(no subject)
Well, I fucking called it. Tomorrow I have a meeting with the Bursar and HR to "discuss my performance" and my probationary status. And to think I was looking forward to tomorrow as the last day of interviews and hoping I could be super-efficient with the next stage and make up some ground. Apparently I have the right to be accompanied by a colleague (but the only one I'd want to ask is off sick) or a trade union official (but I've been given a day's notice and I'm not a union member anyway because I'm only a temp), so it will have to be just me. Guess I'll just have to find some magical way of remaining calm, reasonable and not crying. I think I may have to start jobhunting over Christmas after all. I don't even know what the fuck else to do though. It's clear as day I'm not cut out for admin. What else can I do?
I so much wanted to not fail at this like I've failed at every other challenge in my adult lifeSHUT UP THAT IS NOT HELPFUL THANK YOU BRAIN
Normal service: resumed.
I'm pretty sure that most of the list of my failings is from $neuroticboss. A couple of them will also be $academicbosses (the pertinent non-paranoid bits that I agree with because yes, I did fuck up the timetabling), but most of them are $neuroticboss, and "interesting" at that. Several of them I actually don't know what she's referring to. The ones that really get me are the two "Failure to perform $task that colleagues offered to help with and I accepted" accusations, when coupled with the "not asking for assistance despite being asked" accusation. I mean. I. I just. I should have asked, but when I did accept, I get a disciplinary?
where the fuck do I stand and what do you want me to do
Oh, the Heinous Crime Of The Wrong Coloured Paper is the penultimate item on the list. Along with an incorrect accusation about not copying the other bit of the form. You know, the bit that was in my pile to do after $neuroticboss had finished yelling at me. Lol.
I am so much calmer about this when I'm forming my battle plans and working out exactly what I'm going to say. Becomes a matter of arranging words. In view of the amazing conflicting demands from $neuroticboss, is this an inappropriate time to bring up the whole Giant Communication Problem there?
Would anybody be willing to vet what I'm planning to say for me? I haven't got much time, and a neutral pair of eyes would be very helpful.
I so much wanted to not fail at this like I've failed at every other challenge in my adult lifeSHUT UP THAT IS NOT HELPFUL THANK YOU BRAIN
Normal service: resumed.
I'm pretty sure that most of the list of my failings is from $neuroticboss. A couple of them will also be $academicbosses (the pertinent non-paranoid bits that I agree with because yes, I did fuck up the timetabling), but most of them are $neuroticboss, and "interesting" at that. Several of them I actually don't know what she's referring to. The ones that really get me are the two "Failure to perform $task that colleagues offered to help with and I accepted" accusations, when coupled with the "not asking for assistance despite being asked" accusation. I mean. I. I just. I should have asked, but when I did accept, I get a disciplinary?
where the fuck do I stand and what do you want me to do
Oh, the Heinous Crime Of The Wrong Coloured Paper is the penultimate item on the list. Along with an incorrect accusation about not copying the other bit of the form. You know, the bit that was in my pile to do after $neuroticboss had finished yelling at me. Lol.
I am so much calmer about this when I'm forming my battle plans and working out exactly what I'm going to say. Becomes a matter of arranging words. In view of the amazing conflicting demands from $neuroticboss, is this an inappropriate time to bring up the whole Giant Communication Problem there?
Would anybody be willing to vet what I'm planning to say for me? I haven't got much time, and a neutral pair of eyes would be very helpful.