Fuckin' Matt is making a fuckin' announcement!!!

[lordofshadows]

I am announcing that Fuckin' Matt's Fuckin' Sandwiches are going on tour. We've jacked enough cash to get a big truck and start bringing our product to all new doors, just more to show how dedicated we are to my dream. And ya know, we aren't gunna be slacking even on the road, we'll go out of our way to hit some pedestrians, maybe a few houses,

Comments

[goofybaboon]

So is this road trip comprable to GTA and Paperboy? As in, you'll be driving your truck and any other vehicles you feel like, beat old ladies with bats, steal your money back from hookers, and throw sandwiches instead of newspapers? And not into people's windows, into their skulls.

[lordofshadows]

Nah, we like to keep to our own vehicle, our fuckin' truck has a distinct Fuckin' Matt feel to it. We got the spiked tank treads, buzz saws and grinders on extendible arms, a napalm cannon and the grill of the truck is made up of a series of chainsaws.

Also we don't like to throw our sandwiches, you may lose some of the meat and toppings that way. We'll just crash into your house and dump a pile of sandwiches on top of you while you're sleeping.

[goofybaboon]

Are some of those extending arms fucking arms? With a big goddamn sword-dildo like in Se7en that rips you in half like a stuck pig that was face-fucked by a facehugger and is giving birth to a goddamn alien bursting through its chest? Cause that'd be fucking awesome. Furthermore, are they free fucking samples for the service and quality of Fuckin' Matt's Fucking Sandwiches? Where if pedestrians and people about to get run over don't like it, they can just have some fat-free acid, face-first... in the tub in the back.

[lordofshadows]

You're fuckin' hired.

[goofybaboon]

FUCK YEAH!

[lordofshadows]

Now get in the fuckin' kitchen, to be fully initiated you mus do battle with the Fuckin' Flaming Yawn Wildebeest Fish of Damnation.