Why do you blog?
*******WARNING -- THIS IS A LONG POST WITH OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE THAT I DON'T EXPECT ANYONE TO ACTUALLY GET THROUGH*********
"Vision? What do you know about my vision?! My vision would turn your world upside-down, tear asunder your illusions, and a sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you. Ask yourself... are you really ready to see that vision?" - Huey Freeman
No, seriously. Why do you blog? Have you ever seriously sat down and thought about it?
People blog for as many reasons as there are stars in the sky. Do you just have to get something off your chest and share it with someone, anyone, who might possibly sit down and read what you have to say? Is it because you believe you have a gift for something, and sometimes that creative eruption can't be contained and still keep your sanity? Do you blog in desperate hope that someone with some weight in an industry may read about your opinion on an album or movie or tv show or politician and decide you are some unknown diamond in the rough of potential talent? Do you blog because you desire to set down in writing your day to day activities in order to solidify the reality of your situation, and reaffirm your initial reactions to circumstances applied to you as the correct ones? Maybe you blog because you think that someone out there cares about the utterly mundane details of your day to day life, like what flavor coffee you had with your breakfast this morning. I mean, let's face it. Who doesn't care about crap like that, since you are, infact, the coolest human that walks the planet.
I guess I blog (occasionally) in the hopes that someone, somewhere, may actually give a shit about what I have to say about something. It's the hope that I may say something that clicks with somebody on some level and I can find that bridge of communication with a decent human being. I find so few of them these days, but lukily just about everyone in kung fu that I've met actually qualifies.
I know, I know... you're saying to yourself, "Wally, these people qualify because you have gotten to know them. I bet if you actually introduced yourself to, and sat down and really got to know, these people that you claim to hate so much on a day to day basis... well, you'd find that most of them probably aren't really that bad."
...I doubt it.
By the way, Sifu. Before I get in to this, I want you to know (if you're reading) that your reason for owning an SUV is the only decent reason I've ever heard for owning one. Yes, you are something like 16 times more likely to kill someone if you hit them in an SUV, so in order to protect your family you get them what they need to survive. That's doing what you need to do for your family. My beef isn't with that... my beef is with the fact that we live in a culture that makes that action neccessary.
The people I see on a day to day basis are the 23 year old newlyweds who've just bought a brand new Ford Excursion because they're young and new in the financial world with brand new higher-paying positions that they aren't used to having, and just can't wait to get in to debt. These crappy little shallow, hollow shells of people who want the envogue SUV... and damn the mileage. I mean, it's what we're supposed to have as Americans, right? The biggest whatever that costs the most? I mean, who really cares if it's prudent or not... My neighbors have one, and I have to keep up with the Joneses or my family is going to hate me since I can't supply them with what they need to continue being shallow, selfish, materialistic idolaters worshipping consumerism and consumed with covetousness. My deal with SUV's isn't the idea that it's contributing to the price of oil. If half the cars in America magically turned in to hybrids overnight, it wouldn't change the cost of oil at all. It would all just get bought by China, wouldn't it? I could be wrong about that, though...
But that's not all... don't think the only people I see on a daily basis are the people that drive automobiles they have no business driving whatsoever... people that don't have kids and friends of said kids to carpool with to soccer practice.
I see the redneck asshole who beats the shit out of his girlfriend outside the pool hall because he had a bad night at the table. The guy who cheats on his girlfriend or wife on a weekly basis because he has no clue about what values are, or what morality means, or what it means to be in a relationship based on trust, where someone has placed their fragile and delicate trust in the hands of a someone who that person loved and believed when they said the things they did. The asshole who is so used to doing whatever he wants whenever he wants to do it, that the idea of actually thinking of another person so revolts him that he lashes out at her, because how dare she question the man in the relationship.
Fuck him.
I see the girl that puts up with that bullshit. I see the girls that continue on in their abusive relationship because the asshole has convinced her that she deserves it. I see the girl that believes the only reason he hits her and yells at her is because he really loves her, and it just hurts him so much to see her act the way she acts that it forces his hand. I see the girl who puts up with the beatings, because she loves him and believes she can change him. She thinks that somewhere, deep down inside him, is the caring and gentle soul that he covers up and buries underneath the facade of aggression just waiting for the right girl to come along and extend the caring and nurturing hand he needs to pull himself out of depths to tranform into the Prince Charming that he really his.
