Yikes!
Reader:
Finals week. What fun. (can you feel the scarcasm here?) Another semester over. Another break filled with working and saving $$$. I should be happy. I have a guy that loves me. Good friends. Decent grades. Why am I so depressed?
I am scared. For everything I do well I have a little voice in the back of my head telling me that I will not make it. Everything I am doing is going to amount to nothing in the end. Some days I want to listen to that voice and just give up.
I want to find a way to live my life from freshmen year of high school to now over again. I have made so many mistakes. Maybe if I could find a way to fix them I would feel better. AHHHH!
Nope screaming in my journal doesn't make me feel better. I don't think the drugs which the doctor gave me are helping. Well, they are a little bit. But not enough. (sigh)
I wish I were a different kind of person. I wish I could open up to others verbally. I am writing this, and considering deleting it. Its hard to open up. I have been kicked down so many times. I have no cheeks left to turn. I am really trying to be able to open up to my roommate.
Its hard though. I am used to helping others with their issues and having to try mine on my own. I have been living with my roommate for about a year now, and I still have to force myself to stay open. I feel guilty when I unload on her because I know that she has issues of her own.
I wish she knew how much I appreciate her. Even if we don't talk at night I take comfort in the fact that I could have someone to talk to if needed, I hope she feels the same.
We are both busy and have been growing apart lately, but I wish and hope that we can come back together over the holiday. My reluctance to open up is an issue between us and I hope to get the help I need over the break to begin remedying this. We come from different backgrounds, but that I think is why we are such good friends. Most of the time we can talk about anything. She challenges me to be better and to strive to do my best.
If I cannot make this relationship work with a friend how can I hope to make one work with Oregon boy when he moves back to Iowa?
Enough contimplation,
Adieu,
Writer
Finals week. What fun. (can you feel the scarcasm here?) Another semester over. Another break filled with working and saving $$$. I should be happy. I have a guy that loves me. Good friends. Decent grades. Why am I so depressed?
I am scared. For everything I do well I have a little voice in the back of my head telling me that I will not make it. Everything I am doing is going to amount to nothing in the end. Some days I want to listen to that voice and just give up.
I want to find a way to live my life from freshmen year of high school to now over again. I have made so many mistakes. Maybe if I could find a way to fix them I would feel better. AHHHH!
Nope screaming in my journal doesn't make me feel better. I don't think the drugs which the doctor gave me are helping. Well, they are a little bit. But not enough. (sigh)
I wish I were a different kind of person. I wish I could open up to others verbally. I am writing this, and considering deleting it. Its hard to open up. I have been kicked down so many times. I have no cheeks left to turn. I am really trying to be able to open up to my roommate.
Its hard though. I am used to helping others with their issues and having to try mine on my own. I have been living with my roommate for about a year now, and I still have to force myself to stay open. I feel guilty when I unload on her because I know that she has issues of her own.
I wish she knew how much I appreciate her. Even if we don't talk at night I take comfort in the fact that I could have someone to talk to if needed, I hope she feels the same.
We are both busy and have been growing apart lately, but I wish and hope that we can come back together over the holiday. My reluctance to open up is an issue between us and I hope to get the help I need over the break to begin remedying this. We come from different backgrounds, but that I think is why we are such good friends. Most of the time we can talk about anything. She challenges me to be better and to strive to do my best.
If I cannot make this relationship work with a friend how can I hope to make one work with Oregon boy when he moves back to Iowa?
Enough contimplation,
Adieu,
Writer