TV Review Returns!
[note: I actually wrote this thing in one sitting, but it's far too long for anyone to actually read. I shall post it in three component parts.]
24: In the first two (maybe three or even four, your mileage may vary), this was one of the most innovative, exciting shows on TV. However, the writing staff has a practice of deliberately only planning about two or three episodes ahead, to provide more “spontaneity.” After a while, this meant that they were constantly reusing old storylines because they couldn’t be bothered to take the time to come up with new ones, and turning the Big Bads of each season into apparently psychic monsters who had an infinite number of “plan B’s” prepared and who would take credit for predicting things that were obviously due to random events. This, plus their tendency to kill off everyone the audience was starting to care about means that I don’t watch 24 anymore.
30 Rock: This isn’t my kind of humor. It seems very intelligently written, and I have no problem with it winning lots of rewards and having tons of fans. Just don’t ask me to watch it. I’m also somewhat bitter that it was at least tangentially responsible for “that other behind-the-scenes-of-a-sketch-comedy-show” show Studio 60, which I really loved, being cancelled.
90210: It’s a remake of a show I never watched and never had any interest in watching. What else can I say.
Army Wives: I think the title says why I don’t watch it, don’t you?
Battlestar Galactica: Ah, Battlestar. Taking science-fiction into the 21st Century. Dark, realistic, intelligent and with some very thorny moral dilemmas and metaphors that hit a little too close to home. Sometimes draining to watch, and frustrating to wait for their rather haphazard airdates, but I never miss a show.
The Big Bang Theory: Proof positive that the 3-camera sitcom is not dead, just sleeping. It’s about four incredibly geeky guys and the blonde ditz they befriend. Corny premise, but the show does a really good job of making the geeks funny to ordinary people and also still genuinely smart and relatable to us other geeks. For example, the gag that packing a disaster kit is recommended by FEMA “and Sarah Connor” is funny on a number of levels. Watch it.
Bones: You know, I’ve heard a lot of shit about this show. I must say, I really enjoy it. I have a low tolerance for cop shows and procedurals, but Bones manages to bring me back every week because it has some really interesting characters and a good dose of somewhat morbid humor to keep us entertained when the procedural stuff loses its flavor. And though I hear (from someone who’s met him) that David Boreanaz is a dick in real life, and others argue he’s a lousy actor, I really love his chemistry with co-lead Emily Deschanel--they have a very Mulder & Scully/Sam & Diane kind of dynamic.
Brothers & Sisters: I had so little interest in this series when it came out, I no longer remember the premise. Except that it probably has something to do with brothers and sisters. Just a guess.
Burn Notice: This here’s a pretty obscure USA show (a summer series last year, this year it was half summer and now will be half winter), it’s a detective show with a twist: the lead isn’t a detective, he’s a former spy. He uses some remarkably cool and interesting spy techniques and devices to catch bad guys in sunny Miami--except, he’s not actually interested in bringing bad guys to justice, just making sure they stay away from his client. He’s sicced the cops on baddies, but also engineered their deaths by the hands of fellow criminals, convinced them to leave his client and/or Miami alone, and in the worst-case scenarios, gotten his clients new identities. Also, the show has a very interesting form of voice-over narration, wherein the protagonist simply gives “spy tips” that apply to the circumstances onscreen, without ever directly commenting on the action, his mental state, or anything that isn’t directly related to the business of spying. Plus, it’s got Bruce Campbell as the protagonist’s best friend. How can you argue with Bruce Campbell as a character named Sam Axe?
Californication: This is a sexist, misogynistic show that radically offends me. However, it took almost the whole first season for me to realize this, because it’s really intelligently written. Do not be sucked in by its sweet words! The masses of female main characters are a trick, because they only exist to set up the male characters’ emotional arcs! It will corrupt your soul! Stay away!
Chuck: Chuck has a bizarre and rather absurd premise -- the titular character has all the CIA and NSA’s secrets downloaded into his head through a series of encoded images, and he has to become a spy because he’s the only one who can recognize that guy over there as a former KGB assassin -- all this while working at a thinly-disguised Best Buy. Despite the bizarre premise (or perhaps because of it), this is a very smart and charming show. It’s an homage and subtle parody of Bond-style spy films, with a lot of very funny stuff interspersed with great action scenes. Plus there’s Adam Baldwin (Jayne from Firefly) playing a very Jayne-like character, and lots of cream-cheese shots of Chuck’s hot handler and a variety of femme fatales.
The Cleaner: This here, about an extreme drug interventionist, is incredibly emotionally manipulative -- and yet it’s hard to care, because it’s so damned good at it. It’s only if you really pay attention that you realize that the show’s writers are elegantly making your emotions dance like Pinocchio before the Blue Fairy showed up. It’s up to you if this makes your day.
Cold Case: As I said, I have a low tolerance for cop shows, and this one’s gimmick never seemed that interesting to me.
The CSI franchise: Again. Cop show. Procedural (the mother of all procedurals, and they definitely deserve either a healthy blessing or a big ol’ curse for that). Very, very little character development. Really not my style.
