Nothing to Say

[loradona]

I am furious.  I could spit nails.  In the last ten minutes of the day, the principal stopped into my classroom to casually tell me he would NOT be recommending my renewal to the school board on Monday.  I just stared at him.  I finally asked why.  The previous conflicts, was the response.  I just stared again.  For minutes.  Then I asked if my playing-nice-attitude meant nothing, if the fact that I backed off and gave in to his demands meant nothing.  He backpedaled--No, that's not what he said.  I was silent.  Staring.  What to say?  So I asked what my next choices were.  His answer:  meet with the school board on Monday to plead my case or submit my letter of resignation.  My mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for air on land.  I finally asked how to be put on the agenda.  He told me to email the superintendent, since he makes the agenda.  Right then and there I pivoted in my chair at my computer (thank goodness I was already sitting) and began emailing the superintendent.  I didn't even wait for him to leave.  As I was typing, he sat in silence, watching me, until rising and asking:

"Do you have anything else to say?"

Do I have anything else to say?  Of course I have other things to say.  I want to say how cheap it is for him to ambush me the last ten minutes of the day when I had been in his office THAT DAY to hear the (positive) results of my observation just YESTERDAY.  I wanted to say that this was out of nowhere, that I was gobsmacked, that I had no idea this was coming.  There were no indications, no warnings since our disagreements in November.  I wanted to say that I had been so nice and had tried to work with him.  Did I have anything to say?

I didn't look up from my computer.  "No."

He walked out.

I had nothing to say to him.