some thoughts...
well i have not been on this for quite a while....
been busy, very busy
I work at albertosns now (some of you already know that)
Brad is planning on proposing sometime before 2009... I am nervious and do not know if when he asks if I will be in the middle of freaking out or if i will be feeling like i can do it. why does he have to be so frikking old!!! well so much older than me, this would be so much easier if we were the same age or just a couple years appart. gah.
I am afraid that...
1 Im too young
2 Because of the fact that he will be my first BOYFRIEND that the fact i have not been in the dating scene will cause me to relaps at the age of 30 and cheat or at least ponder it
3 divorce scares me
4 my family will reject him and not even try to get to know him
5 being a fucking cleshe (or however you spell the word that means discustingly steriotypical)
i love him and some days i say i am willing to take the chance.. i mean I have no idea how I am going to feel in 20 years or even 10 and that scares me, but at the same time I know i will not know until after the time has already passed. Brad and I are compatible and the best part is I love him to boot. he makes me feel better when I am down he can handle me when I am being difficult (or at least still loves me). he has not ran away yet... he actually wants to keep me! and he has seen me at my best and at my worst. the only thing that is missing his ability to live with a slob (I do not know how well he is going to handle that)
he has some co-conspiriters that know the details. All I know is that the ring is going to be white gold or platnum with a quarter carrot dimond either round or pear(the one that looks like a tear drop)cut.(the best part is that we see eye to eye), and that he is going to propose before 2009, and that our tie kwan do master is one of the co conspiriters.
i have my suspitions on when he is going to pop the question.. you see this winter we are going to hawiie to surprize his dad on his birthday, and his dads birthday is on march 2. that means i am going to be in hawiie on my birthday!!!!! but i think that he is going to propose before we get on the plane so when we get to hawiie i will be his fiancee instead of his girlfriend. happy birthday dad! if he doesnt do it then i do not know when he will do it (unless he proposes in hawiie). but every special occasion i will be nervious.
one other stressor that i have is how I am going to pay for college... there are a couple grants that are possible for me to get through my dads work. but i need loans and more grants if I even can get any more grants... girlscouts may work out for that...it is supposed to be good for this kind of stuff, isn't it??
well those are the stressors that are going through my head at the moment and the exiting events that are to occure.
ttyl
been busy, very busy
I work at albertosns now (some of you already know that)
Brad is planning on proposing sometime before 2009... I am nervious and do not know if when he asks if I will be in the middle of freaking out or if i will be feeling like i can do it. why does he have to be so frikking old!!! well so much older than me, this would be so much easier if we were the same age or just a couple years appart. gah.
I am afraid that...
1 Im too young
2 Because of the fact that he will be my first BOYFRIEND that the fact i have not been in the dating scene will cause me to relaps at the age of 30 and cheat or at least ponder it
3 divorce scares me
4 my family will reject him and not even try to get to know him
5 being a fucking cleshe (or however you spell the word that means discustingly steriotypical)
i love him and some days i say i am willing to take the chance.. i mean I have no idea how I am going to feel in 20 years or even 10 and that scares me, but at the same time I know i will not know until after the time has already passed. Brad and I are compatible and the best part is I love him to boot. he makes me feel better when I am down he can handle me when I am being difficult (or at least still loves me). he has not ran away yet... he actually wants to keep me! and he has seen me at my best and at my worst. the only thing that is missing his ability to live with a slob (I do not know how well he is going to handle that)
he has some co-conspiriters that know the details. All I know is that the ring is going to be white gold or platnum with a quarter carrot dimond either round or pear(the one that looks like a tear drop)cut.(the best part is that we see eye to eye), and that he is going to propose before 2009, and that our tie kwan do master is one of the co conspiriters.
i have my suspitions on when he is going to pop the question.. you see this winter we are going to hawiie to surprize his dad on his birthday, and his dads birthday is on march 2. that means i am going to be in hawiie on my birthday!!!!! but i think that he is going to propose before we get on the plane so when we get to hawiie i will be his fiancee instead of his girlfriend. happy birthday dad! if he doesnt do it then i do not know when he will do it (unless he proposes in hawiie). but every special occasion i will be nervious.
one other stressor that i have is how I am going to pay for college... there are a couple grants that are possible for me to get through my dads work. but i need loans and more grants if I even can get any more grants... girlscouts may work out for that...it is supposed to be good for this kind of stuff, isn't it??
well those are the stressors that are going through my head at the moment and the exiting events that are to occure.
ttyl