He isn't. He never will be.
Eventually it just turns to fear on many levels. Fear of getting home late and him wondering where you've been. Fear of questioning where he's been. Fear of communication. Fear of expression. Fear of what he'll do next. Then the fear of what he'll do if she leaves him.
You try to tell her. You try to help her. You try to convince her that it's going to end badly. It always does. She doesn't listen. She holds on to an idea of someone who isn't there. She holds on to hope, until eventually she decides that she's been talking to you too much about what's been going on, and all your advice about getting out of there as fast as she can is detrimental to the healing process she tries to facillitate so desperately in vain, and decides it's best if you didn't talk to each other anymore.
Eventually you just pray he doesn't kill her, 'cause that's all you can do.
I see the idiot that thinks you actually give a flying fuck about every minute detail of what happens in his life on a day to day basis. No, I don't give a shit about how your cousin fell off a ladder while trying to fix a chandalier. No, I don't give a shit that the service at the restraunt you ate at for lunch today was the worst you'd ever had. No, I don't give a shit about how some family member that I've never met, talked to, or even heard about before right now is in the hospital getting a catheter and you feel like describing the process to me, in detail. Guess what? I don't give a shit about you having to go in to detail about every thought process you go through during every second of the day, and then telling me what you thought about it. I don't give a shit. Spare me, please, from the tedium of random pointless minutia that you shouldn't have even thought about as long as it took you to tell me you thought about it.
I see the people that vote straight Republican because they don't want gays to marry (should gays be capitalized? Fuck it, I don't really care), and because they want it to be nice and easy to get out of paying most of their taxes. I see people that love "W" because he's a good Christian man. Guess what, idiot. "W" has exploited the Christian vote, and has turned your faith (and mine, for that matter) into a means to an end. But that's ok, though. He hates abortion. That makes it ok, right?
I see people that vote straight Democrat because they don't wanna hear our kids saying "under God" in the classroom. Damn it, I guess you fuckers won't be happy until there are court orders saying intellegent design can't be taught as an alternative to evolution in every classroom in every state. If evolution is so damned foolproof, why are you threatened by being exposed to another idea? Isn't that one of the things you hypocritical bastards pride yourselves on? Your open-mindedness? Bite me, commie.
I see people every day bitching about problems they contribute to without knowing it.
I see people blissfully wallowing in their own ignorance.
I see people who fear truth so much that they are willing to fight to keep from learning it.
I see people in places that don't understand or appreciate the sacrifices made by those before them so they could be in the position they are in.
I see infidelity dressed in acquiescence.
I see hypocrisy used as the preferred ethical currency.
And I'm a part of it.
I judge.
All the bullshit I've just spewn forth like so much philisophical vomit... Who the fuck do I think I am? Who am I to judge them, you, or anybody?
I'm nobody.
This is why I take Shen Lung. In the hope that it can help me see what I'm missing about the world. In hopes that it can open my eyes to something more than what's right in front of them, to what is beyond and what is beautiful and right about people. In the hope that I can find more people who I can tolerate being around.
So is this why I blog? Because this bullshit builds and builds and builds and I'm too poilite to tell it to anybody because I know they don't wanna listen to me bitch about this depressing bullshit? Because if I don't put it down somewhere with the possibility of someone reading it I'll just keep going insane day by day? Nobody's gonna read all of this, and if you do then thank you. I wrote this for you. For someone who gives enough of a shit about someone to go through this pseudo-philisophical dystopic quagmire of a fucking blog post. I wrote this because if someone doesn't read it I'll just go more and more crazy and nobody will know why.
Maybe I did it because deep down we're all emo bitches and bastards just craving the attention we see others get.
I guess it's like Paul said to the Corinthians, that for now we see ourselves in a mirror darkly, but then face to face. That what we see now as a reflection of ourselves is skewed, altered from the reality, but as we grow the image will become more clear. At least that's what I hope he meant by it. Personally I find the notion appealing that what I see in people is just my view from a fucked up angle of a truth I don't percieve, and that what I see as twisted isn't really twisted at all, but my perception is just skewed.
I guess that's why I wrote this blog. Because I'm hoping someone can convince me that's the case, because I've never wanted to be wrong so bad in my life.
Or maybe it's just the lack of sleep talking, on top of the rum...
