I have a feeling...

Nov 27, 2005 14:51

... that I'm about to lose the best friend I've ever had. She told me that she needs to move on in her life, and from what I took from the conversation, I'm not comming with her.

She's the coldest, hardest, snippiest person I've EVER known. She does this thing to me.. whenever she talks -- I actually try and listen, and I do a terrible job of as well. I take almost everything she says personally, when I shouldn't. I'm impulsive, and quick to judge. I'm overly opinionated, and I deliberately say things and do things to piss her off. I don't know why. I never know 'why' and I hardly ever know 'how'. But I should. The closest thing I can think of as to why I'm always taking things the wrong way, and attacking when I shouldn't be, is that I've become less than a man in her eyes, and I'm unbelievably ashamed of myself. I should have never let this happen. I should've been the rock. That's what the plan was from day one. I going to be the one she could lean on when she had nobody else to. I was going to be patient, and supportive, and agreeable, and a nice guy to her. I was going to wait forever until someday, maybe she'd give me the time of day. I lost it.

She's the coolest, smartest, strongest person I've EVER known. And now I'm gonna lose her.
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