A Cry In The Night

[innocentpaul]

I sit on the bed out on the terrace as I wait for Gaspard to join me. I am curious as to what business this Detective and that angel have with him, but I trust if I must know Gaspard will tell me.

Comments

[g_a_s_p_a_r_d]

After I have dealt with Michael and delivered my message to the rest of them I fly back to my house. My home for so long which it can no longer be. Now I have to deal with Paul.

My anger tells me he had to have known about this. How could he not. He is still part Angel. That fact still boils my blood. He would know!

I drop down in form and sit perched on the railing listening to the waves behind me. My heart tells me that what that Angel said can not be true, surely, it can't. How could I have not seen it. But then I didn't see Michael's scheming either. My heart stirs my brain trying to convince me that I would have seen it in his blood if he knew but then my mind counters with the fact he is Angel. Could he have concealed it from me? Possibly

[innocentpaul]

It's been some time since he left so I have taken a shower, changed into the flowing robe he loves on me and waited in our bed. I want to lavish him with love when he returns. The thought of him killing, the look in his eyes, the power.... I want him so much!

When I hear him holler for me, I sense anger. He is still so worked up. I run to him. The wind from the over the water blowing my hair back and my satin blue robe swirling around my feet.

But when I see his eyes, I stop and feel my heart ache. This anger - it is ... for me. Taking a tentative step toward him I ask, "Gaspard, my love... what is wrong?"

[g_a_s_p_a_r_d]

My heart aches when he comes out. He looks so beautiful. I could almost believe that our love is real. But then when I look at him I am reminded of Michael and my rage simmmers once again.

He doesn't come straight to me he stops taking a small step then stopping once again.

Gaspard, my love... what is wrong?

I stalk over and circle him keeping my eyes on his, watching him closely, then stop just behind him and sneer. "Can't you smell his blood on me?!"

[innocentpaul]

I breath in deeply and I do smell blood but I can not identify it. It is neither the detective or angels. It has the heady aroma of an angel but much much stronger.

I watch him circle me and I am almost afraid of him. I shake my head softly, "Gaspard... I - I do not recognize the smell."

Reaching out for him I gently take hold of his arm, "My love why are you so angered with me? What have I done?"

My heart aching at the thought of having disappointed him. I have never questioned our love - his love for me. We have had disagreements, but this... to lose his love - I would rather die.

[g_a_s_p_a_r_d]

His touch and that word, love, has me wrenching my arm out of his grasp and hissing at him as pain takes hold of my heart. "Don't play me for a fool! I have been played enough!"

I step in front of him and growl in his face. "Your father tried to save his own pathetic life with words of love before I ripped his heart out and ended him!"

[innocentpaul]

Tears flow from my eyes as he pulls away and hollers at me. I don't understand!

"Gaspard please! I don't understand! You killed my father months ago; he spoke nothing of love. I do love you! You know I do, you can taste it in my blood!"

I brush my hair away from my neck leaning my head to the side offering myself to him. Tears flowing down my face, "I am yours Gaspard - you know this. I would rather die a thousand deaths than lose you and your love! What have I done?!"

[g_a_s_p_a_r_d]

My rage tells me to take hold of his neck, to bleed him dry, then snap it like a twig before ripping out his lying heart. I take a step closer to him snarling and baring my fangs but then I falter in the face of his tears and the feel of his own pain. I can't do it. The memory of the first time I took his life crushes my heart.

I growl at myself in frustration and turn away from him stalking back over to the railing. I take hold of the railing in anger. "You know that demon was not your real father Paul. You told me that yourself!" I glare out at the ocean hating that I can't do what should be done. "Michael played me well. Don't try and make me believe you didn't know. How could you not?"

[innocentpaul]

I step closer to him talking softly, "I never knew my real father Gaspard, I also told you that."

Wiping the tears from my face with shaking hands I choke back a sob, "I am not playing you my love. I would never do what that bastard Michael did to you."

Taking a chance because I desperately need to feel him I step closer and place my hands on his back leaning my fore head to his shoulder. My heart breaking I can not hold back the tears or my breaking voice, "If you no longer love me," my body trembling, "please destroy me. I love you so much... oh Gaspard what did I do... why have I lost you?"