Probably the rum...
Someone please at least respond to tell me to have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up.
"Vision? What do you know about my vision?! My vision would turn your world upside-down, tear asunder your illusions, and a sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you. Ask yourself... are you really ready to see that vision?" - Huey Freeman
No, seriously. Why do you blog? Have you ever seriously sat down and thought about it?
People blog for as many reasons as there are stars in the sky. Do you just have to get something off your chest and share it with someone, anyone, who might possibly sit down and read what you have to say? Is it because you believe you have a gift for something, and sometimes that creative eruption can't be contained and still keep your sanity? Do you blog in desperate hope that someone with some weight in an industry may read about your opinion on an album or movie or tv show or politician and decide you are some unknown diamond in the rough of potential talent? Do you blog because you desire to set down in writing your day to day activities in order to solidify the reality of your situation, and reaffirm your initial reactions to circumstances applied to you as the correct ones? Maybe you blog because you think that someone out there cares about the utterly mundane details of your day to day life, like what flavor coffee you had with your breakfast this morning. I mean, let's face it. Who doesn't care about crap like that, since you are, infact, the coolest human that walks the planet.
I guess I blog (occasionally) in the hopes that someone, somewhere, may actually give a shit about what I have to say about something. It's the hope that I may say something that clicks with somebody on some level and I can find that bridge of communication with a decent human being. I find so few of them these days, but lukily just about everyone in kung fu that I've met actually qualifies.
I know, I know... you're saying to yourself, "Wally, these people qualify because you have gotten to know them. I bet if you actually introduced yourself to, and sat down and really got to know, these people that you claim to hate so much on a day to day basis... well, you'd find that most of them probably aren't really that bad."
...I doubt it.
By the way, Sifu. Before I get in to this, I want you to know (if you're reading) that your reason for owning an SUV is the only decent reason I've ever heard for owning one. Yes, you are something like 16 times more likely to kill someone if you hit them in an SUV, so in order to protect your family you get them what they need to survive. That's doing what you need to do for your family. My beef isn't with that... my beef is with the fact that we live in a culture that makes that action neccessary.
The people I see on a day to day basis are the 23 year old newlyweds who've just bought a brand new Ford Excursion because they're young and new in the financial world with brand new higher-paying positions that they aren't used to having, and just can't wait to get in to debt. These crappy little shallow, hollow shells of people who want the envogue SUV... and damn the mileage. I mean, it's what we're supposed to have as Americans, right? The biggest whatever that costs the most? I mean, who really cares if it's prudent or not... My neighbors have one, and I have to keep up with the Joneses or my family is going to hate me since I can't supply them with what they need to continue being shallow, selfish, materialistic idolaters worshipping consumerism and consumed with covetousness. My deal with SUV's isn't the idea that it's contributing to the price of oil. If half the cars in America magically turned in to hybrids overnight, it wouldn't change the cost of oil at all. It would all just get bought by China, wouldn't it? I could be wrong about that, though...
But that's not all... don't think the only people I see on a daily basis are the people that drive automobiles they have no business driving whatsoever... people that don't have kids and friends of said kids to carpool with to soccer practice.
I see the redneck asshole who beats the shit out of his girlfriend outside the pool hall because he had a bad night at the table. The guy who cheats on his girlfriend or wife on a weekly basis because he has no clue about what values are, or what morality means, or what it means to be in a relationship based on trust, where someone has placed their fragile and delicate trust in the hands of a someone who that person loved and believed when they said the things they did. The asshole who is so used to doing whatever he wants whenever he wants to do it, that the idea of actually thinking of another person so revolts him that he lashes out at her, because how dare she question the man in the relationship.
Fuck him.
I see the girl that puts up with that bullshit. I see the girls that continue on in their abusive relationship because the asshole has convinced her that she deserves it. I see the girl that believes the only reason he hits her and yells at her is because he really loves her, and it just hurts him so much to see her act the way she acts that it forces his hand. I see the girl who puts up with the beatings, because she loves him and believes she can change him. She thinks that somewhere, deep down inside him, is the caring and gentle soul that he covers up and buries underneath the facade of aggression just waiting for the right girl to come along and extend the caring and nurturing hand he needs to pull himself out of depths to tranform into the Prince Charming that he really his.
He isn't. He never will be.
