And the song birds keep singing like they know the score
Dear Arms,
I was going to update anyway, and apon coming to the site to do so I had the strange, and rather boasting thought that I think I'm becoming more mature.
Honestly, now that I've said it, what the fuck does that even mean? It's like what I read in a Hugh Laurie the other night with Lux--like I'm an alchoholic trying to convince himself that he's not going to drink anymore. I suppose it just means I can support myself being alone without crumbleing under the wieght of having no restrictions on my behavior whatsoever. IF that makes any sence. Like last night I was at my friend's dorm in my old building so that I could use his laundry machines for free, and was thinking to myself, amoung other things that I have faired pretty well.
Honestly.
I've paid every single bill I've ever owed on time, even if I have overdrawn a couple times. I pay rent and live in a decent apartment. The only time I skip classes if I feel as though it will be a geniune waste of time to go, like if I have a phycology or some shit were the last assignment I did was to do a 5 second sketch of a brain and turn it in to prove we were present. I have a decent place, I've made friends with respectable friends who don't do serious drugs and who I can trust. I'm pretty frugal for the most part, although I'm not perfect about money. I've seen people I know, over the past year I've been here, go from doing almost nothing wrong to becoming practical alchoholics and/or hard drug users. Half the people I started out with have dropped out. So yeah, I think I'm doin pretty ok.
I still hold grudges, but the ones I've had the longest I'm starting to let go of. I'm curious now about old boyfriends and old aquientences becuase I know I've grown and wonder how they have. Not becuase I wonder if they are squandering thier lives in misery without me. Although, for one case in point I still do. I deserve to be angry at him the longest.
I am very happy with Ryan. Happier, I think than I have ever been. And I'm sure everyone says that when they are in a new realtionship simply becuase they are at the hieght of some new euphoria, but I think that it really is true. I love(d) James, and very much, but more or less the entire relationship I was lonley and miserable and sucked into his hole of self-loathing. Now I have someone to finish my sentences, and who is, thus far, perfect. Honestly. There is so little wrong with him it scares me.
People keep asking me if we're in love, and I'm never entierly sure how to answer them. I have insanley strong feelings for him, and we're clearly on the same emotional page and everything which is fantastic. But it's all really early, and I don't want to jump ahead and say stuff too early just bc I think I might be, or want to be, and freak everything out. I can tell you this, if I'm not yet, I will be.
I went to go see Regina Spektor on the 26th at the Moore Theatre, and then again at Easy Street Records for free the next day. She is FANTASTIC in everyway, very nice, and very clever. I didn't recognoize a majority of the songs she played bc I only have her newest cd, but reguardless I loved all of them. And normally when people play old songs that I don't already have I don't like them, but such is not the case. Alot of them were Bsides she hadn't released, but I looked up the lyrics and everything and I think I have a majority of them:
It Ain't No Cover
Genius Next Door
poor little rich boy
carbon menoxide
the flowers
Us
Sailor Song
your honor
ghost of a coorperate faliure
Fidelity
Better
Samson
On the radio
Apres Moi
(20 years of snow)
Hotel Song
That Time
Edit
Summer in the City
Music Box (ES)
Baby Jesus
(folding chairs)
Dance Anthem of the 80's (ES)
prisoners
Your Honor
A Field Bellow
She makes me want to play piano. After Easy Street she did a signing even though she had been stuck in traffic getting there and had to leave directly afterward to go to SanFran after she was done. And she was still curtious and jovial to everyone.
I talked to the drummer at teh record store show when I recognized him from the show earlier while I was waiting in line, and we had a nice conversation about how much I liked the show and how he throws drumsticks and cymbals, and how she is so modest she doesn't even think people really like her music, which is impossiable.
And in a final note, everyone should go to Jack in the Box and try the Pumpkin Pie shake. It is remarkable accurate and thus, is sex in a plastic cup. I infact interupted Rachel JUST to tell her that very thing. Go. Now. Do it.
