The BGM is overwhelming my head right now.
Title: Barneybalt
Character: Barney
Fandom: How I Met Your Mother, Canabalt
Rating: PG/PG-13 (the sexuality you'd expect from Barney)
Word Count: 400
Spoilers: Absolutely none.
Summary: After a fantastic night, Barney has a long way to run.
Notes: I...
...
...
...make no excuses.
Barney Stinson--uh, that is, Ramón Vuzuvelás (there was a soccer game on, okay?), secret agent of the Revolución--sat straight up, accidentally bumping heads with... Tiffany? Amber? Brittany? Didn't it start with a why was he thinking about this?
Shifting out and standing up, he made a frantic scramble for the various parts of his suit. "Uh, of course it did... you!... Why don't you... stay in bed... and... have you seen my tie? No?... and I... make you... breakfast?"
The chick's voice was really confused. "Ramón, it's three in the morning."
"And I'm famished!" he chirped. "I'm going to go into the kitchen and--"
If the warning sirens didn't tip him off that something was horribly, horribly wrong, the giant alien robots attacking the city did.
"Ramón? What's going on? Did the militant death squads of the oppresive government that rules your country with an iron fist find you out?"
There may have been a reasonable way to respond to that; Barney simply didn't know what it was. He simply double-checked to make sure, as he did when he first entered the chick (and her room, what up), that he could jump onto the rooftop to the next building from her balcony. Yup, it looked like he could do that and then some.
For the first time in seven or eight years, he decided that he could make do without a cravat. He was just that awesome.
Ah, there was the reasonable response.
"My dear, I'm afraid it's too late for us. Save yourself, while you can! My country's Robot Armored Infantry is fed up with the city harboring me. I must buy you some time and distract them while you escape!"
He grabbed her by her breasts and held her close. "Our time together was too short, but I am thankful to you for everything you've done for me--for my people, for giving me the strength I need to finish this fight. Go now, and never forget me! Your name will forever remain on my lips...
"...
"...
"...--"
"Santana."
...really? Santana? "...Santana! Now away I go!"
And with that, Barney Stinson made his dramatic exit through a balcony window and somersaulted onto the rooftop below. And without stopping, he continued in the direction he believed was MacLaren's, because that was the only place he could think of at the moment.
And he ran.
Ran like there was a fat chick chasing him.
Character: Barney
Fandom: How I Met Your Mother, Canabalt
Rating: PG/PG-13 (the sexuality you'd expect from Barney)
Word Count: 400
Spoilers: Absolutely none.
Summary: After a fantastic night, Barney has a long way to run.
Notes: I...
...
...
...make no excuses.
Barney Stinson--uh, that is, Ramón Vuzuvelás (there was a soccer game on, okay?), secret agent of the Revolución--sat straight up, accidentally bumping heads with... Tiffany? Amber? Brittany? Didn't it start with a why was he thinking about this?
Shifting out and standing up, he made a frantic scramble for the various parts of his suit. "Uh, of course it did... you!... Why don't you... stay in bed... and... have you seen my tie? No?... and I... make you... breakfast?"
The chick's voice was really confused. "Ramón, it's three in the morning."
"And I'm famished!" he chirped. "I'm going to go into the kitchen and--"
If the warning sirens didn't tip him off that something was horribly, horribly wrong, the giant alien robots attacking the city did.
"Ramón? What's going on? Did the militant death squads of the oppresive government that rules your country with an iron fist find you out?"
There may have been a reasonable way to respond to that; Barney simply didn't know what it was. He simply double-checked to make sure, as he did when he first entered the chick (and her room, what up), that he could jump onto the rooftop to the next building from her balcony. Yup, it looked like he could do that and then some.
For the first time in seven or eight years, he decided that he could make do without a cravat. He was just that awesome.
Ah, there was the reasonable response.
"My dear, I'm afraid it's too late for us. Save yourself, while you can! My country's Robot Armored Infantry is fed up with the city harboring me. I must buy you some time and distract them while you escape!"
He grabbed her by her breasts and held her close. "Our time together was too short, but I am thankful to you for everything you've done for me--for my people, for giving me the strength I need to finish this fight. Go now, and never forget me! Your name will forever remain on my lips...
"...
"...
"...--"
"Santana."
...really? Santana? "...Santana! Now away I go!"
And with that, Barney Stinson made his dramatic exit through a balcony window and somersaulted onto the rooftop below. And without stopping, he continued in the direction he believed was MacLaren's, because that was the only place he could think of at the moment.
And he ran.
Ran like there was a fat chick chasing him.