ruminations on "The Judas Kiss"
As I walked Raja down by the Delaware River on this cold, crisp morning, my mind began to swirl about all of the work and the events that led to "The Judas Kiss" becoming what it is now.
One year ago, we were in the midst of shooting the largest of the clusters of scenes. It was an incredibly difficult time, with little sleep, lots of work and a hearty dose of stress. Venda and Melody were both living in the house with me at that point (and Inara as a part-time resident), and we were all trying to cope with our project work and various other things in our heads. Our capacities in regards to fatigue, tolerance, forgiveness and resilience were tested heavily. There were betrayals by actors (well, one actress), hard days on set and I felt pushed to the brink of my wits by everything going on in the project and in other people's lives that filtered in.
Throughout this year the same template of hardship arose in many incarnations, and really sculpted what I've become now. I have risen to such heights on wings of joy in what we created, been levelled in sorrow in what that cost and had to overcome the single most emotionally taxing moments of my existence to bring this film into being. I have learned so much about myself, my influences and the nature of those who gravitate toward entertainment as their work that I am forever changed, affected by the long journey of heart and art.
"The Judas Kiss" is a singularly unique independent film in that what was derived from a skeletal structure is a story that is both intimate and grandiose simultaneously, filled with layer upon layer of human emotion and motivation, and really metaphorical for times in which we live now and in the past, how mistakes are repeated, how life's cycles are often unbreakable and how when we strive for redemption we can fall so short, yet continue to form inside the chrysalis of our circumstances, always evolving as the cycles of life continue within and without us. I am extremely proud of how we advocated the themes of the story and the lives and thoughts of the characters.
The film is visually stunning at times, stark in others, in what was captured and chosen to relay the idea that a life of artistic glory and fame came lead to the most basic instincts for survival, the choices of choosing a richeous path or a selfish one, how they can exist in simultaneous, synchronous dissonance in the same realm of human feeling. The mixture of handheld technique with set tripod shots has created a very new, personal feel to a period piece that emphasizes the fact that we rarely learn from history, personal or temporal, and that what we do learn comes in small increments after much damage to ourselves and to the world.
The score of "The Judas Kiss" is similarly unique to this small-budget film in its blend of intimate piano with deeper, resonant strings and recurring, thematic composition. How the theme from "Love Story" is so recognized as emanating from that film, subtly changed, yet repeated, to bring the audience in and out of the emotions while emphasizing the primary context is similar to what we've done in "Judas". There are other great, non-thematic compositions that blend jazz, swing and Russian music into the greater whole. The original song, "Promise", is one of the most heartrending works I have ever heard, filled with such rich emotion and sonic beauty that it is difficult to describe. It, as the film in general, has proven itself to be so metaphorical to my life; the man I was, the man I am, and the man I must become to carry this onward and absorb the lessons of the project and my life.
We now embark on the last leg of "The Judas Kiss" journey: bringing the film to the world. I absolutely love it for what it is, but also see it as a keystone in the grander architecture I'd always planned. So may people have assisted me in creating this world, the world inside of me and outside. I thank each and every one of you with all of my heart. There have been hard lessons, joyous occasions, and the creation of something truly special. We all need to run into the future with arms wide opn, embracing the next lessons, the next glories and our destinies!
One year ago, we were in the midst of shooting the largest of the clusters of scenes. It was an incredibly difficult time, with little sleep, lots of work and a hearty dose of stress. Venda and Melody were both living in the house with me at that point (and Inara as a part-time resident), and we were all trying to cope with our project work and various other things in our heads. Our capacities in regards to fatigue, tolerance, forgiveness and resilience were tested heavily. There were betrayals by actors (well, one actress), hard days on set and I felt pushed to the brink of my wits by everything going on in the project and in other people's lives that filtered in.
Throughout this year the same template of hardship arose in many incarnations, and really sculpted what I've become now. I have risen to such heights on wings of joy in what we created, been levelled in sorrow in what that cost and had to overcome the single most emotionally taxing moments of my existence to bring this film into being. I have learned so much about myself, my influences and the nature of those who gravitate toward entertainment as their work that I am forever changed, affected by the long journey of heart and art.
"The Judas Kiss" is a singularly unique independent film in that what was derived from a skeletal structure is a story that is both intimate and grandiose simultaneously, filled with layer upon layer of human emotion and motivation, and really metaphorical for times in which we live now and in the past, how mistakes are repeated, how life's cycles are often unbreakable and how when we strive for redemption we can fall so short, yet continue to form inside the chrysalis of our circumstances, always evolving as the cycles of life continue within and without us. I am extremely proud of how we advocated the themes of the story and the lives and thoughts of the characters.
The film is visually stunning at times, stark in others, in what was captured and chosen to relay the idea that a life of artistic glory and fame came lead to the most basic instincts for survival, the choices of choosing a richeous path or a selfish one, how they can exist in simultaneous, synchronous dissonance in the same realm of human feeling. The mixture of handheld technique with set tripod shots has created a very new, personal feel to a period piece that emphasizes the fact that we rarely learn from history, personal or temporal, and that what we do learn comes in small increments after much damage to ourselves and to the world.
The score of "The Judas Kiss" is similarly unique to this small-budget film in its blend of intimate piano with deeper, resonant strings and recurring, thematic composition. How the theme from "Love Story" is so recognized as emanating from that film, subtly changed, yet repeated, to bring the audience in and out of the emotions while emphasizing the primary context is similar to what we've done in "Judas". There are other great, non-thematic compositions that blend jazz, swing and Russian music into the greater whole. The original song, "Promise", is one of the most heartrending works I have ever heard, filled with such rich emotion and sonic beauty that it is difficult to describe. It, as the film in general, has proven itself to be so metaphorical to my life; the man I was, the man I am, and the man I must become to carry this onward and absorb the lessons of the project and my life.
We now embark on the last leg of "The Judas Kiss" journey: bringing the film to the world. I absolutely love it for what it is, but also see it as a keystone in the grander architecture I'd always planned. So may people have assisted me in creating this world, the world inside of me and outside. I thank each and every one of you with all of my heart. There have been hard lessons, joyous occasions, and the creation of something truly special. We all need to run into the future with arms wide opn, embracing the next lessons, the next glories and our destinies!