And then tell me how wonderful you though it was,
ME
I was going to update anyway, and apon coming to the site to do so I had the strange, and rather boasting thought that I think I'm becoming more mature.
Honestly, now that I've said it, what the fuck does that even mean? It's like what I read in a Hugh Laurie the other night with Lux--like I'm an alchoholic trying to convince himself that he's not going to drink anymore. I suppose it just means I can support myself being alone without crumbleing under the wieght of having no restrictions on my behavior whatsoever. IF that makes any sence. Like last night I was at my friend's dorm in my old building so that I could use his laundry machines for free, and was thinking to myself, amoung other things that I have faired pretty well.
Honestly.
I've paid every single bill I've ever owed on time, even if I have overdrawn a couple times. I pay rent and live in a decent apartment. The only time I skip classes if I feel as though it will be a geniune waste of time to go, like if I have a phycology or some shit were the last assignment I did was to do a 5 second sketch of a brain and turn it in to prove we were present. I have a decent place, I've made friends with respectable friends who don't do serious drugs and who I can trust. I'm pretty frugal for the most part, although I'm not perfect about money. I've seen people I know, over the past year I've been here, go from doing almost nothing wrong to becoming practical alchoholics and/or hard drug users. Half the people I started out with have dropped out. So yeah, I think I'm doin pretty ok.
I still hold grudges, but the ones I've had the longest I'm starting to let go of. I'm curious now about old boyfriends and old aquientences becuase I know I've grown and wonder how they have. Not becuase I wonder if they are squandering thier lives in misery without me. Although, for one case in point I still do. I deserve to be angry at him the longest.
I am very happy with Ryan. Happier, I think than I have ever been. And I'm sure everyone says that when they are in a new realtionship simply becuase they are at the hieght of some new euphoria, but I think that it really is true. I love(d) James, and very much, but more or less the entire relationship I was lonley and miserable and sucked into his hole of self-loathing. Now I have someone to finish my sentences, and who is, thus far, perfect. Honestly. There is so little wrong with him it scares me.
People keep asking me if we're in love, and I'm never entierly sure how to answer them. I have insanley strong feelings for him, and we're clearly on the same emotional page and everything which is fantastic. But it's all really early, and I don't want to jump ahead and say stuff too early just bc I think I might be, or want to be, and freak everything out. I can tell you this, if I'm not yet, I will be.
I went to go see Regina Spektor on the 26th at the Moore Theatre, and then again at Easy Street Records for free the next day. She is FANTASTIC in everyway, very nice, and very clever. I didn't recognoize a majority of the songs she played bc I only have her newest cd, but reguardless I loved all of them. And normally when people play old songs that I don't already have I don't like them, but such is not the case. Alot of them were Bsides she hadn't released, but I looked up the lyrics and everything and I think I have a majority of them:
It Ain't No Cover
Genius Next Door
poor little rich boy
carbon menoxide
the flowers
Us
Sailor Song
your honor
ghost of a coorperate faliure
Fidelity
Better
Samson
On the radio
Apres Moi
(20 years of snow)
Hotel Song
That Time
Edit
Summer in the City
Music Box (ES)
Baby Jesus
(folding chairs)
Dance Anthem of the 80's (ES)
prisoners
Your Honor
A Field Bellow
She makes me want to play piano. After Easy Street she did a signing even though she had been stuck in traffic getting there and had to leave directly afterward to go to SanFran after she was done. And she was still curtious and jovial to everyone.
I talked to the drummer at teh record store show when I recognized him from the show earlier while I was waiting in line, and we had a nice conversation about how much I liked the show and how he throws drumsticks and cymbals, and how she is so modest she doesn't even think people really like her music, which is impossiable.
And in a final note, everyone should go to Jack in the Box and try the Pumpkin Pie shake. It is remarkable accurate and thus, is sex in a plastic cup. I infact interupted Rachel JUST to tell her that very thing. Go. Now. Do it.
And then tell me how wonderful you though it was,
ME