(no subject)

[looselips09]

Recently lots of shit came down. Army recruiter called me...and it turned into this big fiasco. All within a matter of 2 days I'm doing things I thought I never would have thought to do. Funny thing is...my recruiter believes I'm all for the army when the truth of it all is I'm scared shitless and dont want to be involved. I told him I didnt want to move fast yet I was already taking the test a day after understanding everything. Then next thing I know I'm signing papers about taking a physical exam first thing next week. I talked to my friend who is in the army and he's telling me not to join, I'm talking to other people and they keep feeding me stories about the army. And I dont have a moment to myself to think about things to even evaluate the situation. When I finally get the time to sit down and process my thoughts it's like I'm catering to everyone..to the army to the people I know around me. In the end of it all...I'm scared and nobody truly understand it. I dont want to commit myself to something I hate for the next 6 years. I dont want to wear a fucking uniform for 5 days a week in a hot ass weather. I hate wearing boots and I hate looking like everyone else...its a communist bullshit environment.

Tomorrow my recruiter is going to come over to get some paper works. And when I speak to him over the phone prior to him coming over I pray to god that he respect my decision, if he doesnt fuck him and fuck the rest of them. I totally respect them but if they cant understand my decision of not volunteering then it wasnt worth it and in the end everyone was right. Time will tell by tomorrow how things will go....