Dexter: Ah, Dexter. Not something most people will be able to watch without resorting to internet thievery, because it’s on Showtime. If you are able to catch it, or don’t find terrible moral dissonance in stealing it, WATCH IT! It’s about a serial killer who kills other serial killers. DON’T SCROLL DOWN! Really, it’s about a sociopathic but ultimately rather nice young man who was trained by a well-intentioned but perhaps misguided foster father to divert his incredibly violent tendencies so that he only goes after murderers. However, he’s always fighting against the urge to just kill anybody he can get his hands on--and the show isn’t really about him killing. It’s about his personal life. This man claims to be pure logic, failing to understand emotions and only faking them. But the really interesting thing about the show is how, despite his protestations, he really does care about his sister, his girlfriend, and her kids--he just doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions or other people. With an interesting and remarkably-well-acted supporting cast, this is well worth watching. Oh, there is some gore. What do you want? He’s a serial killer!
Dollhouse: This isn’t actually on yet. However, I predict it will be my favorite new show when it premieres in January. Can anybody guess why? That’s right, it’s created by Joss Whedon. The man behind Buffy, Angel, and Firefly, not to mention Oscar-winning Toy Story and a variety of other films (no, he’s disowned Alien Resurrection. Stop asking) has created a new show, starring Eliza Dushku (aka Faith from Season Three of Buffy, or Tru from Tru Calling if you’re weird) as some kind of science-experiment woman able to be programmed with any kind of personality, from sex doll to secret agent. And then she starts developing a personality of her own, which she is not supposed to do. This comprises the sum of my knowledge of the show, minus a couple meaningless details. Still. Watch it (in January).
Entourage: This is another really smart show that is completely the wrong sense of humor for me. I have nothing intelligent to say about it.
ER: It’s a medical show. It’s a soap. I believe it no longer has any of its original cast left. It fails to interest me.
Eureka: This Sci-Fi show has its quirky-meter turned up to 11. I really like it. It’s about a town full of superscientists, and a regular guy, the Sheriff, who has to keep them in line. Equal parts humor, action, and science that’s plausible if you don’t look too hard--wait, they built a miniature sun as a science fair project a few episodes ago. Never mind. Fun, funny show.
Family Guy: I have always hated the characters on Family Guy. I’ve never been able to really enjoy a show where I hate the main character, and Peter Griffin has no redeeming qualities whatsoever: he’s an idiotic, prejudiced, blowhard, and a jerk in every way that Homer Simpson isn’t. And then Lois and Meg are dull, Chris has one joke and a really annoying voice, Brian is only funny interacting with Stewie, and Stewie is underutilized (plus having devolved from an evil genius to the gay stereotype other gay stereotypes point at and say “at least I’m not that bad”). I used to watch the show because it broke all the rules, took risks no-one else would, and the quality of the jokes pushed beyond the piss-poor characterization. Now, the rule-breaking has apparently been codified into a new set of rules: Every three minutes, random flashback apropos of nothing; Ensure nobody learns any lessons, ever; and whenever the show is running short, fill it with REALLY overly long jokes (anyone remember about a minute of Peter hurting his knee? Yeah, they do that all the time now). I say tip your hat to the show Family Guy used to be, and go watch The Venture Bros. (see below).
The Ghost Whisperer: This always seemed to be a “lite” rip-off of Medium, but instead of starring a real actress, it starred Jennifer Love Hewitt’s breasts. Pretty, yes, but unable to sustain an hour of television.
Gossip Girl: Sorry, Kat, I don’t really want to watch your favorite show. I’m just not interested in the life of spoiled rich kids in Manhattan. I respect Gossip Girl, and find the new advertising technique of telling parents “this is bad for your child” intriguing, but I don’t bother with the show.
Greek: This is one of those rare shows (see also Ugly Betty) with a premise that doesn’t interest me at all, that nonetheless dragged me in with really clever and intelligent writing, characterization, and decent-to-good acting. It’s about fraternity/sorority life, as you may have guessed from the title, featuring a girl who is high up in the ranks at the “best sorority on campus,” and her geeky young brother who somehow ends up in the worst frat on campus. The great thing about this show is that it shows the fun of college without either putting it on a pedestal or demonizing it, and every character is three-dimensional, even the ditzy Legally Blonde-type best friend who would be blonde if she weren’t Black. It also has a completely non-stereotypical gay man who is allowed to be just a person rather than spending every moment of screen time obsessed with his sexuality, and a fundamentalist Christian roommate who is immensely funny but still sympathetic (Pete, you should look at this guy for Wrench). Give it a shot (it’s on ABC Family, which is actually doing some good things these days), despite the hokey premise.
Grey’s Anatomy: I must admit, I initially approached this show with the mindset of “how dare they rip off Scrubs,” but that isn’t really what turned me off about it. What did turn me off was the fact that it’s a medical show, which, as a rule, I don’t like, it’s a soap, which, as a rule, I don’t like, and the lead character is the most irritating whiny-voice-over woman since Ally McBeal. Yeah. Enjoy it. I’ll believe you that it’s really good, but I’m not going near it.
House: Did you ever notice that the name of the show is actually House, MD? No? It’s not all that catchy, is it? House manages to draw me in despite my dislike of medical shows in the same way that Bones lets me overlook my weary of procedurals--because the titular character is so damned interesting. A misanthropic, snarky, jerk (and a Sherlock Holmes homage), House manipulates everyone around him to stop him from becoming bored and fixating on his crippling pain and drug dependency. He’s fun. The show itself is formulaic, with apparently really inaccurate medicine (not that I would notice, but that’s what people say), but its medical mysteries are pretty cool, and the characters (mostly the lead) are fantastic.
Tune in tomorrow for another thrilling installment. Seriously, does anybody have any ideas on how I could make some money on this. It took me four hours.