(no subject)
It's 4:30, Christmas morn. I've been awake mostly by beer and chicken, my stomach aches, and I have no space to lie my back and get that shut-eye. Half of the house is already asleep, and half of it is playing bet-all (a card game, much like a poor-man's poker). I've been sitting here in front of the comp, reminiscing on memories past, the images sweeping by me in droves. I had not felt much more alone, despite the company of home.
It's been a while. Friends had come and gone. They've gone to build careers of their own, and have begun to live what life has to offer them. I've relied on them so much, I have been mendicant on small emotions that bring me joy and sadness, appreciation of everything that I have, and scorn of what I haven't. They've been so much of a support. I had good times, and found solace in the fact that come what may, problems can be solved on cases of beer and bottles of cheap wine and whiskey. They're good people. But I still remain a fool.
It's been a rollercoaster ride. I had pride in how I view things differently. People had called me strage, weird, aloof, anti-social, philosophical, thoughtful, a gentleman, and all sorts of labels. I was comfortable in my zone. But now that reality had reared its ugly head, I am now doubtful.
I feel drunk.
It's been a while. Friends had come and gone. They've gone to build careers of their own, and have begun to live what life has to offer them. I've relied on them so much, I have been mendicant on small emotions that bring me joy and sadness, appreciation of everything that I have, and scorn of what I haven't. They've been so much of a support. I had good times, and found solace in the fact that come what may, problems can be solved on cases of beer and bottles of cheap wine and whiskey. They're good people. But I still remain a fool.
It's been a rollercoaster ride. I had pride in how I view things differently. People had called me strage, weird, aloof, anti-social, philosophical, thoughtful, a gentleman, and all sorts of labels. I was comfortable in my zone. But now that reality had reared its ugly head, I am now doubtful.
I feel drunk.