(no subject)
deep breath..
i was exited about going to college this summer.. now i am scared shitless.
my dad said that for every hour of class you have three hours of studying to do.. i have three classes so that is 9 hours of studying. i do not think i can hold out for 9 hours strait studying.. esspecually if i want to get to bed at a decent time. i think maybe i can manage it.. i am going to be stuck at the college until five possibly anyway.. so i can organize certain days to select a subject to study.
so do not be surprized if you see me at school next year and i am pasty white... that just means i had to stay inside studying.
i hope to god the lectures for psyc. are more interesting at EVCC then at jackson with Stuart.
the sucky thing is right now i cannot work worth a damn.. i am trying to work on a project but i keep on wanting to do other stuff and crap like that. i get so annoyed with myself sometimes.. i have no motivation, and yet i do not understand why i dont. there is no real reason for me to not have motivation.. but at the same time i guess there is really no reason for me to HAVE motivation.. i guess i feel like that everything will come together on its own or something.. i need to stop thinking that.. but i dont until it is too late to do anything.. or i get totally stressed if there is something i can do.
i dunno, part of me blames my parents... they have not helped in my jumping from thing to thing.. because they have always asked me to do things at once and screaming to do those different things at that moment of being asked. or while i am in the middle of a task they tell me to do something else.. i really have not learned to take things one thing at a time. but i am figuring that out now. i just do not know how i get out of this mind set. it is like whatever happens i really do not care or something.. or i have the teenage mindset of this will not happen to me. why do i have the mindset, and yet KNOW that it is dumb and i need to change it.. but i dont know how.
i just dont get me sometimes...
i was exited about going to college this summer.. now i am scared shitless.
my dad said that for every hour of class you have three hours of studying to do.. i have three classes so that is 9 hours of studying. i do not think i can hold out for 9 hours strait studying.. esspecually if i want to get to bed at a decent time. i think maybe i can manage it.. i am going to be stuck at the college until five possibly anyway.. so i can organize certain days to select a subject to study.
so do not be surprized if you see me at school next year and i am pasty white... that just means i had to stay inside studying.
i hope to god the lectures for psyc. are more interesting at EVCC then at jackson with Stuart.
the sucky thing is right now i cannot work worth a damn.. i am trying to work on a project but i keep on wanting to do other stuff and crap like that. i get so annoyed with myself sometimes.. i have no motivation, and yet i do not understand why i dont. there is no real reason for me to not have motivation.. but at the same time i guess there is really no reason for me to HAVE motivation.. i guess i feel like that everything will come together on its own or something.. i need to stop thinking that.. but i dont until it is too late to do anything.. or i get totally stressed if there is something i can do.
i dunno, part of me blames my parents... they have not helped in my jumping from thing to thing.. because they have always asked me to do things at once and screaming to do those different things at that moment of being asked. or while i am in the middle of a task they tell me to do something else.. i really have not learned to take things one thing at a time. but i am figuring that out now. i just do not know how i get out of this mind set. it is like whatever happens i really do not care or something.. or i have the teenage mindset of this will not happen to me. why do i have the mindset, and yet KNOW that it is dumb and i need to change it.. but i dont know how.
i just dont get me sometimes...