Eventually it just turns to fear on many levels. Fear of getting home late and him wondering where you've been. Fear of questioning where he's been. Fear of communication. Fear of expression. Fear of what he'll do next. Then the fear of what he'll do if she leaves him.
You try to tell her. You try to help her. You try to convince her that it's going to end badly. It always does. She doesn't listen. She holds on to an idea of someone who isn't there. She holds on to hope, until eventually she decides that she's been talking to you too much about what's been going on, and all your advice about getting out of there as fast as she can is detrimental to the healing process she tries to facillitate so desperately in vain, and decides it's best if you didn't talk to each other anymore.
Eventually you just pray he doesn't kill her, 'cause that's all you can do.
I see the idiot that thinks you actually give a flying fuck about every minute detail of what happens in his life on a day to day basis. No, I don't give a shit about how your cousin fell off a ladder while trying to fix a chandalier. No, I don't give a shit that the service at the restraunt you ate at for lunch today was the worst you'd ever had. No, I don't give a shit about how some family member that I've never met, talked to, or even heard about before right now is in the hospital getting a catheter and you feel like describing the process to me, in detail. Guess what? I don't give a shit about you having to go in to detail about every thought process you go through during every second of the day, and then telling me what you thought about it. I don't give a shit. Spare me, please, from the tedium of random pointless minutia that you shouldn't have even thought about as long as it took you to tell me you thought about it.
I see the people that vote straight Republican because they don't want gays to marry (should gays be capitalized? Fuck it, I don't really care), and because they want it to be nice and easy to get out of paying most of their taxes. I see people that love "W" because he's a good Christian man. Guess what, idiot. "W" has exploited the Christian vote, and has turned your faith (and mine, for that matter) into a means to an end. But that's ok, though. He hates abortion. That makes it ok, right?
I see people that vote straight Democrat because they don't wanna hear our kids saying "under God" in the classroom. Damn it, I guess you fuckers won't be happy until there are court orders saying intellegent design can't be taught as an alternative to evolution in every classroom in every state. If evolution is so damned foolproof, why are you threatened by being exposed to another idea? Isn't that one of the things you hypocritical bastards pride yourselves on? Your open-mindedness? Bite me, commie.
I see people every day bitching about problems they contribute to without knowing it.
I see people blissfully wallowing in their own ignorance.
I see people who fear truth so much that they are willing to fight to keep from learning it.
I see people in places that don't understand or appreciate the sacrifices made by those before them so they could be in the position they are in.
I see infidelity dressed in acquiescence.
I see hypocrisy used as the preferred ethical currency.
And I'm a part of it.
I judge.
All the bullshit I've just spewn forth like so much philisophical vomit... Who the fuck do I think I am? Who am I to judge them, you, or anybody?
I'm nobody.
This is why I take Shen Lung. In the hope that it can help me see what I'm missing about the world. In hopes that it can open my eyes to something more than what's right in front of them, to what is beyond and what is beautiful and right about people. In the hope that I can find more people who I can tolerate being around.
So is this why I blog? Because this bullshit builds and builds and builds and I'm too poilite to tell it to anybody because I know they don't wanna listen to me bitch about this depressing bullshit? Because if I don't put it down somewhere with the possibility of someone reading it I'll just keep going insane day by day? Nobody's gonna read all of this, and if you do then thank you. I wrote this for you. For someone who gives enough of a shit about someone to go through this pseudo-philisophical dystopic quagmire of a fucking blog post. I wrote this because if someone doesn't read it I'll just go more and more crazy and nobody will know why.
Maybe I did it because deep down we're all emo bitches and bastards just craving the attention we see others get.
I guess it's like Paul said to the Corinthians, that for now we see ourselves in a mirror darkly, but then face to face. That what we see now as a reflection of ourselves is skewed, altered from the reality, but as we grow the image will become more clear. At least that's what I hope he meant by it. Personally I find the notion appealing that what I see in people is just my view from a fucked up angle of a truth I don't percieve, and that what I see as twisted isn't really twisted at all, but my perception is just skewed.
I guess that's why I wrote this blog. Because I'm hoping someone can convince me that's the case, because I've never wanted to be wrong so bad in my life.
Or maybe it's just the lack of sleep talking, on top of the rum...
Probably the rum...
Someone please at least respond to tell me to have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up.