WOW
Wow. Well, I stopped keeping a journal on both counts - here and in my drawer.
A lot of stuff happened. Stuff that I didn't particularly want to reflect on and deal with.
And writing about the stuff just would have made me do that.
And I haven't started writing in my diary yet. But maybe I will today.
Yes, I am ready to dot-point (for those who may come across this cobwebbed dusty journal with the slightest bit of interest) what happened between my last entry and now...
*Went to hospital with quinsy (absis on throat)
*subsequently had to miss a week of tafe
*week four of tafe did not exist as we were asked to do a voluntary adelaide fest performance
*week five I worked on writers week (I had informed the teachers earlier in the year about the contract)
*Puddleglum died while I was working my last day at WW.
*i returned to school and was immediately asked to consider withdrawing from the course ( i had, in effect, gone from wk 2 - wk 6)
*I had been studying all the time I was not at tafe and keeping in contact with the other students so that I would be able to catch up when I returned.
*I only did the volunteer work thing (against medical advice) because there were no classes for me to attend in wk 4 and I felt I should DO SOMETHING connected to tafe.
*I didn't actually HAVE FUN doing writers week. It was a hard slog in a tent ten degrees higher than the current 38 degree weather.
*and all the while I had to watch my dog getting sicker and his eyes getting less bright and him thowing up the smallest morsel, and having to force feed him nutrigel and staying up with him in the night before 10 hrs work at writers week, worrying about TAFE.
ahh.
*so blah. After the withdrawal thing, i decided to push myself even more, I WOULD CATCH UP. I kept trying to arrange meetings with the two teachers who felt i'd missed too much to keep up, to prove to them that I was up to speed.
*my social life was pretty much non-existant, every day at tafe was possibly my last, I didn't have time to do fun things with the other students, i missed my best friend like crazy, I wanted Puddy back...
*then it was holidays, my miagraines stopped, my body could relax and recover, we got a new puppy (I wasn't sure if it was too soon, but Puddy's breeder had offered us a little girl pup and we met her and I fell in love with her and she's called Holly)
*Term two started and I have been focussed on being an actor.
I just want to be good at something for once in my life. To actually be GOOD at what I do. To be GREAT at it. Not ok sometimes. Not pretty good. And acting, it's a life not just a subject. I want to BE one. So I'm being selfish for once. For once I don't care if it affects my social life because I deserve to do well at something. At the same time I do care, I still love my friends but if any of them are readint this I hope they get it and understand. I used to be a social orgainser. And I think that might've been something that stopped me doing well in year 12: my focus on my friends. This course means SO MUCH to me and so for once I just have to give my everything to it, let it consume me, be self-indulgent, just focus. And maybe even take my own friends for granted.
End of rant.
A lot of stuff happened. Stuff that I didn't particularly want to reflect on and deal with.
And writing about the stuff just would have made me do that.
And I haven't started writing in my diary yet. But maybe I will today.
Yes, I am ready to dot-point (for those who may come across this cobwebbed dusty journal with the slightest bit of interest) what happened between my last entry and now...
*Went to hospital with quinsy (absis on throat)
*subsequently had to miss a week of tafe
*week four of tafe did not exist as we were asked to do a voluntary adelaide fest performance
*week five I worked on writers week (I had informed the teachers earlier in the year about the contract)
*Puddleglum died while I was working my last day at WW.
*i returned to school and was immediately asked to consider withdrawing from the course ( i had, in effect, gone from wk 2 - wk 6)
*I had been studying all the time I was not at tafe and keeping in contact with the other students so that I would be able to catch up when I returned.
*I only did the volunteer work thing (against medical advice) because there were no classes for me to attend in wk 4 and I felt I should DO SOMETHING connected to tafe.
*I didn't actually HAVE FUN doing writers week. It was a hard slog in a tent ten degrees higher than the current 38 degree weather.
*and all the while I had to watch my dog getting sicker and his eyes getting less bright and him thowing up the smallest morsel, and having to force feed him nutrigel and staying up with him in the night before 10 hrs work at writers week, worrying about TAFE.
ahh.
*so blah. After the withdrawal thing, i decided to push myself even more, I WOULD CATCH UP. I kept trying to arrange meetings with the two teachers who felt i'd missed too much to keep up, to prove to them that I was up to speed.
*my social life was pretty much non-existant, every day at tafe was possibly my last, I didn't have time to do fun things with the other students, i missed my best friend like crazy, I wanted Puddy back...
*then it was holidays, my miagraines stopped, my body could relax and recover, we got a new puppy (I wasn't sure if it was too soon, but Puddy's breeder had offered us a little girl pup and we met her and I fell in love with her and she's called Holly)
*Term two started and I have been focussed on being an actor.
I just want to be good at something for once in my life. To actually be GOOD at what I do. To be GREAT at it. Not ok sometimes. Not pretty good. And acting, it's a life not just a subject. I want to BE one. So I'm being selfish for once. For once I don't care if it affects my social life because I deserve to do well at something. At the same time I do care, I still love my friends but if any of them are readint this I hope they get it and understand. I used to be a social orgainser. And I think that might've been something that stopped me doing well in year 12: my focus on my friends. This course means SO MUCH to me and so for once I just have to give my everything to it, let it consume me, be self-indulgent, just focus. And maybe even take my own friends for granted.
End of rant.