(no subject)
So I've completed my journey 100% successful. 3 months of abstaining from music, movies, television, books, entertainment, social interraction, meat, then delving further into total isolation, starvation, intense daily meditation, and constant battling against ego desires and attachments. I felt very victorious, but ever since I finished I've been indulging rather frequently on all the things I rid my attachments to. And even though I partake in all the things and eat all the foods I'm not attached to them, I don't need them to be happy, I've totally found my own inner light and love. but I've been rather stagnant in my growth and I believe it's really time to take it to the next level. I'm starting to feel as if I'm regressing back into my older self, doing all the things I did in high school. I did a lot of good work in Bakersfield and got a lot of people involved in the mystery school teachings, but it's really time to get back to LA and start doing what I was meant to do. This is where my place is. I lost 20 pounds on the journey all within the last two weeks when I was eating nothing at all and meditating 10 hours a day, and now I've gained 30 pounds and for the first time in my life I have a belly. It's very small but it's just enough to notice whenever I look in the mirror. It's very strange, my body has gone through such dramatic change in such little time. At least I've been exercising regularly and I'm starting to build up my muscle again. I think I want to go to Japan and compete in Ninja Warrior. I really love that show. I'm going to Ireland in November to advance my training to the next level, very excited about that. I seriously feel like I'm in the Matrix now. I've seen and experienced so many things, came across so much truth. I can't ever look at life the same again. I can see how I've gone down the rabbit hole and there is no going back.