highly charged emotions
Today I go for my appointment regarding the results about the colposcopy I had in January. I can’t say I am looking forward to it. I’m not even sure if I can drive myself this afternoon. My mind just isn’t where it’s supposed to be. I don’t know how to explain that. Since I’ve been sick I have been really forgetful and I find it so hard to concentrate. It’s like my mind is all over the place. I’m not sure if that’s from being sick or just that I’ve been thinking way too much. When you have a lot of time to think about things sometimes that is not a good thing. You see things and think about things you don’t want to think about but perhaps that is my problem. I need to see these things in order to change and to address these issues. You can’t continuously ignore things because when you do you are not really living, you are pretending or living in a fantasy world. How I dream of gong to a far away land and just being by myself…
This morning I am very tired, have a slight headache and my stomach is paining. I always feel like I am going to vomit after taking those damn antibiotics. I have to eat now at such strange hours. 9 in the morning and a big meal 9 at night or I will vomit. These pills feel like they are eating my stomach.
You know I find it so odd with us humans. There are some people out there who cannot deal with someone like me. They think I’m too overly emotional and way too sensitive. I should pull myself together and toughened the F up. Than on the flip side you have those who are control of their emotions, they are the strong ones. The ones who can handle anything. They can make light of a bad situation and find something funny in it, but some people cannot deal with those types either. They think they have no emotions or are heartless. We are such a strange species us humans. Why can’t we just learn to accept people for who they are, instead of judging them! Everyone is a story and if you really listen to that story you might find you have a lot in common with that person you are judging.
"Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another unless it reflects something you love or hate in yourself."
I feel very aloof and withdrawn today. I can’t help that. It’s the way I grew up. It’s all I know. When something is painful or hard to deal with I go into my shell and come out when I’m ready. In other words I have to admit I am scared of what I will hear today. So I will sit here in my room and have a good cry to let some of these highly charged emotions pour out of me. I feel alone, yet I know I am not alone…
This morning I am very tired, have a slight headache and my stomach is paining. I always feel like I am going to vomit after taking those damn antibiotics. I have to eat now at such strange hours. 9 in the morning and a big meal 9 at night or I will vomit. These pills feel like they are eating my stomach.
You know I find it so odd with us humans. There are some people out there who cannot deal with someone like me. They think I’m too overly emotional and way too sensitive. I should pull myself together and toughened the F up. Than on the flip side you have those who are control of their emotions, they are the strong ones. The ones who can handle anything. They can make light of a bad situation and find something funny in it, but some people cannot deal with those types either. They think they have no emotions or are heartless. We are such a strange species us humans. Why can’t we just learn to accept people for who they are, instead of judging them! Everyone is a story and if you really listen to that story you might find you have a lot in common with that person you are judging.
"Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another unless it reflects something you love or hate in yourself."
I feel very aloof and withdrawn today. I can’t help that. It’s the way I grew up. It’s all I know. When something is painful or hard to deal with I go into my shell and come out when I’m ready. In other words I have to admit I am scared of what I will hear today. So I will sit here in my room and have a good cry to let some of these highly charged emotions pour out of me. I feel alone, yet I know I am not alone…