Fear and Loathing in Kitsap: 9/5/2008
This means I love you, he murmured
This will be our little secret
You'll wind up horribly murdered
if you should dare not to keep it
Raped the Face, Hamlet 2
Gentle readers, I have a wide variety of announcements and stories from the domain of Kitsap, inside of Lord Nelson’s Imperium.
I think there are dozens of versions of this story through out history. With apologies to Aesop, allow me to begin a modern tale of the Scorpion and the Crocodile.
There was once a herd of potent Crocodiles named the New Scales swimming in the swamp. A young, tiny girl Scorpion from the Lil Stingers motioned to them on the river bank. “Hey guys, I need across that river.”
“You’re a scorpion, you’ll just sting us.”
The scorpion battled her eyelashes. “I’d drown and die. Besides, I really need help. There are Crocodiles chasing me from San Marcos and Portland.”
“Huh. Well that’s not fair. We’ll take you across.”
“Thank you. You guys are great.”
Midway through the ride of course, the Lil Stingers tried to sting the New Scales. Luckily their sting was weak and no one was hurt too badly. When they got to the river bank the crocodiles and scorpions talked for hours about how the Lil Stingers would never sting the New Scales ever again.
A few days later, Crocodiles from nearby rivers approached the New Scales and said “Why are you picking on the Lil Stingers?”
“We helped them across the river. They stung us after we helped them. They’re lucky they didn’t drown. They swore they would never sting us again. Plus, they said you were after them.”
“That doesn’t sound right. They’re just little insects they couldn’t possibly hurt mighty crocodiles like you. Don’t let it happen again.” the other Crocodiles threatened.
“But they have stingers. Next time they come to us we’ll send them back your way.” Which is exactly what the New Scales did when the Lil Scorpions came back for another ride. Throwing a temper tantrum the scorpions stung the New Scales.
Sick and tired of getting stung, the New Scales swallowed the lead scorpion whole and then burped. “It’s in our nature to consume that which opposes us.”
Speaking of scorpions and morons, the very well *admired* Nathaniel Green, Primarch of the Crone within Lord Nelson’s Imperium, has something he wishes announced far and wide. He feels that perhaps living in the woods have made him too subtle and crafty to deal directly with the cretins with no sense of self preservation. There are many vampires who don’t seem to understand how the Jihad works or how to behave in polite society. Thus, he has created a system for the moronic to understand his feelings towards them.
He has crafted a number of disks that will be worn around his neck. Some of them have the number 1 engraved on them and some of them have the number 2 engraved upon them. When he deals with a moron and gives them a second chance, he will give them a disk with a 1 upon it.
If that poor excuse for a vampire continues to error and or betray Nathaniel, he will replace that disk for one with a 2 upon it. There will not be a third chance.
Nathaniel Green Primarch of the Crone wishes it to be known that Harlequin of the Crone must bear the disk with a 1 upon it.
If any one that is given a disk refuses to wear it at any gathering, Nathaniel Green will assume that this vampire is refusing his mercy and will react accordingly. Obviously Roland “Harlequin” Thibault is not worthy of being *Valued* within Kitsap. If you can’t wear your big boy pants, you won’t get any respect from me.
Prince Belson wishes it to be known that known violators of Elysium are not welcomed in his domain. They will be harassed, attacked, and befouled as is befitting of a cretin that doesn’t understand the basic laws in which our society operates.
Further, the Crones and the Carthians of Lord Nelson’s Imperium wish it to be known that bloodbinding members of either Covenant against their will not be tolerated under any circumstances.
Yes, you might think why would we have to state this sort of thing? What sort of moron vampire would do this sort of thing and then expect not to have any sort of consequences? Yes, Fatima Beauchamp, your deeds are known to us. I can only imagine what your own city is going to do to you for your horrid crimes. Your misdeeds on Elysium has reached our ears by the words of the noble harpy of San Marcos. I can only imagine what Prince Vasili might do upon his return when he finds out that one of his people have violated an Elysium. Uncle Vasili is known for having failures drawn and quartered.
