My So-Called Life
As one aspect of life starts to come to fruition, another part stagnates. Is that the way it is always in life-- adult life, I mean-- or just right now, for me?
Because "professionally," things are going well. Why do I feel such a need to put that in quotes? Because I don't feel like a professional, because I don't feel like a grownup. Yet last week I had a meeting with the president of the Knoxville News-Sentinel; the editor of the Knoxville Business Journal; the editor of the business section of the paper. [I'm going to be freelancing.] We had dinner at the country club last week and I may have networked my way into writing a case study for one of the biggest architecture firms in the county. The playboy with my interview came out last week. [For those not 'in the know,' Playboy interviewed me about my advice column for their college issue. Choice quote? "People at Carnegie Mellon don't need advice on how to put on a condom. They need advice on how not to creep girls out.") All of these things are very exciting.
They're very exciting.
But I'm really not that excited.
I know I have to do it. I know that it would be stupid to leave because these are the kind of contacts and opportunities that would take five years to develop anywhere else. I know that it's hard to make new friends in a new place and that any new place would pose the same problems etc. etc. etc. etc.
But that doesn't change the fact that I've been here for almost two months and I have yet to make a single friend. And, more than that, I really don't want to do the scene right now. I don't know where there are people like me here and I don't know how to figure it out and I don't really want to force myself to go sit places by myself.
On the plus, I'm getting a lot of reading done! And I'm learning to play the first Regina Spektor album on my cousin's Steinway.
Because "professionally," things are going well. Why do I feel such a need to put that in quotes? Because I don't feel like a professional, because I don't feel like a grownup. Yet last week I had a meeting with the president of the Knoxville News-Sentinel; the editor of the Knoxville Business Journal; the editor of the business section of the paper. [I'm going to be freelancing.] We had dinner at the country club last week and I may have networked my way into writing a case study for one of the biggest architecture firms in the county. The playboy with my interview came out last week. [For those not 'in the know,' Playboy interviewed me about my advice column for their college issue. Choice quote? "People at Carnegie Mellon don't need advice on how to put on a condom. They need advice on how not to creep girls out.") All of these things are very exciting.
They're very exciting.
But I'm really not that excited.
I know I have to do it. I know that it would be stupid to leave because these are the kind of contacts and opportunities that would take five years to develop anywhere else. I know that it's hard to make new friends in a new place and that any new place would pose the same problems etc. etc. etc. etc.
But that doesn't change the fact that I've been here for almost two months and I have yet to make a single friend. And, more than that, I really don't want to do the scene right now. I don't know where there are people like me here and I don't know how to figure it out and I don't really want to force myself to go sit places by myself.
On the plus, I'm getting a lot of reading done! And I'm learning to play the first Regina Spektor album on my cousin's Steinway.