So ALIVE!

[_shox_]

I come out of the ether into our bedroom. I am panting, my uniform soiled with dirt, sweat and blood. My chest exposed and a cut from the demons nails bleeds matting my chest hair. Smiling, my eyes wide with excitement I lick my lips.

Comments

[d3v0n_w]

The smell of his blood fills my nose and I'm gagging as he's kissing me and I have my hands up on his chest trying to push him away but I don't think he even notices.

Finally he pulls back and says he loves me but I'm filled with this irrational fear that has been eating away inside me the whole time he has been gone. I snap at him. "Not now Shox!"

I need to find the source of the blood and my hands shift on his chest and they are covered in it and I feel ill, really ill as I heal the cut I find there. I look up at him. "Do you have any more?!"

[_shox_]

Damn, he is upset. Fuck I should have known better. I calm down - fast, and look over my arms, the shredded sleeves but only a few cuts. Looking at my legs just a few scrapes. I shake my head, "No babe, just the one."

I feel bad now. I take his hand, "I shouldn't have sprung this on you, I'm sorry. I just was so... alive! Dev they came out of no where and we just took action! I knew how to defeat them! Different swords with different potions - I knew it all! This," I look down at my now healed chest, "was a double attack, but I got them!"

Smiling I take his hands, "I haven't felt like this since the first time we made love and the first time I saw you hold Strider!! So... just so much belonging!"

[d3v0n_w]

I don't know how he can be smiling. In my mind he reeks of death and I know I have smelt blood before and never thought that but this is his blood and that's all my mind focuses on. The images of his death that have been teasing me all night.

I pull my hands out of his and look down at his blood on them and I need to wash it off, need to make it go away. I turn and head for the bathroom holding my hands out away from me and my stomach turns and I feel a little light headed. "How you equate any of this to love I don't know..."

[_shox_]

I sigh and feel a bit hurt. I thought he might be proud of me. He is so scared.... I don't know how to make this better. I take off what is left of my uniform and grab a towel off the back of the desk chair and wrap it around my hips.

Slowly I walk into the bathroom and his reflection lets me know he is feeling ill again - the connection is breaking. That scares me more than anything. I move quickly up behind him and place my hands on his hips, "I'll take a shower ok? I - I'm sorry Dev. I was just caught up in the moment... I didn't mean to upset you."

He looks up into the mirror and into my reflection's eyes. "I guess the danger and coming through it just made me - appreciate my life more maybe? Appreciate your love."

[_shox_]

My heart stops for a moment and Dad tells me he didn't know till just now. I clench my jaw, "Anderson?!"

He nods and holds me back from going after that son of a bitch telling me I am needed here - with Devon. "If Devon gets too weak, you see what can happen son. You fighting with us... he can not handle it... it hurts his heart too much."It hits me the full force of what he is saying. He pulls me into a hug telling me that I am a great Knight, one of the best, but the risk is too great. I hold onto him and cry softly and nod, "I know. I love him, I won't risk his life, I won't

[pierce_h]

I pull back, "What you do with this information is up to you son. You know Devon best."

He nods and says he knows. I look over at Miles and his scowl. He was a big reason I went through with the invitation to Shox. He has been with us long enough to know how I struggled with the decision and how much I missed my son.

He is bitter and I'm not sure he will understand the need for Shox to stay with his husband. His life is the Knights. I place my hand on Shox's cheek and tell him I love him and I will be in touch. He heads back to the bedroom and I tell Miles that it's time for us to go. Miles scowls and I put my arm around his shoulders, "I'm ok Miles."

[elijah__j__wood]

I watch Dan go out the door and I know he is following them. Shox vouched for that Miles but Dan doesn't trust anyone.

I sigh and sit stroking Devon's hair. He still smells a bit like that stuff that was coming out of him. I lean down close and it's on his breath. I've poked and prodded his face, lifted his arm and let it drop, no response at all. His chest just rises and falls slowly. He's dead asleep. I grimace. Poor choice of words.

After a bit I hear the door open and I turn to see Shox come back in. I'm guessing by the look on his face his father told him what I read in his mind. "He's still sleeping. You okay Shox?"

[_shox_]

I nod and sit next Dev on the other side of the bed. Reaching out I caress Dev's arm, "I'll be better when he wakes and feels better. I wish I had known before all this."

Elijah I'm sure knows. He won't read his friends, but I am sure he read Miles and my dad. Fucking Anderson, always with the secrets. Sometimes it's hard to know just what side he is on.

"He should have told me, us. Devon has the right to know. He knows there is so much about himself that he isn't being told."