[g_a_s_p_a_r_d]

The pain inside is crushing me and I wish I could cry tears like him as it would be at least some release. Instead I squeeze my eyes shut as my fingers crush the railing and I hang my head. "If you had lost me you would be dead right now. I can't kill you again. My heart won't allow it." My voice is soft and defeated. "You look so much like him. I have tried to push those doubts out of my head. I've wanted to believe that's not why I love you. That what we have is real. Are you your father's son Paul? Has this all been a lie? Please just tell me the truth. I need to know."

[innocentpaul]

I lean against him for fear I may crumble to the ground. My arms slipping around him holding tightly. He doubts his love for me... I can not handle this. My mind is lost in a sea of pain.

Sobbing I tell him the only truth I know, "I love you so much Gaspard. You are the only one I have ever loved, the only one I ever needed. I don't know my father - I don't understand why you say these things.'

Holding him tighter I places a kiss on the back of his neck, "You made me want to live, to love. I would never - could never lie to you. Please love me Gaspard.... please. I don't know my real father, I don't want too if he is the cause of you hating me."

I feel like I am dying all over again. No matter how tightly I hold him not feeling his arms, his lips - his love is killing me. Anderson and that angel must have told him who my real father was - is. I don't know who he is - the only person in this world that matters to me is Gaspard!

[g_a_s_p_a_r_d]

His kiss warms my cold skin and makes me gasp quietly as his arms hold me tightly.

... cause of you hating me

I open my eyes at the thought of him thinking that, how sincere he sounds and feels. How much my heart wants to trust in that.

"I could never hate you." I turn in his arms and take his face in my hands looking down deep into his teary pain filled eyes. I study him and soak in the truth. "You are not lying are you." I'm not so much as asking him but stating it to myself as the realisation comes over me. "You really don't know?"

[innocentpaul]

The feel of his hands on my face and his words washing over me. I look into his eyes and see the love and take a deep staggered breath. Leaning into his right hand and shake my head and whisper, "I would never lie to you. I love you, love you."

I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff. At any moment he will let go and I will fall. I find myself holding my breath waiting for the push.

[g_a_s_p_a_r_d]

I have to believe him. My rage fueled my thoughts and now looking at him I know he is nothing like his father. That is why I love him so much.

I look down at him and smile sadly before leaning forward and kissing him gently on the forehead then pull back to look in his eyes once again. "I apologise for letting my anger get the better of me." I stroke his cheek with my thumb. "I should have trusted in your love and never have doubted you. I beg your forgiveness Paul..."

[innocentpaul]

My arms go around his neck and my lips are against his before he can say anything else. Squeezing my eyes tightly I push the rest of the world away and get lost in him. I want him to feel my love for him, truly feel it!

I need to feel his love for me. He need not even ask for my forgiveness - he has it. He has everything that is me, that I am and own.

My fingers threading through his hair I press my body to his and raise my right leg curling it around his left. Sucking on his bottom lip I whimper, "I love you Gaspard, love you... please love me, love me."

[g_a_s_p_a_r_d]

His reaction is enough to push any lingering rage or doubt away. "I do love you Paul. Very much..." I slide my fingers into his hair grabbing a hold of it and pulling his head back to bare his neck for me then sink my fangs into his soft flesh. His rich sweet blood flows into my mouth and I know with some sadness that with the war it's going to be a while before I taste him like this again.

I moan at the taste and feel him respond but my instincts are to hold him back from biting me in return. I take my fangs out of him and lick the little bit of blood my feed has left on his neck before pulling back and looking at him once more. "We have to go." I look to the skies. "I have already wasted too much time."

[innocentpaul]

When he feeds on me, there is no way to describe the way it feels. But I feel his love for me and I know it is real. I want more, but I nod at his command.

He takes my hand and leads me inside the house. I look up at the sky briefly and wonder what he has done, and where we must go. I do not ask though.

I trust Gaspard with my life and will do as he wishes, no matter what he wishes.