If it makes you less sad
If it makes you less sad
I'll move out of the state
You can keep to yourself
I'll keep out of your way
They had made plans to move out to LA together after school- Santana would study, Britt would dance, they’d live together and life would be as it should be.
Now though, as she looks down at the UCLA acceptance letter, she knows she’ll be going alone.
And if it makes you less sad
I'll take your pictures all down
Every picture you paint
I will paint myself out
She packs her things quietly, by herself. It’s midnight, the day before she leaves. She shouldn’t have left it this late, she knows, but somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to do so earlier.
She’d always imagined leaving for college to be a mad, noisy affair- she and Brittany packing together, blasting music and squealing like little girls over everything and anything.
Instead, she silently puts the last of her things into a box and seals it shut. All that’s left now is a few rag-tag, unwanted items scattered in her closet and under her bed, and the picture she’s had pinned to her headboard since before she could remember- her and Brittany on the first day of school, grinning like idiots. She gingerly takes it down and stares, willing herself to take in every aspect of the small, faded image.
She’s wearing white shorts and a pink singlet, her hair in a large, messy side plait. Her arm is linked through Brittany’s, who is sporting a white-blonde bob and a blue dress. There’s a gap in Santana’s front teeth and Brittany is holding a large, purple bear.
Santana gives the photo a tired smile, before ripping it slowly in two- she and her teeth on one side, Brittany and the bear on the other. She bends down and roots around under the bed before her hand grasps what it is looking for. There he is, Joey the bear. She’d stolen in from Brittany the day the picture was taken, and for years Brittany had joked about stealing it back.
Santana sighs and gets to her feet, grabbing a nearby loose pen as she does so. She’s ready.
It's as cold as a tomb
And it's dark in your room
When I sneak to your bed
To pour salt in your wounds
The window is open, just as Santana knew it would be. It’s been more than a year since she’s snuck in, but she knew the blonde wouldn’t have closed it- how else would the fairies get in to protect her family while she slept if her window was locked?
She shivers against the cold as she quickly climbs the tree outside the blonde’s window. Reaching forward, she makes sure her cargo is properly secured in her backpack before she quickly swings herself into the room.
Looking around, she lets her eyes adjust to the light as they swing around the room, taking in what has changed and what hasn’t. Her eyes float to the bed, expecting to see the familiar shape underneath the old powerpuff girls duvet.
Only Brittany isn’t there.
Bile rises to Santana’s throat when she realises- Artie is leaving for college tomorrow as well. Brittany must have been staying with him.
She stumbles over to the bed and sits, unable to move or even function for a good ten minutes. Eventually, she shakes her head. It’s been too long for her to still care about this. She pulls out the pen, bear, and half the picture from her backpack. Setting the bear on Brittany’s pillow, she quickly scrawls on the back of the picture- B, I know it’s been a while, but hopefully you remember Joey. I figured you’d want him back. See you round. S.
Once finished, she props the picture up against the bear, and takes on last look- The little blonde girl, grinning so happily, one arm holding Joey, the other clutching something that’s no longer there.