldn't have a problem asking me for help! I'll fucking teach you how to play chess, read and write!

Fuck we will get Michael to teach us about fine wine and Quinton to teach us about wearing expensive clothes!"

I rip off my shirt feeling my cock fill as my eyes roam over his body. I'm gonna make it clear what I want right now! I throw my shirt at him, "From what I understand that is what family does! So until you ask for it, nobody even fucking knows what the fuck you want!"

[m4rc3l_c]

I eye him and grab his shirt, if he thinks this is gonna lead to another fuck he is very mistaken. I stand back up and throw the shirt back at him. "Oh yeah so fucking easy, just ask for help." I look at him like he is a moron. "Like I've never thought of that one before."

I take the couple of steps to get up in his face again. "I can't learn alright!" I step back and hold my hands out like wow here I am look at me. "I'm stupid! You happy now Alison. I can't even write my own fucking name. That what you wanted to hear!"