Snowed In....
So I am sitting here, a clown to the left of me, a joker to the right, and here I am stuck in the middle with the computer. Snow, while It has its pluses, definitely has its minuses as well. For one, I got to go home early. Bad side? I don't get paid for those 5 hours I wasn't allowed to work. Its a trade off in every case, and I fuckin hate it. I could sleep, but I already slept untill about 1, when I got called into work.
Work was boring as all getout today, nothing happened, we barely had any customers...*sighs* I wish we would have stayed open, at least then I would be getting paid to do nothing, unlike now, where my only source of entertainment happens to be this computer and that can only amuse me so much without a decent plethora of people to talk to.
The con...drawing ever closer...I'm gonna be flat fuckin broke that weekend. No big game releases, noone else is getting let go...No more hours to go around. I barely scrape together rent. Its time to find a new job, but seriously, who is gonna take a High School Drop Out? Not even Target night stock would take me. I'm lucky I got the job at Funcoland. And I only got that cause PJ is buds with Pat, my manager.
I hate it here....It's not the job, the house, the Roomates...I think I'm just sick of the coast...maybe its time to pack up and head back to the midwest. I had a good run, right? 5 years? There's no shame in heading home with my tail between my legs, is there? Everything is so much simpler out there. I could easily get everything I need together to get my life on track. What's taking a step back to move so many forward?
A year on my own, and all I've proven to myself is that I am STILL incapable of running my own life. I'm still relying on people for everything. Waking me up, rides to work, managing my money.....*sighs* I'm more in the hole than when I first started. I put a dent in what I owe PJ and Corinne, but is it enough? I never seem to be able to carve out a nice chunk. And I owe Paul money, and Luis, bless him, never brings up what I owe him and firmly believes I'll pay him back when I can. And as one of the few people that believes in me, I don't want to let him down.
I'm done for now, writing all this has just made me more depressed about everything than just the snow.
Work was boring as all getout today, nothing happened, we barely had any customers...*sighs* I wish we would have stayed open, at least then I would be getting paid to do nothing, unlike now, where my only source of entertainment happens to be this computer and that can only amuse me so much without a decent plethora of people to talk to.
The con...drawing ever closer...I'm gonna be flat fuckin broke that weekend. No big game releases, noone else is getting let go...No more hours to go around. I barely scrape together rent. Its time to find a new job, but seriously, who is gonna take a High School Drop Out? Not even Target night stock would take me. I'm lucky I got the job at Funcoland. And I only got that cause PJ is buds with Pat, my manager.
I hate it here....It's not the job, the house, the Roomates...I think I'm just sick of the coast...maybe its time to pack up and head back to the midwest. I had a good run, right? 5 years? There's no shame in heading home with my tail between my legs, is there? Everything is so much simpler out there. I could easily get everything I need together to get my life on track. What's taking a step back to move so many forward?
A year on my own, and all I've proven to myself is that I am STILL incapable of running my own life. I'm still relying on people for everything. Waking me up, rides to work, managing my money.....*sighs* I'm more in the hole than when I first started. I put a dent in what I owe PJ and Corinne, but is it enough? I never seem to be able to carve out a nice chunk. And I owe Paul money, and Luis, bless him, never brings up what I owe him and firmly believes I'll pay him back when I can. And as one of the few people that believes in me, I don't want to let him down.
I'm done for now, writing all this has just made me more depressed about everything than just the snow.