My To-do List:
42 Ways To Annoy People
1. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
2. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
4. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
5. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think." [done]
6. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
7. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot." [done]
8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
9. Practice making fax and modem noises. [done]
10. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your friends.
11. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
12. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
13. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
14. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
15. Purposely Leave out numbers in a list. [done]
16. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. [done]
17. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. [done]
18. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
20. Drum on every available surface. [done]
21. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
22. Set alarms for random times.
23. Honk and wave to strangers.
24. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
25. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
26. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
27. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
28. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
29. Drive half a block. [done]
30. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
31. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
33. Walk into a store that has a sign that says, "Have a penny? Give a penny! Need a penny? Take a penny!" with a HUGE jar of pennies. Take a penny out of the cup, put it into your jar, and walk out.
34. After somebody finishes telling a joke, say in a very grave tone,"My brother (sister/mother/father) died that way."
35. Leave the following message on someone's answering machine: "Sir, we're not sure if you wanted us to do it, you know, after what happened, so, well, we went ahead and did it anyway. If you don't like it, we can probably take it out, but we'll have to charge you extra. Please return this call immediately. Thanks."
36. When walking behind someone outside, pull up a long piece of grass, and gently tickle them behind the ear with it. The first time, they'll try to brush it away. The second time they'll swat at it, and smack themselves. Generally, the third time they turn around and look behind themselves.
37. Call a house at random, and ask for Gary. When they tell you that there's no Gary there, call again a little while later. Do this at intervals about four times. Finally, when they're fuming and about to scream bloody murder, call a fifth time, and say, "Hi, this is Gary. Are there any messages for me?"
38. When somebody is talking very excitedly at a restaurant, pick up their plate, hand it to them, and nod gravely. Wait for them to notice and wonder why they are holding their plate.
39. At a fast food restaurant, push down the bubbles on the drink tops of everybody's drink. [done]
40. Walk up to someone you know, and say something to the effect of, "Hey, did you hear what happened to Jim? Well he was with...oh, man, I really shouldn't tell you this. No, I promised I wouldn't tell. No, I can't tell you, sorry."
41. Answer the phone "Domino's Pizza, how can I help you?" at someone else's house. Or at your own house, if you really want.
42. Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up. Announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks.
43. Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments, mutter "Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching violently.
hehe:
This is one warlock's macro'd response to random tells asking for summons:
There once was a 'lock with a shard
who got sent a tell by a 'tard.
The 'tard wanted ports, a summon of sorts,
and claimed that it wasn't that hard.
The 'lock said, "No more, you're put on ignore,"
and happily hoarded his shards.