I didn't know he was also...Deinonychus
I saw him through the window, interrupted in mid-daydream with a nightmare of my own failings. There was no denying his gaze, I was too close to the front of the bus to pretend my eyes were elsewhere; they were not scrutinizing his every nervous tic, the shadows around his eyes, the fear of awkwardness. But aside and down, I cast the fates along with my eyes hoping the way a child hopes for magic and mystery to protect him from the horrors of growing up.
He passed me and I could smell the way he used to be to me. Two senses conquered already, I was free before he pierced me. I couldn't turn my mind to delusions, couldn't darken the surroundings to mute the reflective glass before me that showed his obscure face behind me. I tried so hard to believe he wasn't looking at me. But he would smile, he would frown, he would change each time I looked. How could he just play with me, not knowing how much I felt like my heart was being wrenched from it's home with every stroke of his beautiful form. And I would fly between worlds, beating the air with wings of obsession, beating the air with fists of desperation. His beauty, my fleeting strength and show broke me.
He stood up to leave. I wouldn't be seen as a complete coward. I looked him in the eye. He matched me there, turning the deepness of my confusion against me. Was he afraid, was he patronizing, or was he just as when I first met him, wild? The most subtle of nods, both ways. He goes and we're back where we started, we see through a mirror, darkly; not yet face to face. Will I know only in part? Will I ever be as known?
You still have my heart.
He passed me and I could smell the way he used to be to me. Two senses conquered already, I was free before he pierced me. I couldn't turn my mind to delusions, couldn't darken the surroundings to mute the reflective glass before me that showed his obscure face behind me. I tried so hard to believe he wasn't looking at me. But he would smile, he would frown, he would change each time I looked. How could he just play with me, not knowing how much I felt like my heart was being wrenched from it's home with every stroke of his beautiful form. And I would fly between worlds, beating the air with wings of obsession, beating the air with fists of desperation. His beauty, my fleeting strength and show broke me.
He stood up to leave. I wouldn't be seen as a complete coward. I looked him in the eye. He matched me there, turning the deepness of my confusion against me. Was he afraid, was he patronizing, or was he just as when I first met him, wild? The most subtle of nods, both ways. He goes and we're back where we started, we see through a mirror, darkly; not yet face to face. Will I know only in part? Will I ever be as known?
You still have my heart.