Speaking of asshats, there is also the subject of Roland “Harlequin” Thibault and Manuel Vasquez. They were given a responsibility to take care of the vampire known as Uin. And failed miserably.
Of course, this situation started with Harlequin leaving a torpored Uin in a hearse in the middle of a busy urban park with crack whores plying their trade. Way to protect the Masquerade on that one you masked moron. With the local crime rate, you didn’t think the car would be stolen or the stereo stolen? And then you hired a crack head to bring a message to Manuel at the public gathering. Yes, let’s invite a drug addled fiend to a place with vampires and have him look for another vampire. It is clear that you should not even be *recognized* as a vampire.
Manuel Vasquez took responsibility of Uin and decided to help her along. A noble plan. And then of course, he pulled a Manny. What is a Manny? I’m glad you asked. A Manny is when you maybe have decent intentions and then you betray your friends and allies, fuck everything up, and then deny any sort of responsibility for your actions. Yes, when you claim responsibility for someone, you are responsible for them. And when they disappear and return with a much greater potency of the blood, you are responsible. Obviously, you are *NOT* a valued member of this domain.
Speaking of which, there was recently a deal made between Acrimony and a notable member of Seattle. Roland “Harlequin” Thibault violated that deal in a sad and pathetic attempt to master the jihad. Harlequin that night you registered a major boon owed to Zeal of the New Flesh. He wishes it to be known that he expects you to personally come to the next Kitsap gathering to personally grovel for your pathetic behavior. Failure to do so will be a failure to pay this boon and brand you as one who does not pay his debts.
On a sad note, Zeal announced that he was leaving the Carthian Movement and joining the Circle of the Crone. If you wish for more details, you should contact him personally.
One final note: you are judged by the company that you keep. You are judged by the causes that you champion. You are judged by your actions.
If a fight starts and you are on the wrong side, don’t expect that you will be judged with kid gloves. Not all of us are as kind and merciful as Nathanial Green.
The problems with Scorpions and Crocodiles is that they occupy different levels of the ecosystem. Often they shouldn’t even really come into conflict since they should have their own interests and hobbies. However, sometimes Scorpions think they are Crocodiles and thus act like they are the kings of the swamp. And sometimes, despite constantly asking the Scorpions to leave them alone, the Crocodiles have to eat them or wear dresses and submit to them.
Feared List:
Acrimony and Joy: You scattered the fools that dared to oppose you like lions chasing gazelle. I heard their weeping and cries for mercy all across the quad.
Loathed List:
Fatima: We had such high hopes for you. We had plans and wanted to help you. We even went against our nature hoping that you would grow up. I now see you for the pathetic coward that you are. You abandoned your friends when they jumped in the way to save you and laughed about it to your friends elsewhere.
Manuel Vasquez: You sir are a joke. It is sad. I considered you to be a grand friend and once you were well respected. When we returned to Tacoma, everyone told us that you had changed and now was a lying bastard that would betray anyone around you. And for the record, this is what it looks like when a harpy is savaging someone. Notice the difference?
Harlequin: You really think you are a master of the Jyahd? Every time you are bested by your simple schemes, you shake your fist and curse the heavens and can’t seem to figure out why everything comes back to you. And really, you’d sell out your sacred role in your covenant just to make a sad and worthless move?
Sorrow
Harpy of Kitsap/Tacoma
The Lord of Laughter
The New Flesh
OOC:
Carthian Status: 3
Mekhet Status: 2
http://carthian.cam-wiki.org/The_New_Flesh
Jason Andrew
US 2002022602
OOC:
Sorrow has 4 status points to use as Harpy that comes from his status daddy, Prince Belson.
Sorrow expends 1 status point to dock Harlequin from 3 to 2. Sorrow expends a second status point to dock Harlequin from 2 to 1.
Likewise, Sorrow expends 2 status points to dock Manny from 3 to 2. Manny is Lancea Sanctum, which is the rival covenant in Kitsap and thus requires twice as much to remove 1 status.